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I dont understand, assist if you can

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
in Sex & Relationships
Ok, me and my ex gf recently were talking again, and we were getting on really well and we started talking about sex again..and then she just stopped talking apprantly there was too much detail involved, but she blocked me etc, i just accepted that and moved on, i dont think she expected this then came back into my life apologising and saying she was immature, the problem is, im totally in control when shes not around, but when shes in my life i cant think of anyone else, and this puts her totally in control, and i hate it. We even considered getting together again now that weve both grown up and matured but we live to far apart, I really want her as a friend but shes so akward to talk to, though if I ignore her at all she seems to come running. How should I work this?

Dave

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    evil_dave wrote:
    the problem is, im totally in control when shes not around, but when shes in my life i cant think of anyone else, and this puts her totally in control, and i hate it.
    You said it yourself mate, this pretty much answers your question in my book. move on.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    evil_dave wrote:
    Ok, me and my ex gf recently were talking again, and we were getting on really well and we started talking about sex again..and then she just stopped talking apprantly there was too much detail involved, but she blocked me etc, i just accepted that and moved on, i dont think she expected this then came back into my life apologising and saying she was immature, the problem is, im totally in control when shes not around, but when shes in my life i cant think of anyone else, and this puts her totally in control, and i hate it. We even considered getting together again now that weve both grown up and matured but we live to far apart, I really want her as a friend but shes so akward to talk to, though if I ignore her at all she seems to come running. How should I work this?

    Dave

    I don't really see a problem.
    If you are both mature now, as you say, then it's easy, isn't it.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    icey wrote:
    You said it yourself mate, this pretty much answers your question in my book. move on.


    :yes:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    The answer is obvious.

    Cut contact with her and move on.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    *Snow White Queen* wrote:
    The answer is obvious.

    Cut contact with her and move on.

    Sometimes it's easier said than done though :(
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    the problem is, im totally in control when shes not around, but when shes in my life i cant think of anyone else,
    isn't this normal?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    squeal16 wrote:
    Sometimes it's easier said than done though :(

    Very true. Can't you just cut contact for a bit?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    it is normal sometimes, but it's not good. being with someone is about mutual feeling and, imo, should make you feel stronger, more in control, despite the dependence.

    just my opinion but that level of loss of control seems to come with an unhealthy sort of love/feeling, that will only end in tears. i know it's hard but you do need to move on - just try to get some kind of closure on the relationship first or else those strong feelings linger.
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