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violence?

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
I feel really silly posting this but i need some opinions.

Yesterday my dad was in the shower, then started shouting and swearing cause the bottle of shampoo was empty. Now this is pretty normal. But then he came raging upstairs to my brothers room and started shouting and swearing at my brother for using it up (my dad and brother are the only ones that use the shower) and threw the bottle at him and carried on shouting. Now, i dunno if this counts as being violent or not. If it is should i tell anyone? By the way my mums away for the weekend so we're on our own with him. Last time she went away my dad was shouting at my brother for something, then kicked my door open and started shouting at me too. Now, this is the first time he's actually 'lashed out' but he didn't actually hit my brother. So is it still voilence? If its just the once should i let it go? I don't know what to do.
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Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    well its violence, but i hardly think throwing an empty shampoo bottle at someone is a reason to start getting your dad in trouble.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    This is nothing compared to what went on in my house!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    turlough wrote:
    This is nothing compared to what went on in my house!
    :yes: same here
    my advice: forget it
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Yeah, its violence, and I'd have a quiet word about his temper when he's a bit calmer.

    No, its not the end of the world at the minute, but just make sure that you protect yourselves should it get worse. I wouldn't be worried yet, its not crime of the century, but its always a good idea to stay clued up.

    I know your parents have been having a rough time of it, so I wouldn't be too hard on him, but just be careful. Problems start with small steps, that's all I'm saying.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    agree with kermit.....but parents do sometimes lose their tmeper and think it's ok to do this.....i remember years ago when my mum was drunk and she chucked a frozen chicken at me......and then a bottle of vinegar.

    i recent years we had a fight once, she chucked a pint of water over me while i was in bed....so i soaked her bed with more water than u can imagine! then we both ended up in the wardrobe! its funny when we talk about it now!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    yeah, as the others have said forgert about it.
    Does depend on how old your brother is though cause if hes like 5 and your dad steamed the bottle in his face, i'd say thats pretty bad. if hes 15 he might get over it.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    icey wrote:
    yeah, as the others have said forgert about it.
    Does depend on how old your brother is though cause if hes like 5 and your dad steamed the bottle in his face, i'd say thats pretty bad. if hes 15 he might get over it.
    hm well my brother is 14 but he has aspergers syndrome (form of autism) which means he can take things very personally and gets upset easily
    i'll leave it to him to say something - but he'll probably be too scared to.

    I know that it wasn't anything major and i know people have had worse, i'm not making a song and dance about it - but dad does lose his temper easy and has been even more irritable since mum got a new boyfriend. So i was just wondering if i should say something now - just in case. He also came from a violent family.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    \
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    If it bothers you that much, just have a quiet word with him.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    sophia wrote:
    are you afraid of him ballerina?
    yep. I've always been afraid of my dad.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Ballerina wrote:
    yep. I've always been afraid of my dad.

    does anyone know this?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Sofie wrote:
    does anyone know this?
    my mum - but shes always been afraid of him too
  • SkiveSkive Posts: 15,282 Skive's The Limit
    It's just an argument. People sometime et pissed off and that's fair enough.
    Weekender Offender 
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Skive wrote:
    It's just an argument. People sometime et pissed off and that's fair enough.
    it wasn't really - my brother wasn't doing/saying anything. He was in his room.
  • SkiveSkive Posts: 15,282 Skive's The Limit
    Ballerina wrote:
    it wasn't really - my brother wasn't doing/saying anything. He was in his room.

    People have arguments and get angry. That's ife.
    Weekender Offender 
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Ballerina wrote:
    it wasn't really - my brother wasn't doing/saying anything. He was in his room.

    It doesn't really matter. You can't really expect happy families with happy parents where no one has problems or pressures, it's called reality.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    turlough wrote:
    It doesn't really matter. You can't really expect happy families with happy parents where no one has problems or pressures, it's called reality.

    :yes: And it was hardly violence.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    yes i know people get angry ect - but there was no reason to take it out on my brother tbh
    and it was a really stupid thing to get angry over - that's the thing. It's just worrying that silly things set him off.
    He's not been much of a dad since my parents split up anyway and he'll probably have left by the end of the year. I won't bother saying anything as it will all come back in my face - but if he flies off the rail again i'll say something.
    And its always when mums not around so we do feel a bit vulerable.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    tbh ballerina. You have to think carefully before getting someone in trouble, which is what "telling someone" would do, unless of course you mean telling your mum, or telling your nana or something.
    Parents are rarely perfect. Theyre just human, and parents lose their temper over stupid stuff just as much as non-parents do.
    Youre 16 now as well. Maybe you need to stop thinking like a child victim so much.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Ballerina wrote:
    yes i know people get angry ect - but there was no reason to take it out on my brother tbh
    and it was a really stupid thing to get angry over - that's the thing. It's just worrying that silly things set him off.
    He's not been much of a dad since my parents split up anyway and he'll probably have left by the end of the year. I won't bother saying anything as it will all come back in my face - but if he flies off the rail again i'll say something.
    And its always when mums not around so we do feel a bit vulerable.

    Well he did finis the shower gel...

    Frankly I wouldn't worry, if you had met my step-dad, believe you would have known what being in rage mean... I had to walk on eggs for fucking years... Some people just have short temperit doesn't mea they would actually beat the crap out of you... It's a good preparation for life imo...
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    tbh ballerina. You have to think carefully before getting someone in trouble, which is what "telling someone" would do, unless of course you mean telling your mum, or telling your nana or something.
    Parents are rarely perfect. Theyre just human, and parents lose their temper over stupid stuff just as much as non-parents do.
    Youre 16 now as well. Maybe you need to stop thinking like a child victim so much.
    well thats why i came on here first - and if i did, i only trust my mum and a few close friends to be told. I just thought my mum ought to know that he tends to fly off the handle when she's not around. The last thing i want to do is get my dad into trouble.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    turlough wrote:
    It doesn't really matter. You can't really expect happy families with happy parents where no one has problems or pressures, it's called reality.

    There are ways of dealing with that healthily and maturely, though.

    In this case I don't think there's too much to worry about- fuck, when I get pissed off the whole kitchen goes flying out the window- but the fact the anger is being targeted at a person would set a faint alarm bell ringing. Especially if there's a lot of fear of what he could do.

    The best thing to do is stand up to him if hes being a twat.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Honest to God, it amazes me how much nonsense some of you lot post. Reading some of this stuff, I get the impression the general feeling is it's okay for parents to lash out violently at their children. And this is coming from some people who already are parents! What is this - getting the excuses in now so that when your kids are teenagers and you lash out in violence, you can say "it's not your fault" when it damn well is? What kind of message is that to spread on a board with some very vulnerable people on it? Shame on the lot of you!

    Some of you may dismiss violence as something that happens, but I won't stand for it. As far as I'm concerned, for a grown man to start behaving in a violent manner towards his own 14-year old son is dangerous and utterly irresponsible, and should be condemned outright, not laughably dismissed as "just part of life". You may be prepared to make excuses for violence, but I sure as hell aren't prepared to.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    stargalaxy wrote:
    Honest to God, it amazes me how much nonsense some of you lot post. Reading some of this stuff, I get the impression the general feeling is it's okay for parents to lash out violently at their children. And this is coming from some people who already are parents! What is this - getting the excuses in now so that when your kids are teenagers and you lash out in violence, you can say "it's not your fault" when it damn well is? What kind of message is that to spread on a board with some very vulnerable people on it? Shame on the lot of you!

    Some of you may dismiss violence as something that happens, but I won't stand for it. As far as I'm concerned, for a grown man to start behaving in a violent manner towards his own 14-year old son is dangerous and utterly irresponsible, and should be condemned outright, not laughably dismissed as "just part of life". You may be prepared to make excuses for violence, but I sure as hell aren't prepared to.

    Please get off your high horse ya prick!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Kermit wrote:
    There are ways of dealing with that healthily and maturely, though.

    In this case I don't think there's too much to worry about- fuck, when I get pissed off the whole kitchen goes flying out the window- but the fact the anger is being targeted at a person would set a faint alarm bell ringing. Especially if there's a lot of fear of what he could do.

    The best thing to do is stand up to him if hes being a twat.

    True, whenever my da got violent I just lashed back, taste of the ole medicine like. :D
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    turlough wrote:
    Please get off your high horse ya prick!
    Guess what? I don't give a toss if you do think I'm getting on a "high horse" or whatever bollocks you're talking this week. I, for one, aren't going to make excuses or start talking about "victim" status when a serious problem like this is mentioned.
  • JsTJsT Posts: 18,268 Skive's The Limit
    turlough wrote:
    Please get off your high horse ya prick!


    :yes: :yes:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    JsT wrote:
    :yes: :yes:
    I can't help but notice that whenever I dare to stand up to everyone, it's always TheSite's more bullying characters that respond. Whether it be JsT or Turlough, I notice that they can never come back with a reasoned argument over why violence in the home is acceptable. No, it's always some sort of personal insult.

    Come on, explain to those readers out there why violence in the home is acceptable. And ideally try to do it without swearing or resorting to petty name-calling and insults.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    stargalaxy wrote:
    Guess what? I don't give a toss if you do think I'm getting on a "high horse" or whatever bollocks you're talking this week. I, for one, aren't going to make excuses or start talking about "victim" status when a serious problem like this is mentioned.

    Tell ya what, whenever you become a parent and go through the shit her da has been going through and be fine and dandy about it, then come back and talk to me about good parenting cos you haven't got a fucking clue.
  • JsTJsT Posts: 18,268 Skive's The Limit
    stargalaxy wrote:
    I can't help but notice that whenever I dare to stand up to everyone, it's always TheSite's more bullying characters that respond. Whether it be JsT or Turlough, I notice that they can never come back with a reasoned argument over why violence in the home is acceptable. No, it's always some sort of personal insult.

    Come on, explain to those readers out there why violence in the home is acceptable. And ideally try to do it without swearing or resorting to petty name-calling and insults.

    What the hell are you whinging about now?

    I never ever said violence in the home is acceptable - ever. Can you find a quote where I say it?

    (By the way I dont wish to ruin a genuine thread and call for help - Perhaps you can PM me if you want have a whinge and moan)
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