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girl needs lads' help to understand them!(girls if u can offer anything aswell..)

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
right, il try and condense this as its a huge story, but please read to help me out!, be patient i need some help..
about 2 months ago i met this boy at camping, im mates with his brother. he's 19 im 16, but we're both cool with the age. we connected straight away and spent the whole night talking by a river it was lovely.
ive never felt so intensely about someone and he's 'laid back' but seemed keen too! im usually really uncomfortable with lads but with this one i could just be myself with.
i know lads hate a girl who's always ringing so i deliberately played it cool, only ringing evry few days, and he'd ring me evry few days as well. we'd meet up about twice a week and spend the day together.
once he rang me at 5 in the morning 'just to chat', and we ended up chatting for 5 hours.
about 3 weeks in when id been ringing him a lot i decided to let him ring... i ended up waiting about a week and a half. i thought about a week in that he was giving me the brush off and took the hint, in standard 'dumped' mode i spent the days in bed crying,then out of the blue 2 days before my birthday he rang as normal. he was oblivious to how id spent the week, and to be frank i was embarassed at my overreaction and carried on normally.we met up and i made him promise to tell me straight, should he ever want to end it.
but then another week and a bit passed and i decided id ring him, we had a chat and it was 3 in the morning, he just told me he'd pay for a taxi if i came to see him now. i had one of the best nights of my life with him.
i knew he'd been going on holiday that week so didnt expect a call, but when i hadnt heard from him for 2 weeks, and id been all depressed and crying i thought 'fuck it' and called him..he invited me round and came to pick me up.. when he dropped me off i begged him to 'not leave it a week again', but that was last friday and yet again no call..
the thing is when we're with eachother its the best feeling in the world, hes so lovely he was talking of us going for weekends away together and evrything
when im with him im the happiest ever, but then i always end up facing a week of depression because i miss him and im coming to the conclusion that hes not missing me.
im good mates with a few of his mates, and when we're all high having heart to hearts they say how much of a cool girl i am, how much this lad likes me and its good that i 'give him space'..
the things i want to know are is this normal behaviour for a lad? should i just ring him all the time instead of waiting? if i tell him how much im missing him wont he get 'scared off'? does he just not like me and im not getting the hint?
any response would be hugely welcomed and sorry this is so long! xx

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You're being very clingy. Stop it.

    Men don't tend to do the phone thing all that well, and certainly don't think anything of not ringing for a few days.

    Don't chase him all the time, for the simple reason that it will make him lazy.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Kermit wrote:
    Men don't tend to do the phone thing all that well, and certainly don't think anything of not ringing for a few days.

    Agreed. I barely ring anyone ever. I much prefer texting. Or MSN. Are the rest of you guys the same?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    sounds to me like hes fucking you about really, just leave it for him to ring you and see how long it takes, and when he asks you to come around say your busy but your free on such and such a day, don't be his doormat there when he needs you.
    And im terrible for ringing people regularly I will happily not speak to someone for a few weeks and not think nothing of it.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I agree with all comments here.

    Me and the boy talk on the phone maybe once a week. Its usually me ringing him, but he asks me to call, and vice versa.

    It could be that, or he could be screwing you around. I think you should talk to him, and maybe make a deal of him calling you at least once a week.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    yeah thanks everyone, maybe i am being a bit too paranoid about how much he calls, none of us have mobiles so its not an option to text,.. but i think the issue with me is that i really, really like this lad and cant stop thinking about him ( i wont mention the 'L' word even though i think it is..) whereas i feel like i dont cross his mind for weeks, which is why i get depressed. Surely if he liked me he'd call? then again when he's with me he's always assuring me how much he cares about me AAARGH my head is fucked up!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i dont think she's been clingy!! she jsut misses him and wants to talk to him i think you two should realy get moblies thou lol
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    [girl offering something as well]

    i dont think hes worth all this deppression and stuff. And maybe its the age difference too? u said u were 16 and he was 19, right? since u seem to be a little younger then him, he might just not see u as a top priority right now. if he doesnt call u, thats nothing to be deppressed about, my mom always told me not to go begging to anyone [especially a guy]. and that means calling them and stuff, if u think this might be getting to the L' word then ur wrong missy. i've had bfs like this, where im 16 and hes 18 and i ALWAYS had to be the one calling..and he made me feel like shit when he wouldnt call, but then when i was with him i felt like he was the one. well...lets just say after he was out of my life i felt like a dumbass for letting him play me like that. i'll admit it, i thought i was in love, but i was naive..still am btw but not as much as before.:)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    well i'm a girl too and i dont understand guys behaviour either but is it possible that he doesnt realise how it makes you feel when he doesnt contact you for a week? maybe he is thinking about you, its just that guys are crap at calling and he doesnt know that you interpret it as he is not thinking of you. is there any way you could speak to him about it without doing the whole nagging 'you never call me' thing but just mentioning it would be nice to know he was thinking of you. or when he does call, tell him how much you love it when he calls you, might encourage him to do it more, i dont know.

    I read somewhere that some study found when girls text a guy they expect a reply within about 15 mins but guys think an ok reply time is 48 hours :s so maybe they just have different ideas on communicating than girls do.

    I see lots of people replied that you should back off and wait for him to call you.. does that really work? guys on here, if your girl who normally calls you a lot just stopped and waited for you to call, what would you think? would you get the hint and call her more often?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
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  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    My boyfriend doesn't like telephoning either, which suits me fine! I'm not keen on them really.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    aahh cheers everyone, 'specially sophia,intrepide and esa..
    the deal now is that im going to brighton for a couple of days tomorrow to just clear my head and get away from it all..
    if he rings then( he usually rings about a week and a half from the last time i see him) then il have a chat but im going to ask him to meet me so i can talk to him ( we have this cute little spot on a giant log where no one else goes)..
    he could either be fucking me around, doesnt like me much and isnt too bothered OR he just doesnt grasp how much i like him and is just a bit casual(after all boys are like a different species to girls)
    when i get back from brighton im going to meet up with him, bite the bullet and do the scariest thing ever.. as it will have been 2 weeks since we last spoke im just going to calmy ask him if he wants to see me again or not, and talk things out.. if he says no, which is likely, then il be devastated but its better then waiting around for weeks crying.
    to 'prepare myself' for the dumping which im sort of arranging ive just spent the past week doing stuff with mates and all different friends,, and then friday and saturday i have a free house so im just guna party! im just trying to show myself that there i can have a life without him.. but hopefully we'll work it out.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    dont sit at home crying and feeling depressed waiting for him too phone you, go out and have a good time!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    that sounds like a great idea, hope u have lots of fun!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I remember feeling exactly like this with my ex of three years when we were suddenly thrown into a long distance situation and would only see each other once every two weeks.

    As Sophia has said, you need to adapt to the fact he's different to you. I was texting and ringing my ex quite often because I missed him so much but he only wanted to talk to me every couple of days.

    Also, go out and have fun. The worst thing you can do is sit and home and mope.
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