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Engagement

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Whats the right age to get engaged? For the bloke and for the girl?

Also does the ring have to be gold or can it be silver/plantinum?

Do girls like an expensive ring or one that they have chosen and that they link?

And finnaly, how long would you say is a good time to be with each other before you get engaged?

Thanxs

Adam ~ <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/wink.gif"&gt;

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    theres no right age to get engaged as most of the time it doesnt mean anything nemore, i know a lad of 13 who is supposedly engaged.

    as for the ring, i think its traditional for it to be gold and usually a girl hints at what rings she likes however, a suprise can also be good. if your plannin on asking a girl to get engaged and want to suprise her ask her closest mate who can hopefully help u out with a nice ring.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Age doesnt really matter, it's whenever it feels right. Rings traditionally are gold but find out what she likes. As for how long before engagment that depends on the realtionship and if you feel its right.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by *Groovaybaby*:
    Hey, It doesn't matter how old you are to get engaged a friend of mine just got engaged to a gril he's been going out with for 2 weeks (he's 15!)


    Bloody hell, I bet he hasnt bought a ring though has he ??
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by *Groovaybaby*:
    Hey, It doesn't matter how old you are to get engaged a friend of mine just got engaged to a gril he's been going out with for 2 weeks (he's 15!)


    I don't know whether the fact their 15 or been together for two weeks before getting "engaged" sounds more unbelieavable. I have strong views about marriage and the ceremony and so doing stuff like that makes a mockery of the whole system.

    I believe couples who think they will be getting married in the future should get engaged and not some immature 15 yr olds. Sorry if that sounds harsh.



    [This message has been edited by Rude not to (edited 29-10-2001).]
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    im almost 17 my boyf is 19 + me parents think that it is ridiculous i wannna marry him when im 18! but i love him
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by weaversgal:
    theres no right age to get engaged as most of the time it doesnt mean anything nemore.

    a tad pessimistic perhaps? friend of mine, got together with this guy, they didnt spend a single day apart for almost a month. then, for one day they had to go different places, and the next day her b/f said he couldnt stand the thought of being without her, and proposed. real romantic with a ring and everything (it was silver, fyi). he's 19, she's 17, they're gonna do one of those extended engagement type things. mind you, he moved in with her a few weeks ago (they've been goin out for about 4 months now). innit sweet!! they are just the cutest couple ever, and when joanne talks about her 'fiancé' it kinda reminds you that getting engaged really does mean somethin special.

    "we have intercourse in every direction" - Karl Marx, The Communist Manifesto (honest!!)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    maybe there is still hope 4 me!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I think to get engaged at an early age is a mistake.

    Although you may love your partner and cannont stand the thought of life without them there is a few things to think of.

    1.How many times do you see people falling head over heels in love and then spltting up over someit stupid?

    2.if your partner is a student what happens if they have to move uni?

    3. Ask yourself is getting engaged a sign of your love and devotion and thoughts of marridge? or just for show?

    I think you should leave getting engaged until at least your ready to settle down with this person so mayb after 2or3yrs into the relationship.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Im a Uni student and my bloke is at home. He keeps bringing up the idea of engagements but i tell him not to even ask. When you r at uni u have enough trouble with things like home sickness that it would make it worse. I am 19 and i fully intend to marry my boyfriend at some point in the future but why rush into it. If he loves u then he's not going anywhere. If u really love each other then you don't need a ring to prove it
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Dont worry about the age. I am now 18 and got engaged when i was 17. Age does not mater. As long as it feels right and you know the person then go for it. But dont get engaged a month after going out with some one. You dont know them yet. Make sure you have been with the person for a while so you know them properly.

    It is tradition for it to be gold but it doesnt have to be. Go into a jewelers and speak to some one.

    Any way look after your self and I hope you make the right desision.

    Good luck

    dazed and confused
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i think marriage is the biggest farce known to man. possibly along with relgion.

    If there's anything more important than my ego around here, i want it caught and shot now
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I know this is me being the hopeless romantic here, it doesn't matter what age you are as long as you both feel that the lust has worn off and you truly love each other, too many marriages are based on feelings that can't last.

    (I'd go 4 white-gold n' diamonds, or just one really big one)

    You messin wi' me pal????

    [This message has been edited by Chevalier (edited 01-11-2001).]
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Chevalier:
    I know this is me being the hopeless romantic here

    But fraser, sweetie, we know you're a hopeless romantic.

    :P

    Just marry when you feel ready.
    It may be for some, not for others. I doubt it would be for me (as I only believe in love between friends, not in the romantic sense) but it may be for others (like fraser, if they make it legal).

    Just do like you believe. If you are really ready, it shouldnt matter what age you are. You control your own destiny.

    As for the ring thing, its just a symbol to prove devotion (I refuse to call it something I dont believe in). Thats what counts. The Promise.

    Gabrielle
    xxx

    Carve your name into my arm, instead of stressed I lie here charmed
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Turtle:
    i think marriage is the biggest farce known to man.


    Im actually a hopeless romantic myself but recently i've begun to think that too turtle.


    ~Dreamer

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Gabz:


    I doubt it would be for me (as I only believe in love between friends, not in the romantic sense) but it may be for others (like fraser, if they make it legal).


    [/B]

    Slight hint of pessimism Gabz????

    and just thought you'd bring gay marriage into the equation, huh




    You messin wi' me pal????
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru

    There was an old theory that the ideal age for the lady is half the man's age plus 7 years, though how and why this theory comes about is a mystery........
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Well I am 19 and I got engaged to my boyfriend on last Christmas Day. To be honest I am a little wary of the whole thing, it puts a lot more pressure on the relationship. Although I love him loads, we are not planning to get married until at least when I finish uni. My friend got engaged before me and I did think it was a bit silly but I don't think you can judge until you are in that situation.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru



    There is no right or wrong age to get engaged, although it helps if you're a little older than say, your teens(15 or so) as at this age you're still maturing,and don't quite know what you want etc.al.

    Traditionally, the engagement ring is gold, but it can be made from anything,as it's the thought that counts. (Mine is white gold) my fiancé's best friends fiancee chose it, I had no idea it was coming.

    As for the time you've been together, that also doesn't matter. So long as you love eachother enough to realise that getting engaged means getting married, and spending the rest of your lives together, spending 24/7 with each other for always, and belonging to each other and nobody else(sexually,emotionally,etc.) for always, then great.
    It's a big step, I only wish you well in whatever you choose to do, and hope you think it through all the way.

    <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"&gt;
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Chevalier:
    Slight hint of pessimism Gabz????

    and just thought you'd bring gay marriage into the equation, huh


    Me? Pessimistic? Never.
    And hey, if gay people want to get married why not? Surely you agree with me here Fraz

    Carve your name into my arm, instead of stressed I lie here charmed
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    just to give a personal view, I got engaged a month ago. I am 20 and my fiance is 27. We have been together for about 2 and a half yrs (bit better than 2 weeks!). We have been living together for about a year, which i think is essential to get to know someone properly. U dont want to commit your life to a man who never does the dishes or cant make toast without help!

    My ring is silver with a wee, tiny diamond in it, and i picked it myself. we dont have much money so it wasnt expensive but i dont think it has to be as it is only a symbol at the end of the day. if ur girlfriend doesnt wear a lot of gold, dont get her gold, or if she doesnt like jewellrey get her something simple.

    Good luck if u do pop the question! I hope u are as happy as we are.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I don't think there is a right age to get engaged as such, but i think leaving it until you are at least 20, even if you think you are sure is sensible, because you are still maturing and changing.

    The ring can be whatever you want, a suprise is nice, if you're thinking about getting engaged you should know her taste pretty well. White gold works well instead of silver, its that bit more special. It doesn't have to be very expensive, but it should be the only one she gets if you are serious, so it should be special.

    I think you should have been together at leadt a year or so before thinking about etting engaged, so you know it is love and not that you just think it is... lust can fade and then you feel stuck. I know some people have got engaged after whirlwind relationships and stayed together and are still in love so it depends on the person.

    I got engaged when i was 18, i had been going out with him 6 months, I was convinced it was going to last, then i went to uni and just started feeling trapped. I was maturing and realising that my fiance wasn't the bloke for me, we had less and less in common. This won't happen to everyone obviously but you have to bare it in mind, you don't really know what you want when you are young. We split and I am now madly in love with my boyfriend, but we haven't discussed marriage and won't for a long time yet. I want to be 100% sure next time cos marriage is sacred.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    well, i'll tell yopu guys what happned i my personaly experience, eh? I got engaged about, oooooh, 6-7 odd months ago now? im 16, and i'd known my girlfriend for 3 years, and been "with her" for 10 months at that point. at the 14 months mark, she decided she didnt love me anymore, and wanted to leave me. can't say it didnt leave me heartbroken. i dont see that as wasting an engagement, or something, because it meant something to me. I was extremely serious about being with this girl forever, of course, we wouldent be getting married untill after a live-in spell. this was agreed. hope this sheds another angle on the whole thing.
    kie xxx

    .:*~we're all heterosexual by default~*:.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Gabz:
    Me? Pessimistic? Never.
    And hey, if gay people want to get married why not? Surely you agree with me here Fraz


    Shut it weirdo, of course I do I am G A Y sadgirl not just savin myself for you.

    <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/tongue.gif"&gt;




    And he seemed like such a nice boy
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