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Does the nerd ever get the girl?

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  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    LacyMay wrote:
    Aww Screech. His nerdness was just like so cool.
    If Screech didn't try and pretend to be someone he wasn't, he'd have a chance. Besides that, did any of the girls in Saved By The Bell have any sort of personality to speak of? The last time I watched that show, I was about ten, and even then it was apparent to me that these girls wouldn't be worth knowing.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Who gives a toss about personality when they've got a nice rack?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    My ex of 3 years was a proper nerd so yes, nerds are capable of getting the girls.

    Although I was never initially attracted to my ex, it was his personality that I was drawn to.

    He was very outgoing, very loud, he was the ringleader of groups and he was very confident. I was drawn to this side of him. Everyone loved him because he had such a good sense of humour. He made everyone laugh.

    This overshadowed the fact he was a complete geek! I think its his personality that gets him the girls to be honest...
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Shitehawke wrote:
    thing is tho (and i know this is very unusual) i dont wanna just get laid, i wont deny that it aint in my mind but i want something a little more meaningfull than that, casual sex appart form the thrill and enjoyment of the experience does nothing for me, i dont feel better afterwards or like ive achieved anything

    Question: When you do meet a girl, say at college or work or wherever, are you able to start conversations with them, ask them out etc, but then always end up as the friend and never the boyfriend?

    Because I'm the same. I'd rather get to know a girl first, so that it's not just some casual thing. But I find the longer you wait, the harder it gets to make your move. And also the more likely it is you'll get 'friend zoned.'
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I'm not sure that you can blame your lack of girlyness action on being a nerd or geek or whatever.

    There are plenty of girls out there with similiar interests to you.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    LacyMay wrote:
    I'm not sure that you can blame your lack of girlyness action on being a nerd or geek or whatever.

    There are plenty of girls out there with similiar interests to you.

    well i wish i could find one lacy may i really do, i dont dress like a nerd in answer to an earlier post, i do however get friend zoned, i think girls see me as very safe.

    im semi outgoing, i can be loud, im very friendly with people and find it easy to talk to everyone unless i have romantic feelings towards them even if i just slightly fancy them i get all shy and paranoid.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You get friend zoned if you never flirt or show a sexual side.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Geeks are hot.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
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  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    my.php?image=simonyd0.jpg

    phwoar :heart:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You don't need similar interests to get along with girls. Similar experiences help for stuff to talk about, and maybe a couple of things you both like, but generally, I find I prefer girls who are quite a bit different to me. Ironically, I find that it tends to give you more to talk about.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    SophiA wrote:
    :yes: Definitely! I've got a real thing for geeks :heart:
    What exactly is a geek?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    stargalaxy wrote:
    What exactly is a geek?

    Cue about 462175465 pictures of beardy looking blokes in bands who're flavour of the month because geek chic is in, apparently.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Bri-namite wrote:
    Cue about 462175465 pictures of beardy looking blokes in bands who're flavour of the month because geek chic is in, apparently.
    Men with beards are all geeks? I never knew Pavarotti was a geek... :p
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I don't think not 'getting the girl' can simply be put down to being a 'nerd', as others have said, but putting yourself into that box doesn't help.
    From being a geeky girl I can see the situation, both from your perspective and the girls who you consider potential girlfriends. I sympathise with how hard it can be to pluck up the courage to talk to and then chat up someone who you really like as I myself find it very hard. If you're shy it's much easier to just stay in that comfort zone of being friends and simply wait for the other person to do all the work because you're too nervous or to assume that they won't want to be anything more than friends.
    But, like other people have said if you sit back and don't act then you are labelled as a friend permanently. One of my guy friends, who you would say is a typical geek had the same problem as you; the only girls he ever developed feelings for were friends and by the time he'd gotten round to telling them how he felt he'd already been "friend zoned". I'd been good friends with him for about a year when I discovered he had feelings for me and it pretty much ruined our friendship. To me he'd always been just a good friend, the guy who I could watch Doctor Who with and geek out about LOTR and Star Wars with. It made me extremely uncomfortable around him and didn't do much for his confidence. Soon enough someone else came along for him and now he's really happy with her. Though they were both very shy they managed to pluck up enough courage to take their relationship further.
    Perhaps trying to change your attitude toward girls that you fancy might work; try not to see them as potential serious relationship material. I've found the best way of getting to know someone who you are attracted to is to not have any expectations of what might be, then you can be pleasantly surprised or not have to face any major disappointment. Perhaps try to smile and flirt more, pay them a bit more attention, if you need more advice and ideas then you can go to the advice pages; Here is an article about first conversations which might be of help.
    Take care,
    x
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I wish I had a geek of my very own. :(

    Yes they get the girl, but you need to wash your hair and make a bit of an effort first. :D
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Kermit wrote:
    You get friend zoned if you never flirt or show a sexual side.

    Thats exactly right.

    Geek or no geek if your like the above then no girls gonna wanna get on you.

    Maybe thats why shyer/not as confident people find that this happens to them more often, don't have the confidence to flirt etc.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It does not matter in the slightest if you read fantasy or play RPGs, but how do you think you can show a woman "choose me", when you cannot really converse with her, because you are too shy, and generally make the impression that girls are a different species (what they really are, but christ! don't show it).

    And If you improve in all of these issues, then you are me,

    and probably won't get any either, like me.

    so good luck!
  • SkiveSkive No discipline. No morality. No respect. New ForestPosts: 15,169 Skive's The Limit
    Kermit wrote:
    You get friend zoned if you never flirt or show a sexual side.

    :yes:
    Yesterday is history
    Tomorrow is a mystery
    But today is a gift
    That’s why it’s call the present
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    SophiA wrote:
    :yes: Definitely! I've got a real thing for geeks :heart:
    I've just finished building my new computer. :flirt:

    I think when you look at the stereotypical geek activities and interests, there's not much there that emphasises the qualities that women tend to look for in men. Of course different people go for different things, but there are certain qualities that most women would find more attractive. So if you have no other qualities that women like, or at least never show them, then the chances are few people will find you attractive. The other possibiliy is that some girls will find you cute. I get that occasionally, and it's really irritating, because it's always either the loudmouth bints or women in their 40's. One of the main reasons why I always make sure I'm the one doing the chatting up nowadays.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Kermit wrote:
    You get friend zoned if you never flirt or show a sexual side.

    If a girl flirts with me, I can flirt back no probs. But it's initiating the flirting that I find hard.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I wish I had a geek of my very own. :(

    Yes they get the girl, but you need to wash your hair and make a bit of an effort first. :D

    I, er, used to like Babylon 5. And I washed my hair less than 12 hours ago. ;)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    im the same jack i can flirt back and then after a bit get to bring this girl into my comfort zone and so flirt with her freely but its that initiation i just cannot do, i dont know where to begin, if i even start a voice appears in the back of my head screaming OMFG you want her she knows it its written in ink all over your face sit down and shuttup before you make an arse of yourself. and im no good with touching either i can reciprocate but not initiate.

    my main problem is i meet most girls at work when im horribly sober, when ive had a drink (not when im pissed but just after a pint or 2) i loosen right up and my comfort zone grows a million miles and i can do anything or talk to anyone, but because i only generally see them at work i dont see them when drunk :(
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    geek girls are cute and hot. i'd snap me one up any day. especially black thick rimmed glasses - chic hotness!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    How cool is this website. http://www.rent-a-nerd.ca/

    Genius marketing. Maybe we could answer the question by finding out how many hen-nights they get booked out for.:chin:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    \
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I, er, used to like Babylon 5. And I washed my hair less than 12 hours ago. ;)
    :p haha.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I wish I had a geek of my very own. :(
    Me too! :(
    I :heart: geeks :yum:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I'm a total geek. I have nintendo t-shirts and everything. But I'm not the full blown Nerdlinger type, with trousers ending at my shins and I most certainly can't speak klingon.

    I don't exactly have a lot of success with women but that's a confidence thing. I've never felt that my hobbies have got in the way or anything like that. I've been told that my fan boy obsession with stuff is quite cute, so there you go.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Infinite wrote:
    and I most certainly can't speak klingon.
    .


    Oh :( I'm a little dissapointed.

    But back to the geeks ;) My boyfriend is... well more of a dork than a geek.

    All his friends are the same way. From what I've learned, hes never had a girl problem, his friends never seem to have problems finding women. Its not if your a geek or not. Its, as others have said, about how you present yourself, your confidence, about your personality. Even Steve Urkel got a girl ;)
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