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Heya Guys, I want your opionion!

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  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Young Proposals

    Two of my very close friends have been in an intimate relationship for four years, and another couple for two years.:love: They are all about 16 years of age.

    Just a few weeks ago, both relationships cracked, and although the former couples are no longer in an intimate relationship, there is no way that they will ever get back together.

    I don't see young engagement as such a bag thing, but if I were you I wouldn't start getting dress fittings quite yet. If you're not living together, if might be an idea to consider it now, so as if you do get married, is isn't too awkward.

    Good luck to the both of you. I hope you hold it out and become man and wife.:thumb: :wave:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I wouldnt rush into anything, u never know u might change as people as u get older and end up regretting it, if its meant to last, getting married in say 5 years time wont matter:)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Too young really. Like others have said, think of the difference between being 14 and 16.
    Well the difference (ie changes in you personally) between 16 and 18 are even greater.
    I think being engaged but waiting seems fair enough, but imo it's still a bit young to be engaged. Saying that a girl i went to school with who's 19 now has been with her husband for 7 years, and married for 3...so y'know...
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Heya Guys, jus a update on everything.
    About tht interview i had recently. Well good news i got the job and start last thursday. its goin really well.
    And me & Richie (bf) are gettin offically engaged at the end of the month.
    Our relationship is FANTASTICLY FABULOUS!!!!
    And im feelin over the moon tht he wants to marry me!

    Love *Sweet_Cheeks*

    xxxxxx
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    at 16 you still havent become who you are gonna be for the rest of your life yet, im not saying young marriages dont work but 9 times outta 10 people change, by all means get engaged but dont rush into the actual marriage thing for a few years yet, the thing you want more than anything in the world at 16 isnt the thing you want most at 21
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I laughed when my 17 year old friend told me she was getting engaged... 6 months down the line and he turned out to be a philandering prick and they broke up.

    So, to conclude. Don't get engaged.
  • SkiveSkive Posts: 15,282 Skive's The Limit
    So, to conclude. Don't get engaged.

    Why not just have a long engagement?
    Weekender Offender 
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    stargalaxy wrote:
    I don't understand why people are quite so critical of marriage at 16. My mum got married at that age, and has been with her husband now for 25 years. Just because someone marries young doesn't mean it's a bad thing.

    I think that your Mum has had a very happy exception to the rule .. its a bit like people who say smoking isn't bad for you 'cos their grandad smoked 60 a day and lived until he was 90.

    People change so much between 16 and 21, for instance. At 16, you still have so much to learn about life and have much personal growth to do that rushing into a marriage at such a young age can be more difficult in the long run. But, of course, not impossible.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    hm, as long as you don't expect to run off into the sunset and live happily ever after. You seem to have your head in the clouds a bit. Stay engaged for a few years and see what happens.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I personally wouldn't want to get married, or maybe engaged at the age I am now- 17. We've only been going out for 9 months, and I'm still learning things about him, and relationships, just would feel weird going into something I didn't know 100% about.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    say yes, have 10babies and live of benefits for the rest of your life. call your babies chardonnay, chantelle, britney etc.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    JJ69 wrote:
    say yes, have 10babies and live of benefits for the rest of your life. call your babies chardonnay, chantelle, britney etc.

    OMG how rude are you. listen has noone been reading the msgs i been adding.
    Me & mi boyfriend are goin 2 hav a long engagment as he wants me 2 complete my hairdressing course which will be completed when i'm 20.
    and listen JJ69 im never gunna live off the tax man & get benefits.i wanna have mi own bussiness had a salon ect... i wanna make summit outa miself thanks. and ye im onli 16 but i wanna make summit outta miself and live a fantastic life. have children one day and live a fantastic married life but i dnt wanna get married til im about 21 so can ppl stop finkin i wanna get married at 16 coz i dnt jus because me and mi boyfriend are gettin engaged at the end of the month does mean we wanna get married straight away.. we both wanna makes sure we're both in stably jobs and have a house before we marry!

    Love *Sweet_Cheeks*

    xxxx
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    stargalaxy wrote:
    I don't understand why people are quite so critical of marriage at 16. My mum got married at that age, and has been with her husband now for 25 years. Just because someone marries young doesn't mean it's a bad thing.

    All kind of stuff happens in this world. I don't say rely on statistics, but it might be significant how many wedlocks endure the years, with a marriage that young compared to any when you are at least 18, can make 100% of your own decision, and lived with him longer than 'only' two years.

    Looking through the pink sunglasses is one thing, being happy with the decision in the aftermath is another.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    What do your parents think of this?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Such negativity. I actually think it sounds like you have your head screwed on and are making sensible decisions such as having a long engagement and getting some equity behind you before you marry. Things might change during your engagement, of course; but they might not, at least you're giving the relationship time to settle into a new phase rather than hurtling down the aisle at break-neck speed.

    Generally speaking, of course most of us don't/won't marry the person we're in love with at 16, but some people do... and even if it does end badly two/five/ten years down the line it doesn't mean it was a wrong decision. Even if it was, life's a learning curve and there are no ages at which it's sensible and proper to get engaged... and at which it's not.

    Take your time and enjoy both your youth and the relationship; but congratulations to you both! :D
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    rude?

    ok, sweet cheeks , im not being rude. Im presenting a scenario that often happens to young people when they take the jump too soon. Im not saying thats what will happen but it DOES happen. many young peoples lives are ruined because they jump into something they are both not ready for and end up wrecking their life and possibly the life of a baby too.
    xxxx[/QUOTE]
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Technically you can't get married for a little while anyway.

    But anyway i'm not too sure on the age thing. I seem to remember in the last year of school, there were several girls that were "engaged". Ring and everything (myself included, god knows why). None of them are together anymore.

    I'd wait and see how it pans out. People grow up and grow apart sometimes.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Well, I think everyone is being pretty harsh - yes, 16/17 is young but it's your life and you should do what you think is right. If it's a mistake, it's a mistake, but you'll find out sooner or later. Before I read the rest of the thread, I was going to say that you should maybe get engaged and then wait a few years before actually getting married, which is exactly what you're doing, so I say congratulations, and I wish you a wonderful life together.

    You're not clouded with bizarre expectations of 'well, we love each other, everything else will sort itself out' - generalising a massive amount, but that's the kind of situation that would result in 10 kids and living on the dole or whatever the scenario was. You have plans and ambition and if you two can support each other throughout all this and all your changes (since, after all, people change all throughout their lives, not just in their late teens) then all power to you.

    Congratulations again.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    LacyMay wrote:
    Technically you can't get married for a little while anyway.

    I got told a while back that a 16 year old could get married, but had to have the permission of their parents?:confused:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Sofie wrote:
    I got told a while back that a 16 year old could get married, but had to have the permission of their parents?:confused:

    I thought it was 17 but think your right.

    How many parents are gonna give permission to that though!?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Aye, you can get married at 16 with parental permission, but would you let your 16-year-old get married?

    Original poster: I wish you well, and although I don't see the point of long engagements, I really hope you are still together when you're 21. It's not likely, but it does happen, and it could happen for you.

    But don't let any of this stop you from living your formative years the way you want to. You'll know what I mean if it ever happens. I've known a lot of people make that mistake.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i asked a girl to marry me when i was 17, she said yes...now 4 years later...i havent seen for 3 years.
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