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How do you...

...stop thinking about someone that you really really like who doesn't like you back?

How do you stop having feelings for them and make them go away?

How do you stop wanting them more than just a friend?

GAH.
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Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Cu contact with them for a bit and see if that works. (for me, that's only worked once; and that was when he was away for 3 months)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I don't want to though.

    I need them so much as a friend right now.

    Its just driving me insane. I'm sick of crying over them. I'm sick of wanting them.

    I just wish that I never experienced anything "more than friends" with them because all its done is make me crave more because I've never been treated like that before.

    He means so much to me and its killing me knowing I can't be with him.

    I don't even understand it because this has never happened to me. I don't understand why I still like him.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I know its a really horriable feeling.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You have to accept it and move on. It's nothing more simple and complex than that.
  • littlemissylittlemissy Posts: 9,972 Supreme Poster
    *Stacey* wrote:
    I don't want to though.

    Then you obviously don't want to stop thinking about them, you don't want to stop wanting them as more than a friend.

    Unfortunately, you can't have it both ways. You have to decide what you really want :(
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    the best way is to stop going to the places where you two use to go, it will bring back memorys that you might rather forget. Dont see him as much, and dont have as much contact with him as you use to. I dunno if it works cause im starting to do this with my ex and it gets better and better each day.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    the best way is to stop going to the places where you two use to go, it will bring back memorys that you might rather forget. Dont see him as much, and dont have as much contact with him as you use to. I dunno if it works cause im starting to do this with my ex and it gets better and better each day.

    :yes: And Mist is right - you have to try and move on.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Just indulge in someone else's attention. It's not as though you CAN'T get it. You do have a mirror, don't you? :razz:

    Feel better.
  • **helen****helen** Deactivated Posts: 9,235 Supreme Poster
    Hi Stacey,
    I'm sorry to hear that this situation is getting you down.

    Take a look at our article on unrequited love which I hope will help you to understand your feelings for this guy.

    Take care and I hope things work out with you and your friend ;)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    *Stacey* wrote:
    I don't even understand it because this has never happened to me. I don't understand why I still like him.


    People often want what they can't have .. and not getting it makes them want it more.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    *Stacey* wrote:
    ...stop thinking about someone that you really really like who doesn't like you back?

    How do you stop having feelings for them and make them go away?

    How do you stop wanting them more than just a friend?

    GAH.

    hi stacey, it sounds like youre in exactly the same position as me, or not far off. however a big problem with mine is that i cannot avoid her because she works with me. bah.

    but as people have already suggested, focus your attention on somebody else and just get your mind of this person, its for the best or you will end up in a pit.

    good luck, let us know how you get on (i am intrigued...)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    1983 wrote:
    Just indulge in someone else's attention. It's not as though you CAN'T get it. You do have a mirror, don't you? :razz.
    I talk to myself enough already :p

    Littlemissy and Mist, how do you manage to post at the same time when you live in the same house? Do you both have a computer or something? Just wondering like :p

    I can easily avoid this boy, I'm just choosing not to I suppose.

    I know deep down he's NEVER EVER going to want me yet I'm finding it very hard to let go of the hope that one day he might want me.

    He doesn't know this like.

    I don't even know why I'm like this. I don't know. I suppose its something to do with the fact he treated me really well and made me feel special and well, after coming out of a 3 year relationship that made me very unhappy, I suppose it overwhelmed me. Being with him made me happy.

    I'm just incredibly unhappy right now and its doing my nut in. I honestly don't think these feelings are going to go away.
  • littlemissylittlemissy Posts: 9,972 Supreme Poster
    *Stacey* wrote:
    Littlemissy and Mist, how do you manage to post at the same time when you live in the same house? Do you both have a computer or something? Just wondering like :p

    Yes :D

    Edit: It would be more exciting if I said I had travelled back in time to post. But that would've been a lie :yes:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hey, I'm really sorry that you're in this situation, believe me when I say I know how you feel. Though you feel awful and heartbroken now, in time you will get over him and move on. Having feelings for a friend (and falling in love with them) when they don't feel the same way is an awful situation to be in. I've just gotten over my feelings for one of my best friends; although it took a few months I'm over him and the feeling of release is wonderful. If I can get through it then I'm sure that you can :yes:.
    I know other people have said that you should cut contact with him but you say that you can't? I know how hard it can be when you want to speak to them or seem them so badly. Perhaps just try to avoid him for a week, maybe take a couple of days just to sort out your feelings. As Helen said, you might want to have a look at the unrequited love article.
    Have you spoken to any of your other friends about how you feel? Talking can really help, just don't sit at home alone. You might not want to straight away but getting out and about and getting on with your life will make you feel much better.
    Really, you can get over it, the heartache won't last as long as you think, soon enough it will fade.
    Good luck and take care,
    xx
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    *Stacey* wrote:
    I know deep down he's NEVER EVER going to want me yet I'm finding it very hard to let go of the hope that one day he might want me.

    He doesn't know this like.

    One way that helps is to tell him how you feel. It's the only way that you'll ever know for certain whether it could have been or not... and hearing that it's never going to be is a quick, relatively painless way of extinguishing that remaining tiny hope. People always worry that it'll jeopardise the friendship but my friends and I are quite pro at this now and no friendships have suffered as a result. My experience is honestly that if it's a good friendship, there won't be a problem. After all, when you tell someone you really like them, enough to want them to be your special someone, it's giving them the biggest compliment you possibly could. And if that makes them feel weird about you, then what does that say about them?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    wildchild wrote:
    My experience is honestly that if it's a good friendship, there won't be a problem.
    Exactly. Very true. When I told my best friend he was very sweet about it and though he didn't feel the same way he did everything he could to make me feel better and show how much I meant to him, no matter that he didn't have the same feelings for me as I had for him. From my own experience and what others have said if you really are good friends if anything, it will make your friendship stronger.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    *Stacey* wrote:
    ...stop thinking about someone that you really really like who doesn't like you back?

    How do you stop having feelings for them and make them go away?

    How do you stop wanting them more than just a friend?

    GAH.

    Feelings for people can definately go away believe me I make it happen all the time. You can make feelings go away very easily, maybe you can forget about that person. Just dont think about them believe me, your making yourself think about them.

    You can stop wanting them as a friend if you tell yourself that, it will never be more than just friends. And and start liking someone else. I believe like and love are all in the head, you can make yourself like, or love someone. You can also make yourself obsessed over a person. So just do that, but do it with someone that you actually have a chance with
    .
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Tell them how you feel...make SURE you do...

    I didn't tell the girl I'm with now that I was madly in love with her while we were friends for nearly a year, and it drove me insane. I told her, and she said she felt the same way six months earlier...

    We were both feeling the same, and didn't know it at all... and we're still together after a year. :)

    So, tell them, even if it fails, even if you feel like you can't take this kind of rejection, take a chance, if you don't, you're always going to wonder, and think back on how things could have been different. Maybe they feel the same way.
    :thumb:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    *Stacey* wrote:
    ...stop thinking about someone that you really really like who doesn't like you back?

    How do you stop having feelings for them and make them go away?

    How do you stop wanting them more than just a friend?

    GAH.

    The best thing ive heard of for me was the GSTOHW (go shag ten other hot women) theory. Just change the shag to a kiss and the w to an m and you should be sorted. As soon as you realsie other people are perfect in their own way..if you get me, single people seem less fantastic.
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