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Heartbroken.....still?

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
in Sex & Relationships
i started seeing a guy that was four years younger than me....me being quite mature even for my 22 years, i think i should've known better. i'vv never felt so attracted to a guy i was seeing n pretty soon i was more hooked than i shud've been.this guy had some major baguage hanging over him...like he still wasnt completely over his ex (they'd gone out for abt four years!!)..although he claimed he cudnt stand her (she dumped him n went out with one of his mates)
.....im away for the summer..three whole months...i told him to tell me if he wanted to see other ppl and that id understand....he said he wudnt jus start liking someone else...again my mistake for beliving him!
last week i found out he'd been shagging his ex...i dunno how long after i left, i think it was abt 2 weeks after i left! he never told me...i was absolutely heartbroken..this week i was fine..
but then i saw a message from his so called ex..but now i think girlfriend...on his homepage...i thought i was fine..but i cant help being heartbroken all over agen....what the hell is wrong with me? he is scum...i know it...but i cant help it....
i dont want to go bak n bump into them...together....or even jus him...im not mad at her...im not mad at him...i jus dunno y he didnt tell me..i wud've understood that he cudnt let her go....

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Well hugs to you. Yeah these type of things really are shit. This guy really does sound like he's not worth it. You deserve better then that. But i guess my words don't help how you feel. I'm going through the same kinda feeling at the minute and yeah it is horrible but im 100% sure that i will to feel better and you will too. Its gonna hurt for abit but it will get better.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I think some guys just don't understand the 'talking' bit, like he could have just let you down gently and said he still wasn't over his ex, but no, he just did exactly what he wanted when he wanted to do it. People like that only think of themselves.

    I know everyone will say he's not worth it and you're lucky to be rid of him, but sometimes it just feels like you wish they were all wrong! But it's true. This guys doesn't sound like he's worth worrying over. Time is the answer. Just try to keep yourself busy, and block him out your life.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    He obviously wasn't over his ex at all, and I wouldn't expect him to have been.

    The opportunity came to patch things together, and unfortunately your feelings were less important than those of the girl he'd been with four years.

    It's not crime of the century, and really you should have expected him to not be over his ex.

    Rest assured that it wasn't that he hated you, its just that you never have the same feelings for someone after four weeks that you do after four years.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    hm, i'm maybe wrong, but it looks to me like you're nothing but a colateral victim in this story...
    if he was with that girl so long, and she dumped him becouse of another guy... hm.. and he is four years younger...

    this is my scenario:
    he still loves her, and never stoped...
    the best way to make himself interesting to her is to find another girl. and as he is 18, 22 yrs old girl is the best choice!
    i can't guess whether he believed in renaissance of their relationship or he just wanted to take a vangeance to her at the moment he started with you, but i don't believe he loved you at all...
    if he was, he would stop seeing her at all... epecially because of the way their relationship ended at first time...
    sorry....
    :(

    ps. sorry for my bad eng
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i knew that he'd never really care for me the way he did about her...i told him i didnt expect him to..
    the thing is he was after me for one whole year...n actually got mad at me for seeing someone else too before we started..
    n before i left i told him to tell me if wanted to start with anyone else agen...cos it was three months..n he's human after all!..he said he cudnt care abt anyne else so soon...
    n he shagged her the day i came home apprently...not two weeks after...

    i wasn't just collaterol (speelings?) damage.....he was just an asshole...thinknig only of himself...n trying to keep me as a backup plan if things didnt work with his ex..
    it doesnt help though...
    his hurt n pain with his ex doesnt justify him hurting me...n the fact that he's 18 years n tounger than me is no excuse!
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