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how to deal with rape cases

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  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    so men make laws that suit men.
    Er, we know that Parliament is mostly filled with men, but to suggest that they make laws simply for their own sex is simply bizarre. Don't laws against sexual discrimination, for instance, blow your argument to shreds?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I can kinda see Sovereign's point, actually.

    As he's pointed out, until 1991 you could legally rape your wife. It wasn't parliament that changed that law, either, it was the House of Lords with R v X.

    Why would a Parliament prepared to keep a law like that on the statute books then be prepared to change the law to help women prove rape?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    no leading him on would be deciding the i will course of action then changing her mind. no those circumstances are not any justification for rape. and no most men arn't rapists and will seethe and walk away tsk tsk!

    phew, glad I asked nicely before a red rage response :D
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Bullshit.

    Really?

    So if the guy gets convicted she will become happy again? She will recover just like that?

    Is rape really that inconsequential?


    Maybe its just me, you apparently think differently..but I see rape as quite a big deal... :shrug: it has a hugely devastating effect on a woman...The damage gets done and wont be undone simply by throwing the guy in prison.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    We all need to be proactive rather than reactive.

    We need to stop the rapes from happening.
    Give better advice to women on how to protect themselves.
    Give free self defence classes.
    Advise women or men infact to not be alone at any time during a night out or in dangerous areas.
    Crackdown on rape drugs.
    Impose harsher sentences.

    I had a friend who was raped by a friend of her boyfriend. She could not prove in court that he did rape her. So we seeked him out and did what needed to be done. She never needed to know. I agree with Balddog, knowing it or him getting convicted wouldn't help her. She was distraught for ages. And the only help she got really is from us, her friends.
    Maybe there needs to be more available support to those who have been raped.
    And maybe, just maybe, society can stop treating people who've been raped as a guilty party.
    There's definitely room for improvement.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
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  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It's men who need to change their behaviour, not women. I agree totally with Sophia's point about limiting women in order to prevent rape. What is needed is a mass education programme so that men don't grow up having dangerous and chauvinistic attitudes enforced by society throughout their lives.
    :yes: and to stop it from being 'passed on', men who witness or suffer sexual abuse are much more likely to go on and commit a similar crime themselves
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    sophia wrote:
    I see what you mean about being proactive rather than reactive, and in general I'm in favour of the principle, but looking at your list, most of these things are about altering women's behaviour to stop rapes happening. I agree that what we need to do is stop rapes happening, but too often the only solutions we seem to generate are, telling women not to walk home late at night, teaching women how to protect themselves, which are important and have their place, but breed distrust and fear among women of men -- I for one am immediately jumpy if I happen to be walking alone and a man approaches me or walks behind me for a while, and 99 per cent of the time they're just ordinary nice men, who for my own safety and protection I have been taught to assume mean to rape me.

    Such solutions seem to take the fact of men raping women as unalterable, a given, something we can never change or do anything about -- after all, men will always rape, won't they? -- so to keep women safe the only thing we can do is alter their behaviour, which seems to me to be inadequate without some measures to try and prevent men from raping women in the first place.

    In an ideal world -- which this is not, but I see no reason why we can't strive towards it, even if we never get the whole way there -- women would be able to walk anywhere they liked, at any time, safe in the knowledge that no one will harm them and that no will be understood to always mean no.

    Clearly, strategies to prevent rapes happening need to teach women how to protect themselves -- but that's putting a plaster on the wound, treating the symptoms of the diesease rather than the disease itself -- it needs to occur in conjunction with the kind of tactics we're only just beginning to see now for the first time ever, which are targetted at altering men's behaviour. It seems to me the only reason we would not bother trying to stop men raping women is if we believe that rape is inevitable, something that will always occur, which I personally think is bollocks. I don't believe all men are rapists, and I know that we can reduce the numbers of men who are.

    First of all, i don't see where I said that we need to alter women's behaviour.
    In all my good will, I was actually thinking of how women can equip themselves better to defend themselves in case someone does try something.

    Who said that rape was inevitable?
    Who said that rapes will always occur?
    Who said all men were rapists?

    As for being jumpy walking down the street, that does not apply to women only, it applies to anyone, male or female. I myself, even though i can completely take care of myself am very self aware and very much aware of my surroundings if I am going home alone late at night.

    As for preventing men raping women, I assume you mean we have to identify men who are potential rapists, which is all good, but how are we exactly gonna do that? I don't get what you mean there...sorry.

    It's a nice ideal to have that we can all feel safe one day etc...but unfortunately we live in a real world where no one is completely safe and bad things can happen to anyone who turns out to be in the wrong place at the wrong time.
    It's men who need to change their behaviour, not women. I agree totally with Sophia's point about limiting women in order to prevent rape. What is needed is a mass education programme so that men don't grow up having dangerous and chauvinistic attitudes enforced by society throughout their lives.

    Excuse me, are you calling me dangerous and chauvinistic?
    I was brought up to respect women and men and treat anyone as I would like to be treated...
    I DO NOT need to change my behaviour. And why are you talking like a big majority of men are potentially rapists if not deviant?
    And also I can't see where you found Sophia's point of limiting women to prevent rape? Where did she say that? Where did I imply that?

    Where's this hate for men come from?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I was dismissing your assumption that once you have been raped your life is destroyed. It's incredibly patronising.

    It's men who need to change their behaviour, not women. I agree totally with Sophia's point about limiting women in order to prevent rape. What is needed is a mass education programme so that men don't grow up having dangerous and chauvinistic attitudes enforced by society throughout their lives.

    I think you'll find most men who would be considered as chauvinist by the feminist mindset are, in reality, highly protective of women and abhor rape as much as anyone else. Some guys are just sick fucks with no morals.

    Also slightly ironic you're having a go at chauvinist attitudes when sophie, with whom you "agree totally" displays a blatantly chauvinist avatar don't you think?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
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  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Do you want to be called dangerous and chauvinistic? Who the hell said you need to change your behaviour? If we take your suggestions as an example, would we be asking all women need to take steps to protect themself, or just the ones that don't already? The men who already realise that women are people too obviously don't need to change anything. Use a bit of common sense.

    You implied that women need to limit their behaviour by choosing examples that need them to change what they do and how they behave in order to remain 'safe' (although as the vast majority of rapes are carried out by either partners/spouses/family members or friends I don't think that this would make a huge amount of difference in the number of rapes carried out anyway). Women are not the rapists and women are not the attackers. Therefore why should it be women that change their behaviour?

    And I don't hate men. I just hate bigots.

    If you are asking me to use common sense, than you should do the same thing, no?
    I never implied women need to limit themselves or change their behaviour. Going back home in pairs or a taxi rather than alone is purely common sense.

    And I ask again, how you gonna identify potential rapists and "change" them?

    It's hard to have a discussion with someone who is not able to see both sides of the coin. That's the last thing I have to say about this.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
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