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Heya Guys, I want your opionion!

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Heya Guys,
Me and my boyfriend hav been together nearly 2 years now.
& hes recently popped the question! *Will you marry me?*! :heart:
And my answer is YES! Im 16 but 17 in 5 months, But dya think im to young?
We're really in love so what dya think ?

Give your opionions PLEASE!

Love *Sweet_Cheeks*

xxxxxxx
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Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Stay engaged 5 years and see.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    But dya think im to young?
    Yes.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Makoto wrote:
    Stay engaged 5 years and see.

    Yeah thanks thts good advice!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Too young. Try again when you're older.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I don't understand why people are quite so critical of marriage at 16. My mum got married at that age, and has been with her husband now for 25 years. Just because someone marries young doesn't mean it's a bad thing.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Tell him to ask you again in 5 years :thumb:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    stargalaxy wrote:
    I don't understand why people are quite so critical of marriage at 16. My mum got married at that age, and has been with her husband now for 25 years. Just because someone marries young doesn't mean it's a bad thing.

    but they're missing out on so much stuff relationship wise, aren't they?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    stargalaxy wrote:
    I don't understand why people are quite so critical of marriage at 16. My mum got married at that age, and has been with her husband now for 25 years. Just because someone marries young doesn't mean it's a bad thing.
    but more often than not, at 16 you don't really know what you're getting into
    one of my friends recently got engaged at 16 and it seemed more of a 'locking' the relationship cause my friend has had her fair share of guys, and when she gets bored shes straight with another guy. So it seemed like he was 'claiming' her. I might be wrong but they'd only been together 3 months and hardly knew each other. I just didn't see the need.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    To me being engaged would mean that you are both in a position in your lives where you can say that this is the person you want to spend the rest of your life with, and in a position where you are both ready to settle down. Obviously, everyone has their own idea's of what marriage is, but I think that's the general consensus.

    When you don't really know what direction both of your lives are going to take, then I think it can actually be detrimental to get engaged. You may then stop doing things that you want to do with your life, because you always have to consider the other person.

    I also think it's sometimes used, particularly among young people, as a way of strengthening the relationship, if you get what I mean. As in the person will be more likely to stay with them, and less likely to cheat if they're engaged rather than just together. When in reality, if the relationship isn't strong enough in the first place, then no title you give it will make any difference. Not saying this is what's going on here at all, just a thought.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I would at least wait till half way through college.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Heya Guys,
    Me and my boyfriend hav been together nearly 2 years now.
    & hes recently popped the question! *Will you marry me?*! :heart:
    And my answer is YES! Im 16 but 17 in 5 months, But dya think im to young?
    We're really in love so what dya think ?

    Give your opionions PLEASE!

    Love *Sweet_Cheeks*

    xxxxxxx


    Yes I do think you're both too young.

    look at this way do you look back and think you were different at age 14?

    cos at 18 you'll look back and think what you were like at 16 and realise how much you changed in 2 years

    Also biologically your brain isn't fully developted yet at age 16, the connections in your brain are sill networking and making new connections all the time so the way your brain works now isn't the way it wil work in 2 years time.

    You might for instance like chocolate icecream to day and in two years hate it.

    I for one never drunk tea and always hated olives, now I drink tea 1 to 3 times a day and love olives, you brain changes.

    So your taste in men might change as well in 2 years time.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    you're more or less exactly the same age as me, i just think you should wait till you have a better idea of what direction your life is going in e.g after you've finished education fully and have got a stable position in your life.
    I know my bf wanted to propose but i told him no - i don't need a ring on my finger to prove our relationship.
    btw...have you told parents/family?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    kaffrin wrote:
    Tell him to ask you again in 5 years :thumb:


    exactly. why rush things. if it's meant to be then he can ask you again when you're older and more financially able to be able to actually afford to get married. also you're only young, you'll change.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thats really sweet, and lovely that youre still in love after 2 years especially at your age. Its really nice that he wants you to know how commited he is to you, but id definitely have a long engagement rather than jumping into marriage. If its meant to be, then itll be worth the wait :yes:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i personally wouldnt do it that young, i think its a harsh decision to make when you havent even started your life so to speak, but i guess its down to personal thoughts.

    i also dont see the point when people get engaged who dont have any intentions of getting married, ive had friends who have got engaged and dont even know when they want to get married..whats the point...a relationship shouldnt need a ring to prove how strong it is.
  • **helen****helen** Deactivated Posts: 9,235 Supreme Poster
    Thats really sweet, and lovely that youre still in love after 2 years especially at your age. Its really nice that he wants you to know how commited he is to you, but id definitely have a long engagement rather than jumping into marriage. If its meant to be, then itll be worth the wait :yes:

    :yes: wise words from SCC. Why have a look at our article Ready or Not which might help you to decide whether or not you are making th right decision. I hope things work out for you :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thats really sweet, and lovely that youre still in love after 2 years especially at your age. Its really nice that he wants you to know how commited he is to you, but id definitely have a long engagement rather than jumping into marriage. If its meant to be, then itll be worth the wait :yes:

    Thats wat im going ta do i dnt wanna get married til im 21 n btw mi bf isnt the same age as me hes older!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thats wat im going ta do i dnt wanna get married til im 21 n btw mi bf isnt the same age as me hes older!

    Good plan. Well, personally I'm not a fan of long engagements, but they're a lot less final than a marriage. Waiting til you're 21 is a good idea.

    21 is still young, in the scheme of things, but I'd say if you're still with this guy then then you're onto a winner :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    yeah i think its too young. But yeah i do think a long engagement is a good idea if you REALLY love this guy - and can imagine spending the rest of you life with him.

    Im 16 and 17 in just under 2 months ( :D ) and personally i couldnt see myself gettin married that thought scares me - but thats my opinion! and also im not in a long term relationship. But i have seen relationships last longer then urs has been so far, and they have split up because they got bored of each other - so justbecause you have spent 2 years of your life with him, then it doesnt mean you can spend the rest of your life with him.

    However - i dont know you of your boyfriend so this is my opinion, if you feel yo can do it then go for it!! Though i do recommend a long engagement in that case!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    stargalaxy wrote:
    I don't understand why people are quite so critical of marriage at 16. My mum got married at that age, and has been with her husband now for 25 years. Just because someone marries young doesn't mean it's a bad thing.

    Not a bad thing?!! ermm look at her offspring!
  • **helen****helen** Deactivated Posts: 9,235 Supreme Poster
    jayjay620 wrote:
    Not a bad thing?!! ermm look at her offspring!

    How rude! Those are the kind of comments you can keep well and truly to yourself.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    its hard to tell at a young age if it'll work. People change so much and change their minds, or want to have more relationships.However, my grandma was about 20 when she got married, and has been married nearly 60 years now!
    My mums friend got married at 19 and they've been married nearly 25 years. It just depends, sometimes you're luckily enough to find the one straight away, but it seems most of the time you're not. Or you do but don't realise.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I know every situation is different although having been in the same situation I wouldn't say it is a wise thing to do. You are at an age where very shortly you will be entering a new chapter of your life. You will either be looking for your first job or possibly going to uni or college and you may even be leaving home or learning to drive. All of these things open up new things in your life and will inevitably widen or change your social circle, you will meet new people and the way you feel about your bf may change.

    I got engaged at 17 (she was 16 nearly 17) we had been together just short of a year when she said she wanted to get engaged after a lot of thought i went ahead with it. We were infatuated with eachother and spent most of our free time together and at first it felt like the right thing to do. After a year or so however things started to change I felt suffocated and isolated from my friends. I was looking at other girls, even ones who really weren't nearly as attractive as her, I had become sick of her but didn't want to admit it. I still cared for her very deeply but the spark was gone and I didn't really even want to sleep with her anymore.

    One night when i went out with my mates i ended up sleeping with another girl, the next day i felt awful and was sick with guilt. I eventually confessed to my gf who was devastated, however she forgave me and i made a big effort to gain back her trust, things were fine for a few months until she suddenly decided to end things (she had met someone else at uni) This time I was devastated and felt very alone as my neglected friends although supportive i could tell they knew I had been silly and had got too serious too young. We got back together a few times but it never felt right and I realised I had to end it completely. Things are now very bitter between us and we dont talk.

    If you do decide to continue to be engaged make sure you don't neglect your friends because they are more important at this stage of your life than a bf.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Dude. Paragraphs.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    that better?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    too young to marry?

    Hey sweetcheeks, and congratulations on making your relationship with this guy work for two years. That's great.
    However, when I look back on the men of my past (I'm almost 24 years old and still single), I can now see why I was attracted to some of them, and in most cases, I thank my lucky stars that it didn't work out. Why? Because I know a lot more about what I want from life, and I have a better picture of who I am today.
    What kind of goals do you have? What kind of career to you want? Do you want to have a bunch of kids, or none at all? Do you want to travel the world, or live in the same city until you die? These might seem like easy questions, but at 17, you're just beginning to find these answers I'm sure.
    Here's an easy example of how this might be a problem....you might decide that you want to stay living where you are, but your man may decide that he wants to move several hours away, or maybe even to a different country. You both need time to make the transition from being teenagers to independent adults. It would be wonderful for both of you to move out of your parents home, and you each could get your own place to live in, that way you can really decide how you want to live your life.
    As young girls, we grow up dreaming about the day to become a bride, and how to have a beautiful wedding, but what really matters is how to have a beautiful MARRIAGE. A wedding lasts for a day; a marriage lasts for a lifetime. See the difference?
    So unless you've been diagnosed as being terminally ill, and you know you're going to die soon, then definitely wait on marriage. You may have found the man to spend your entire life with, but timing is more important than some people realise. Figure out what career you want and get some independence first before you permanently join your life with someone else. Don't rush into it.
    Good luck!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    erinshelby wrote:
    Hey sweetcheeks, and congratulations on making your relationship with this guy work for two years. That's great.
    However, when I look back on the men of my past (I'm almost 24 years old and still single), I can now see why I was attracted to some of them, and in most cases, I thank my lucky stars that it didn't work out. Why? Because I know a lot more about what I want from life, and I have a better picture of who I am today.
    What kind of goals do you have? What kind of career to you want? Do you want to have a bunch of kids, or none at all? Do you want to travel the world, or live in the same city until you die? These might seem like easy questions, but at 17, you're just beginning to find these answers I'm sure.
    Here's an easy example of how this might be a problem....you might decide that you want to stay living where you are, but your man may decide that he wants to move several hours away, or maybe even to a different country. You both need time to make the transition from being teenagers to independent adults. It would be wonderful for both of you to move out of your parents home, and you each could get your own place to live in, that way you can really decide how you want to live your life.
    As young girls, we grow up dreaming about the day to become a bride, and how to have a beautiful wedding, but what really matters is how to have a beautiful MARRIAGE. A wedding lasts for a day; a marriage lasts for a lifetime. See the difference?
    So unless you've been diagnosed as being terminally ill, and you know you're going to die soon, then definitely wait on marriage. You may have found the man to spend your entire life with, but timing is more important than some people realise. Figure out what career you want and get some independence first before you permanently join your life with someone else. Don't rush into it.
    Good luck!

    Thanks. You asked a lot of questions and heres the answers to them, My goals are to complete all NVQ Levels 1,2 & 3 in hairdressing the reason for this is because i wanna be a hairdresser. I want one or two kids. Yes, i do want to travel the world some day. Well, my bf is much older than me hes in his 20's and we're both decided tht we wanna spend the rest of our lives together. and i wanna get married when im around 21.
    Im also currently looking for a job and ive got a interview on friday at 3.30pm for a weekend job so fingers crossed. i also start my college course in september.

    love sweet_cheeks xx
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    whats right for one person isn't necessarily right for another.
    there is nothing wrong to waiting till you're a bit older if thats what you want.
    but, tbh, if he is the right guy there is absolutly no reason at all if you want to be together and get married why you shouldn't.
    i don't see why people frown on people of a young age knowing their own mind.
    if it is what you want. go for it. be happy.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    do you live together yet?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Whatever you decide to do good luck. Always keep your goals in mind and don't loose sight of what you want for the future. I'm almost 20 now and have been with my b/f for over 4 years, we're happy as a couple and not engaged nor have any plans to be. Yet I have friends the same age as me and younger that are engaged to be married soon and are very happy. You have to do what is right for you and your partner.
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