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Question about condoms

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
So, in the next few days I'll be having sex with my boyfriend for the first time (I'm a virgin, he's not). I feel ready now and am looking forward to it. Next week he's going away for three weeks and I'd like to do it before then. In the long run I'd like to go on the pill, but I don't have time to start before he leaves so we'll be using a condom (which we'll probably keep doing anyway).

The thing is, I'm worried about condoms. I know how to use one and I know they're supposed to be 98% effective... but I have sooo many friends who have horror stories about condoms, including two who have had abortions, and one whose condom broke the first three times she had sex. There is no way I want to go there. I'm aware they might have been careless, but it still worries me. Also, this is more or less my most fertile time of the month.

Am I getting worked up about nothing? As long as we're careful, should I be confident that a condom will protect me? Or should I just wait until my boyfriend gets home and I've had time to get started on the pill?

Sorry if this sounds like a stupid question. I'm just trying to be responsible and not take risks.

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Condoms have been fine with me. I think everything carries a few scare stories.

    To make you feel more confident when you buy a packet of condoms you can read the little pamphlet that comes with it. Condoms are pretty strong and unless you have claw like nails or razerblades on your hands I'm sure you'll be fine anyway :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I think you should go ahead, no form of contraception is 100% effective and there will always be scare stories around like Rachael says, but if the worst comes to the worst there's always the emergency contraception pill.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Or, perhaps you could wait until he gets back, then you'll have all the time in the world to maybe get the pill and to practice putting condoms on, and find the right time etc.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    wait just a little longer - there's no point having these extra worries on your first time
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    just be calm etc. and go for the extra super duper safe ones, forget anything your man might say about him not feeling anything, its you and your life. and as said before, theres the MAP if everything goes pear shaped. Not that it should be used willy-nilly.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Okay thanks everyone, you've made me feel better :) . I'll have talk with him and see what he feels about it. Maybe we'll wait.

    I'm aware of the emergency contraception pill and while I think it's good that it's available, I don't want to factor it into the equation too much because ideally it shouldn't get to that stage. I'm certainly not going to start relying on it.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I think you've got a good head on your shoulders hazeltree. It's important to remember how to put a condom on correctly, in my limited experience I haven't found them to be particularly good for me, but my friend uses them and has been doing so with his long term girlfriend and never had one split! (for me, about half split, and the rest just hurt :p). So it does depend on how you get with them. Just take it easy to start with too.

    Relax, stay safe, and enjoy yourself :thumb:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    (for me, about half split, and the rest just hurt :p).

    perhaps you should buy the xxl ones ;)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    well as long as squeeze all the air out properly, and don't catch it on anything, it should be fine. With it being your first time you're hardly going to be having rough sex so i doubt you will split it. I'm on the pill but we also use condoms while i get used to the pill/gain confidence with it. You could use extra safe condoms. I dunno how much 'safer' they're supposed to be though.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Ballerina wrote:
    well as long as squeeze all the air out properly, and don't catch it on anything, it should be fine.
    Don't forget "gently pulling the foreskin back while putting it on"
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Ask him, if he's never had a problem with one then its a pretty good sign that he's mastered the technique of putting them on effectively. New condoms (ones that haven't been tucked in wallets for months etc) are really reliable, but go with whatever you feel happy with. Personally I trust condoms, I've had a couple of problems but know the cause of them.hh
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