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Things you would never know witout movies...

BillieTheBotBillieTheBot Posts: 8,721 Bot
Large, loft apartments in New York City are plentiful and affordable, even if the tenants are unemployed.


One of a pair of identical twins is evil.


Should you decide to defuse a bomb, don't worry about which wire to cut. You will always choose the right one.


It doesn't matter if you are greatly outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts. Your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one... dancing around in a threatening manner until you have dispatched their predecessors.


When you turn out the light to go to bed, everything in your bedroom will still be clearly visible but slightly blue.


If you are blonde and pretty, it is possible to be a world-famous expert on nuclear fission, dinosaurs, hieroglyphics, or anything else, at the age of 22.


Honest and hard-working policemen are usually gunned down a day or two before retirement.


Rather than wasting bullets, megalomaniacs prefer to kill their enemies using complex machinery involving fuses, deadly gasses, lasers, buzz saws and hungry sharks, all of which will give their captives at least 20 minutes to escape.


During all crime investigations, it is necessary to visit a strip club at least once.


All beds have special L-shaped covers that reach up to the armpits of a woman but only to the waist of the man lying beside her.


All grocery shopping bags contain at least one French bread and one bunch of carrots with leafy tops.


It's easy to land a plane, providing there is someone in the control tower to talk you down.


If you are beautiful, your makeup never rubs off, even while scuba-diving or fighting aliens. However if you are overweight, your mascara will run and your lipstick will smear.


The ventilation system of any building is the perfect hiding place. No one will ever think of looking for you in there, and you can travel to any other part of the building without difficulty.
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Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Aliens somehow manage to speak English.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    all teen virgins will definately get laid at a house party or a prom
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    If you hear a scary noise, the best thing to do is to get up and investigate..
    alone..
    in the dark..
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    If you say, "I'll be right back..." you won't be back because you most likely be killed.

    Virgins survive serial killers but people who have sex or drink underage or do drugs die.
  • Teh_GerbilTeh_Gerbil Posts: 13,332 Born on Earth, Raised by The Mix
    Bad guys have terrible aim with guns and will never hit the hero, but will hit his brave companion, who will die fighting so the hero may save the day.

    The afformentioned good guys will have better aim than the SAS and every bullet will hit its mark.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Guns, rifles and machine guns have unlimitted ammos...
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Everyone has a token black friend.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    subject13 wrote:
    Everyone has a token black friend.

    Just like South Park. And his name, you got it, Token Black! :D
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    This thread reminds me of a website I saw ages ago.

    Here it is.
  • Indrid ColdIndrid Cold Posts: 16,688 Skive's The Limit
    You're very likely to survive any battle in any war unless you make the mistake of showing someone a picture of your sweetheart back home.

    The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window in Paris.

    A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating but will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds.

    If a large pane of glass is visible, someone will be thrown through it before long.

    When paying for a taxi, don't look at your wallet as you take out a bill just grab one at random and hand it over. It will always be the exact fare.

    If staying in a haunted house, women should investigate any strange noises in their most revealing underwear.

    Cars that crash will almost always burst into flames.

    Any person waking from a nightmare will sit bolt upright and pant.

    All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red readouts so you know exactly when they're going to go off.

    A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty.

    If you decide to start dancing in the street, everyone you bump into will know all the steps.

    Any lock can be picked by a credit card or a paper clip in seconds -unless it's the door to a burning building with a child trapped inside.

    Television news bulletins usually contain a story that affects you personally at that precise moment you turn the television on.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating but will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds.

    A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty.

    If you decide to start dancing in the street, everyone you bump into will know all the steps.

    Any lock can be picked by a credit card or a paper clip in seconds -unless it's the door to a burning building with a child trapped inside.

    :thumb: :lol:

    I especially like the one about wounds, so true. Actually i have known that happen in real life too though.
  • Teh_GerbilTeh_Gerbil Posts: 13,332 Born on Earth, Raised by The Mix
    :lol:

    Let's not forget that if you see a bomb in a building, and start to run outside, you will make it out the doors the EXACT SECOND the bomb explodes, fly forwards and be quite unhurt by all the shrapnel.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    2 days ago I saw Arnold Schwarzeneggers: Last Action Hero.

    Seeing "Jack Slater" the hero of the homonymous movie INSIDE the movie of Last Action hero coming through a magic ticket into the real world.

    So does the bad guy, btw.
    So when the bad guy drives off Jack Slater says something about the line, "here have another explosion on your list", and shoots the car three times in the trunk, and when it does not burst into flames, he looks on his gun in disbelieve.

    The movie is full of those jokes, I laughed a lot.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    All Scottish people are addicted to something.

    No English person can visit America without pulling off some dastardly crime.

    If your hero is a famed martial artist, none of the baddies will carry fire-arms. Until the hero finds a gun then they'll magically aquire an arsenal of weaponry.

    No matter how serious a person is wounded, they'll hang on until they can whisper the name of the villain.

    During a deafening gun fight, it's still possible to have a conversation at a normal volume.

    All caged animals have a strong morals. They'll circle the hero's girlfriend/loved one for thirty minutes but instantly chomp the goon thrown into their pit.

    Night watchman invariable watch sports on a tiny portable television.

    All hitmen own a pair of leather gloves.

    The perfect disguise is a pair of unfashionable glasses.

    Blind people have aquired sonar.

    The asian villain always knows kung fu.

    The main requirement for progression to Sgt in the police voice is the ability to shout.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Clark Kent is superman...
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Guns, rifles and machine guns have unlimitted ammos...
    Until anyone has a clear shot at one of the main character's head.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Girls can cry, make up will run, but once consoled by strong 'it'll be alright in the end' monologue from Hero/Sidekick?Other30 seconds later...make up is miraculously fine...


    The 'baddies' will always have at least one member of the crew who is twice the size of the 'goodies'...yet will always be defeated in a fist-fight
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    :lol: these are great!
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