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When it doesnt work out...
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
.. and you know there wont be any staying friends, is it easier to hate the person or leave it on the 'im so sorry and ill always luv u' bullshit?
Last night i told a guy its not going to work out(im already in a relationship, he knew this from the start), we were both really upset and had the dramatic 'goodbye' on the phone.
Today we ended up talking again, he said i could change my mind etc etc(complicated), i said i wasnt certain of my decision but pretty sure that i wana make my relationship work(also complicated). Its REALLY pissed him off. He hates me, thinks ive purposely messed him around and im trying to destroy him. I suppose(hope) he saying all that coz hes upset.
So the question. Leaving things nice- surely it only allows the 'but maybe's' and 'what if we's' and you still feel the good things for each other.
Parting on bad terms- hurts that it ended that way but it brings a closure in that you dont want the person anymore, in a way. His anger at me has really scared me and if he thinks so shit of me now then surely he'll get on with things(he already told me theres other people interested)?? I want him to be happy so thats good.
Last night i told a guy its not going to work out(im already in a relationship, he knew this from the start), we were both really upset and had the dramatic 'goodbye' on the phone.
Today we ended up talking again, he said i could change my mind etc etc(complicated), i said i wasnt certain of my decision but pretty sure that i wana make my relationship work(also complicated). Its REALLY pissed him off. He hates me, thinks ive purposely messed him around and im trying to destroy him. I suppose(hope) he saying all that coz hes upset.
So the question. Leaving things nice- surely it only allows the 'but maybe's' and 'what if we's' and you still feel the good things for each other.
Parting on bad terms- hurts that it ended that way but it brings a closure in that you dont want the person anymore, in a way. His anger at me has really scared me and if he thinks so shit of me now then surely he'll get on with things(he already told me theres other people interested)?? I want him to be happy so thats good.
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Comments
Maybe you're better with a clean break, if he's gonna be upset then he's gonna be upset. If there's gonna be a friendship built then it'll have to be when he's found closure with it, so sometimes it's best just to split on "bad terms" yanno?
Never a nice situation though, I find it mega difficult to be be mates with an ex, have never been able to do it. Usually though if I wanna be mates it's because deep down I hope there's a way back.
Im still friends with one of my ex's. It takes time for you to only have 'friend feelings' but its great now. We went to a festival and stayed overnight together and nothing at all happened. But its great to have a friend that knows you ina different way kinda thing.
Anyway- yes, i hope that him hating me helps him be happy.
Yeah thats a good point. Even though you kinda know it won't happen.
Well i don't think he hates you. He's just upset, you say stupid things when your upset and hurting. But i dunno .. depends how deep he was with you i guess. If he had feelings for you then i guess he is hurting, if not then maybe he's just pissed off. I think letting things settle is a good idea. But i guess its different for everyone in these situations. But i guess seeing that you've already said they'll be no friendship then i suppose theres not much else you can do i suppose and just be happy