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Training the other half
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
The thread on what your OH holds you back from doing got me thinking, so...
When you met your boyfriend/girlfriend, either current or last, did they meet/exceed/fail your expectations in terms of how they behaved towards you and the relationship? Did you smooth off a couple of rough edges, or did they have no experience at all?
I had to go right back to the beginning pretty much. Wouldn't walk me home, we spent valentines evening on the sofa in the same room as his friend, he would comment on other girls and so on. Basically not brilliant boyfriend material. I think we're almost there now though, some tears and a breakup later, he bought me flowers on tuesday for no reason. Makes it all worth it
When you met your boyfriend/girlfriend, either current or last, did they meet/exceed/fail your expectations in terms of how they behaved towards you and the relationship? Did you smooth off a couple of rough edges, or did they have no experience at all?
I had to go right back to the beginning pretty much. Wouldn't walk me home, we spent valentines evening on the sofa in the same room as his friend, he would comment on other girls and so on. Basically not brilliant boyfriend material. I think we're almost there now though, some tears and a breakup later, he bought me flowers on tuesday for no reason. Makes it all worth it
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If he wasnt what i wanted out of a boyfriend in the first place then i wouldnt be with him.
And i wouldnt want to be trained by a boyfriend either, i want to be taken for who i am, not what i can be turned into.
men arent dogs.
I never understand why someone will get someone and then try and mould them into something else.
Why not just get someone suitable in the first place?
:thumb:
I think it's very unfair to any person to try and mould them to what suits you. They're people, not naughty toddlers or dogs, and if I knew my partner was trying to make me 'better' in order to suit their vision of what constitutes a perfect girlfriend, I'd be gone in a shot because I'd feel inferior as the person I am.
I'm going to sound very harsh here, but I really think you need to start being more realistic about people, and enjoy them for them, rather than what you want them to be - would you like it if the tables were turned? For instance, when my partner and I were living in different houses, I didn't expect him to walk me home, we don't celebrate valentines day, a night on the sofa chatting with our flatmates can be enjoyable and if he eyes up other women, I'll only get annoyed with him if I think she's not that pleasing to the eye! Those are only little things, they shouldn't make or break a relationship, and going through obvious distressing things like crying over it and breaking up sounds awfully childish to be honest.
too fucking right
That's exactly it, it would kill me to know someone thought they had to train me up, so to speak. Therefore I would never put someone else in that position.
To be honest I really appreciate the "rough edges" and the little idiosyncracies anyway, but I suppose if they had rough edges and a different outlook/values to me in a way I couldn't deal with... well then suffice to say I would probably be looking elsewhere for another half
If I like a girl then I like a girl, I never even get attracted to lassies who'd just sit there and look pretty. I need someone with something about them. If she wasn't like that I wouldn't even be arsed about her.
I reckon a lot of a relationship is sort of based on going out with each other and learning each others ways and stuff? Not just "Hmmm, he doesn't fit what I need, that boy betta change somethin' or he out that door!"
Maybe not, I dunno.
It wont edit the title.
Re: the walking home thing, if it was late at night, I wouldn't have to ask. I wouldn't know about the latter because my partner and I talk openly, unlike most of my past relationships, I'm pretty lucky in that sense.
I wouldn't go that far, and I certainly don't expect him to pay for anything, although I do take him up on it when he offers.
I think that part of the problem was that my previous boyfriend was over protected, so when I got one that didn't text me first and didn't walk me home etc, it seemed like he didn't give a toss in comparison. We've found that happy medium though I think, I just need to stop him tickling my feet.
Ah, now that's a boy's perogative, I'm afraid.
Any girlfriend of mine is gonna get her feet tickled :yes:
Make a girl laugh and you're halfway there innit
The worst thing is when you're young you meet someone perfectly suited. Then they grow up and want a bit more excitement, but rather than breaking up with you, try to have the best of both worlds. Even though they obviously derive more excitment / fun from their new boyfriend than their old one.
i think it was mainly i'd grown up before he had.... plus the fact that he was a cheating lying scumbag, but we wont go into that
im now with someone who i really love and they really love me. ive never met anyone like them in my life and he is everything ive always wanted.
so i get wat u mean shyboy, coz when i got with my ex, he was what i wanted, but as time went on, things changed
:yes:
but they still want it to be the same with me, just want the extras of being able to flirt with whoever they like and have 'special' male friends who are almost boyfriends, except the sex.
blah. the hardest bit is cos you loved them so much when things were good, is trying to move on, cos you thought you'd be together forever!
Argh. that is the only thing I would have to train out.
I HATE having my feet tickled, to the point where if a guy kept doing it even when I told him not to (why do they think that's funny?) I'd consider breaking up with him.
Was about to say the same thing. I start kicking too, so I gotta watch out.
Feet are my most ticklish part.
He starts acting like a baby if I tickle him. Its cute, but major double standards! hehe
*Finishes long essay* Sorry!
Hope that made sense :nervous: :chin:
Also if I felt like i wanted to train them they obviously arent right for me.
:yes:
whats the point of being with them in the first place if there not what you want from the start?