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Following on from ym previous post - more help with flirting please!

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
Sorry to be boring/repetitive, but I need a bit more help.

In case you haven't read my other post, a few weeks ago this guy started coming into where I work - he's a field sales rep so he comes in and stands by the door trying to get people to buy what he's selling.

Anyway one day he came over to me and started with his 'sales speech'. I listened then told him I wasn't interested, he asked if I was single which threw me a bit, but I said no and he did that guy thing of acting all surprised, then asked me out for a drink.
I thought he was joking so laughed it off, then carried on serving (I work in a supermarket, btw). A bit later on a workmate came up to me and said that Dan (the guy) had told her he really liked me, was being serious when he asked me out and only started with the sales stuff to try and get me talking.

That's basically all that's happened. I mainly work evenings so I only see him once or twice a week, and today was the first time I'd seen him in about 2 weeks. I went on the checkouts and a few times I noticed him staring at me, but every time he did that it freaked me out so I either didn't look up, or I'd look up then look away quickly and walk off.
He came over and spoke to me a few times, just stuff like asking how I was and joking about how I keep breaking the tills (lol...long story!) but I really fancy him and I'm quite shy around guys I like, so I didn't talk much - just answered what he was saying and laughed at his jokes but didn't really ask him anything, or keep the conversation going.

I should be seeing him next on Wednesday, and I'm getting bored/frustrated with seeing him for an hour or two in work but barely speaking to him, then he leaves and I don't see him again for a week!

I need to get myself in gear and give him a definite sign I like him, and also find out whether he's still interested in me.
I'm too much of a wuss to ask him out directly (although I was thinking of saying something like "I'm not sure what to do tonight" and ask him for suggestions. Is that really cheesy?!)

I don't want to just be a bit flirty and giggly, because I want him to actually ask me out (or know that he likes me for sure so I can ask him) by the end of the day.

Any ideas?

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    so you single or not?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    just ask him about anything.. talk about anything.. what hes wearing? :chin:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    How about "So when are you taking me out for that drink then?!"
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    JJ454 wrote:
    How about "So when are you taking me out for that drink then?!"

    :yes:

    I'd have thought he'd have made more of an attempt to move things forward because he's the bloke. Unless he's like me and just gets all embarrased and leaves the girl to do the moving things forward. Sounds like he's a charmer though, but he's probably just not sure what you feel?

    Can't go wrong with just asking him straight, really.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hmm. The thing that's stopping me from asking him out straight, is that I'm not sure if he is just being a charmer, or if he's genuinely interested in me. I'm quite pessimistic when it comes to things like this, so I'm inclined to think it's the first option! Lol.

    Are there any ways of telling if he's genuinely interested or just flirting for the sake of it?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    alasia wrote:
    Are there any ways of telling if he's genuinely interested or just flirting for the sake of it?

    Yes - take him up on the drink offer and see what happens! Easy.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Bri-namite wrote:
    I'd have thought he'd have made more of an attempt to move things forward because he's the bloke.

    That's a bit old fashioned!

    My advice would be not to wait around for him because he's the bloke, it's the 21st century now, oyu make the first move (well the second I suppose seeing as he's already asked you to go for a drink). Anything will do, like the above suggestion of asking when that drink's going to happen. Trust me if he likes you, whatever you say will be good. Just throw caution to the wind and go for it! And good luck! :)

    P.S. it's a bit confusing from your first post whether you are single or not?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Was it confusing? Sorry...yes I'm single.

    Thing is, if I ask him out for a drink and he says no then that'll be really embarrassing. Or what if he says yes just to humour me?!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    alasia wrote:
    Was it confusing? Sorry...yes I'm single.

    Thing is, if I ask him out for a drink and he says no then that'll be really embarrassing. Or what if he says yes just to humour me?!

    Going by your post i'd say you have a very good chance he'll say yes becuase he want's to.

    I'm a very shy guy and almost never make a move on someone I like (or dislike for that matter!) but given what's happening here, even I would ask him out for a drink.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hmm...ok.

    I do catch him looking at me a lot, like when I walk into a room he's in or walk past him he always watches me until I'm out of sight, but maybe he's just looking for signs that I'm watching him - lol that make sense? I mean maybe he just likes attention from women and isn't actually interested in me?

    I'll see how it goes next time I see him anyway, I might ask him out if I'm feeling brave, or maybe just drop hints that I don't have plans at the weekend and see how it goes from there!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    alasia wrote:
    Thing is, if I ask him out for a drink and he says no then that'll be really embarrassing.

    You'd get over it. But you'll never know if you don't try.
    Or what if he says yes just to humour me?!

    Whyever should he do that :confused:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Meryn wrote:
    You'd get over it. But you'll never know if you don't try.

    :yes:

    I asked a girl who I knew out once (albeit by e-mail) and she said no, the trouble was I worked in the same building as her, but it wasn't a problem, I still speak to her every now and then. I was really embarrased at first, but it lasted for an hour or so, and after I just thought, "well at least I now know where I stand"
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Just say "so whens that drink then?" or somthing and he'll probably say "what about this friday yada yada" and you'll have a date! Oh, and ofcourse he likes you, he asked you out (obvious sign), told your friend (big sign) and constanly looks and talks to you....hello! I mean, what else could he actually do to make it more clear! he even asked you out ffs!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    have you asked him?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Ooooo exciting!

    I think like someone above said just say "so when are you taking me for that drink then?"

    I'm naturally quite flirty but when i start to like someone then i can go quite shy so i know what its like. I'm sure he'll be so chuffed if you just plucked up the courage and asked him. Let us know how it goes! x
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    wish someone would ask me out for a few drinks
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Well I'm still not convinced he does actually like me, but I'll try the "so when are we going for that drink" thing.

    Hopefully seeing him at work on Thursday so I'll keep you updated:)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    alasia wrote:
    Well I'm still not convinced he does actually like me, but I'll try the "so when are we going for that drink" thing.

    Hopefully seeing him at work on Thursday so I'll keep you updated:)


    goodluck
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Ta! :-)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Ok, things have moved on slightly from my last post...

    I've seen him a few times in work but have always been too busy to really speak to him.
    On Monday it was the same; he was standing outside and when he noticed me through the window he seemed to come straight in and start chatting to people inside the shop, looking over at me quite a bit - but for some stupid reason I avoided eye contact!

    Anyway all he said to me was "Bye" before he left, and then I started complaining to Val (someone I work with) that I should have said something.
    Val had offered to speak to him before he left and find out if he still likes me, but I asked her not to.

    Then on Wednesday Dan (the guy I like) wasn't in work - he usually works Wednesdays - so I was a bit gutted.
    Val came up to me and gave me a number that she said was Dan's.
    I asked her how she got it and she said that he was still outside when she left and she got his number for me...I don't believe that because I'm sure she left about half an hour after Dan did, so why would he still be hanging around?! I reckon she really got it from his friend, because I saw Val talking to him on Wednesday and wondered what they were up to (but why lie about where you got a number from?!)

    So anyway I had his number, and decided to text him yesterday morning - he hasn't replied :rolleyes:
    I'm taking that as he isn't interested, but when I told my friend she said maybe he hasn't got credit, or has been busy...etc.
    Thing is, recently a few of my texts haven't been getting through to people, so I'm not sure what to do - usually I'd just leave it but I really lilke Dan, and if there's a chance he didn't get my text I don't want to leave it and never see him again - but I also don't want to pester him...what should I do?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Ring him. :yes:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    But if he did get my text and he's not interested, won't it seem a bit bunny-boilerish if I call him? What would I say?!

    Lol I'm sooo bad at all this:rolleyes:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Maybe you typed his number in wrong. I'd wait till you see him again. Then just smile and he may come over, if not then gesture for him to come over!

    Sounds like he's a bit put off cuz he reckons he got knocked back
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    That's the thing...I won't see him again (unless I go looking for him, lol) - he doesn't work for the same place as me; he just kind of used our shop as a base and now he's moved somewhere else...I don't really understand it, all I know is apparently he won't be back.

    Which is why I'm a bit gutted about it all.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Ok...so I've got this guy's number (someone at work got if for me withouot me knowing :rolleyes: ) and we've exchanged a couple of texts, but I've decided that while I like Dan, I really like this other guy, Michael, that I work with.

    Mike and I have got this weird thing where he can go away to uni, and when he comes back to work in the holidays we start chatting like he's never been away. He hasn't been at work for about 2 weeks but he was on my bus with his friends last night and he came and sat by me (much to his friends' amusement! lol) and we chatted non-stop for the entire journey - I haven't had that connection with someone in ages! Also found out that a few people at work have asked him if there's something going on between us, because of how flirty/chatty we are with each other.

    It's good, but it's also really weird because a - he's 2 years younger than me, and 2 - he's not my type at all...
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    uh..ok? This whole thread seems very childish to me.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    uh..ok? This whole thread seems very childish to me.

    :yes: but just thought I'd post an update:)
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