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Comments
What did you do exactly?
If you slept with someone else I reckon the really bad guilt should be over in around 2 weeks, weeks 3+4 with some flashbacks of the guilt. After that then you will probably just feel guilty when you realise how much you love her or when she does something nice for you and you realise what a cunt you were.
Good luck anyway
The fact that she hadn't told me in the first place wouldn't make the slightest difference to me.
It's not to do with being cowardly.
If matey tells her, she'll be devo and he'll still feel guilty. Just because you want him to be honest? Soemtimes you have to lie.
Owning up does nobody any good.
It shows the gf that the bf isn't the person she thought he was.
owning up does good....cause it gives the partner a chance to leave, it's not fair on them to keep lying - they deserve some respect
if you wanna sleep with other people then don't get into a relationship
No. Where did I say that?
Is life really so black and white to you?
you don't seem to have a problem with cheating
well is a relationship an ideal situation when you're still wanting to have fun with different people? unless of course they join in :rolleyes:
I've said nothing of the sort.
You can't stop temptation.
Now you get it.
And some people make mistakes, whether it be through alcohol, drugs or just stupidity. It doesn't have to mean you don't love your partner.
As far as I can see this blokes fucked up and quite rightly he feels shit for it. I'd keep quiet if I were him.
I think you should tell her, if you explain how guilty you feel and what a mistake it was, she may forgive you. But she deserves that choice. If you feel you could get away with it once, what's to stop you doing it again? And then it just becomes worse. Can you trust yourself?
Don't tell your partner that you've cheated. It's not fair. All you are doing is passing your guilt onto her in order to make yourself feel better. Not content with being a selfish little fuck once, you obviously feel the need to be a selfish little fuck again by making yourself feel better by telling her.
Skive, cheating is always unforgivable. If you love someone you do not cheat on them- you know it will hurt them, so if you don't have enough respect for them to keep your knob in your pants then you don't have any respect for them at all.
People who cheat are selfish cunts who have no consideration for anybody but themselves. People who then confess all simply so that they don't have to live with the guilt are even worse.
The guilt is your punishment for being a cunt, and just you remember that.
But if there was a 99.9% chance of her not finding out, i'd not admit it. Nothing to be gained from confessing in my opinion.
And yes i know i probably just contradicted myself.
Never once have i suggested that cheating on your partner is acceptable?
Not especially, but it can come across as condoning it by having the attitude that shit happens.
Owning up does nobody any good though, except the cheater- it helps their feelings of guilt.
Don't own up unless you will be caught- the guilt you feel is your punishment for being a cunt.
As for the argument about to tell or not to tell, I think it has to depend on the person, their partner, their relationship, and the circumstances.
In my opinion, I would say if there is no way of her finding out, and you already feel so guilty about it and are never gonna do it again, then dont tell her. what will telling her acheive? either she will leave or she will stay and it will hang over your relationship forever - every time an argument starts up in the future, this will come up. If you've learnt your lesson and are committed to making the relationship work, then just put all your effort into that now.
If she might find out, or your guilt is already affecting the relationship then maybe tell her - certainly i do agree that finding out from you would be better than finding out from someone else later down the track and having to deal with your lying and secretiveness as well as infidelity.
If you think you might do it again, break up with her now.
In that way she doesn't get hurt and you do, which seems fair to me.
cause if you did sleep with her and didn't use anything, you're already at risk and you don't want to fuck it up further by passing something onto her.
One of the worst ways to find out that you were cheated on is by finding you've caught something.
:thumb: