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the "other" person
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
theres has been alot of posts on here lately about people cheating or have been cheated on by their partners and their subsequent feelings
ive always wondered though what the "other" person felt.
Me personally, i would never go with a lad if i knew he had a girlfriend because ive been there and i know what its like to be cheated on, my friend however doesnt care, if the lad shows interest she'll go with them regardless of whether they have a girlfriend.
if im honest i absolutely hate the fact that she does this as i believe that in a way people like her are why so many relationships break up, its basically having no thought for another person. i know half the blame lies with the lad and yes in an unhappy relationship there is an almost release in cheating but i truly believe it wouldnt happen if girls like her just had the decency to say no.
maybe im being to harsh:yes: . what do you guys think?
p.s i understand that sometimes your not aware of the other person being involved and in these cases its different
ive always wondered though what the "other" person felt.
Me personally, i would never go with a lad if i knew he had a girlfriend because ive been there and i know what its like to be cheated on, my friend however doesnt care, if the lad shows interest she'll go with them regardless of whether they have a girlfriend.
if im honest i absolutely hate the fact that she does this as i believe that in a way people like her are why so many relationships break up, its basically having no thought for another person. i know half the blame lies with the lad and yes in an unhappy relationship there is an almost release in cheating but i truly believe it wouldnt happen if girls like her just had the decency to say no.
maybe im being to harsh:yes: . what do you guys think?
p.s i understand that sometimes your not aware of the other person being involved and in these cases its different
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Which 'other' are you talking about? The 'other' - like your friend who goes with someone even though they know that the person is in a relationship?
But in cases where they are aware, it depends on the person and how they feel I guess. It's very easy to paint people as homewrecking, red lipstick wearing, sassy Rebecca Loos types, but relationships can be very complicated and we may not know what goes on beneath the surface. For instance, I knew of a woman who was going to tell another married woman that her partner had been cheating on her. When she did this, the woman looked surprised and said, "I know he fucks other women. As I fuck other men. We have an open marriage."
Other people will relish in trying to break up someone else's relationship but fault will also lie with the person cheating, I hardly think it's a case of, "I was in a happy field of daisies with my girlfriend when this vagina-monster came and seduced me!", but in terms of what the 'others' go through, I really don't care to be honest.
It's a very difficult one, if the opportunity came up then part of me would be saying stay the hell away cos one of my ex girlfriends cheated on me several times and I know exactly how it feels but also part of me would be so tempted, it's human nature, it's so easy to be selfish and think "hell why should I care? I'm not getting hurt and I never have to see the damage I'm causing, plus I'm fucking horny and this girl is hot" so I don't think I'd know what I'd do unless the situation came up....I'd like to say that I'd say no but who knows...temptation is a powerful thing that is often fuelled with alcohol or drugs.
He was my supervisor at work, married with 3 kids and he was 37 so the 'relationship' wasn't the best idea for a lot of reasons, but it just kind of happened.
It certainly wasn't premeditated (on my part anyway) - it was just a few of us from work went out one night, me and Steve got chatting about stuff, he walked me home and we ended up kissing.
That happened a few times. He'd offer me a lift home after work and we'd end up going to a little beach we knew (like a secluded cove kinda thing), or stay in his car parked down an alleyway...it sounds kind of seedy now looking back, but at the time you don't think like that.
I did feel a bit guilty whenever I saw Steve's wife or kids - they came in to see him at work quite a lot and I got to know his girls quite well, but I guess when I was with him I blocked the guilt out of my mind.
This probably sounds bad but I wouldn't rule out ever having another affair. I wouldn't go looking for it and if a married guy was chatting me up or something I'd try my best to steer clear, but if it happens, it happens.
I can't say I'd never do it as I've already done it once and no one got hurt; you know what I mean?
God I sound like a bitch...
not so much for doing it when you were younger, but for not having a problem with the idea of doing it again.
Better hope you never get your fingers burnt then because it's not nice when you do. I learnt my lesson the hard way but am bloody glad i learnt it as i can honestly say it'll never happen again.
Generally speaking, I'd never judge anyone for being the other person in a relationship, though of course it isn't ideal. Things are rarely as black and white (or scarlet and lilywhite, as reactionary people tend to see it) as they seem. My best friend was seeing a married man for two years and eventually had to move back to her home country of Australia because it was ruining her life - she was completely suckered in. By the time she found out he was married she was in so deep that despite trying to leave many a time for the sake of his marriage she wasn't able to. It infuriated me that she couldn't just cut him off but I could also see that she was just trying to grab a little bit of happiness for herself - albeit in a way that was destructive to herself and others. I'm just happy to see her out of it now, even if it does mean she's halfway across the world