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Moving in.
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Hey, I'm currently having a bit of trouble as reguards my best mate.
You see, I'd love to get a flat with him, we have talked about it, but now I'm really unsure. I have a horrible feeling that if we do get a flat, I'll be lumbered with all the housework and bills.
He keeps on saying he's getting a job, but he never does. I'm always spending all my money on him because I feel so sorry for him never having any himself. And he asks me to lend him it and makes me feel really like I have to, because I have a problem saying no.
But recently, I've been finding out that he spends all his money on going out drinking and that's why he's always broke. It pisses me off because he's always like 'Sel, I haven't eaten all day and I'm starving', expecting me to buy him something.
Once he sent me a txt message saying Hey sel, can you come to shaggys place now I'm hungry and need fags and it pissed me off because I know I owed him a pack, but he never gives me what he owes me for ages.
Thursday was what really got to me. You see, I am so hard up on money at the moment, I can't afford to go out 'cause I'm off the sick benefits & waiting for jobseekers to kick in. He asked me if he could borrow £10 (I had £15 to last me the week)and I said no so he got a bit huffy & I lent him £5.
He promised to pay it back the next day, but when the next day came he said he only had enough to go clubbing the next night and now he's not paying me until Friday.
Another thing that scared me was when he got drunk and touched me. I really don't know what to do.
You see, I'd love to get a flat with him, we have talked about it, but now I'm really unsure. I have a horrible feeling that if we do get a flat, I'll be lumbered with all the housework and bills.
He keeps on saying he's getting a job, but he never does. I'm always spending all my money on him because I feel so sorry for him never having any himself. And he asks me to lend him it and makes me feel really like I have to, because I have a problem saying no.
But recently, I've been finding out that he spends all his money on going out drinking and that's why he's always broke. It pisses me off because he's always like 'Sel, I haven't eaten all day and I'm starving', expecting me to buy him something.
Once he sent me a txt message saying Hey sel, can you come to shaggys place now I'm hungry and need fags and it pissed me off because I know I owed him a pack, but he never gives me what he owes me for ages.
Thursday was what really got to me. You see, I am so hard up on money at the moment, I can't afford to go out 'cause I'm off the sick benefits & waiting for jobseekers to kick in. He asked me if he could borrow £10 (I had £15 to last me the week)and I said no so he got a bit huffy & I lent him £5.
He promised to pay it back the next day, but when the next day came he said he only had enough to go clubbing the next night and now he's not paying me until Friday.
Another thing that scared me was when he got drunk and touched me. I really don't know what to do.
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Comments
I may have just heard the negative stuff from this and your drugs post which doesn't give the full picture of your friendship, but it really does sound to an extent that he's just using you - money, food, fags etc. and if that's not the case now, it will be once you've moved in with him. Also, you've mentioned how he sometimes scares you/touches you when he's pissed and stoned. All this doesn't sound like the best basis for a harmonious flat sharing experience.
Especially if you want to save your friendship and not have a messy and unecessary breakup....
Just try and tell him that you don't think it would work and that you think it would mess up your friendship, which you don't want to do etc. At least not until he settles down and stablises a bit, anyway.
I hope you get things sorted and all goes well. <IMG SRC="smile.gif" border="0" ALT="icon">