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Religion, family and money *beware rant*
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Sorry guys just really wanted a rant. Was gunna do this on LJ but thought it may also make a couple of good discussion points. Is kinda relationship based but has some money issues too but ill put it in here 
Ok here goes (I'll try and keep this as short and as uncomplicated as I can honest!)....
My dad is jewish (although does not practice it) along with all of his family and my mum is church of england. On Wednesday my grandad (my dads dad who is also jewish) died. I had to attend a jewish funeral for him on thursday (me, my mum and brother are not jewish). Obviously this is a stressful time which is traumatic for everyone but being around all the people there made it about 20 times worse. My dad's sister who is very jewish had all her friends were there who are also all jewish. When they arrived, and infact the whole day, not a single one of them acknowledge me, my mum or my brother and were actually extremely rude. It just really pisses me off that this was my grandads funeral and I was made to feel I shouldnt be there and made to feel awkward all day long. Not one of these people had ever met my grandad or gave too shits about him, to them this was just a 'jewish event' or a 'jewish peoples day out'. They all ignored me all day and didn't even say anything to me when i was upset at the funeral. They wanted to control the whole thing when infact I don't even know why they were even there. When the coffin was being buried my mum went to stand with my dad as he was upset and standing on his own and some woman (fuck knows who she was) told my mum really rudely that she couldn't go and stand with him and to move to the back! It has just really REALLY annoyed that people can be so god damn fucking rude at a funeral of all things. They were looking me up and down all day judging what i was wearing and were annoyed when I didn't know all the jewish 'customs', hewbrew etc. All my dads sisters friends spent all day telling her how awful it must have been for her to come home from her holiday home in spain after, yes AFTER, he had died. Not a single fucker said anything to my dad even though he was with him the whole time he was dying and looked after him his whole life pretty much on his own.
The icing on the cake has just topped it all off though . My dad's sister is really rich, and I mean millionaire rich. We are really REALLY short of money at the mo, in loads of debt and are about to loose our house and she has just rang up to ask us to put a couple of grand towards the funeral! WTF. I mean it's fair enough that he was my dads dad too but surely if we are that bad in the shit and she is so rich she can pay for her fucking dads funeral, thats just a bit of small change for her.
Have been talking to my mum and begging her to make dad write a will this week coz there is no fucking way he is having a funeral with all of them, they make me sick with all their designer clothes and looking down on me like I'm a piece if shit on the floor. At the end of the day I'm not jewish (and couldn't even change to be even if I wanted to coz they don't let you just 'decide' you want to be jewish) but I think I am a semi decent person who should at least deserve a bit of god damn respect.
Gah, I hate fucking rude arrogant people, especially when they are so your so called family, there is just no need for it :mad:
Thanks for reading if you managed to follow that. I don't know if I am totally over reacting on this or not. I guess you would have to have been there to see the full exstent of how they treated me. This wasn't a one off either so they are not even getting the benefit of the doubt.
grrrrr
Ok here goes (I'll try and keep this as short and as uncomplicated as I can honest!)....
My dad is jewish (although does not practice it) along with all of his family and my mum is church of england. On Wednesday my grandad (my dads dad who is also jewish) died. I had to attend a jewish funeral for him on thursday (me, my mum and brother are not jewish). Obviously this is a stressful time which is traumatic for everyone but being around all the people there made it about 20 times worse. My dad's sister who is very jewish had all her friends were there who are also all jewish. When they arrived, and infact the whole day, not a single one of them acknowledge me, my mum or my brother and were actually extremely rude. It just really pisses me off that this was my grandads funeral and I was made to feel I shouldnt be there and made to feel awkward all day long. Not one of these people had ever met my grandad or gave too shits about him, to them this was just a 'jewish event' or a 'jewish peoples day out'. They all ignored me all day and didn't even say anything to me when i was upset at the funeral. They wanted to control the whole thing when infact I don't even know why they were even there. When the coffin was being buried my mum went to stand with my dad as he was upset and standing on his own and some woman (fuck knows who she was) told my mum really rudely that she couldn't go and stand with him and to move to the back! It has just really REALLY annoyed that people can be so god damn fucking rude at a funeral of all things. They were looking me up and down all day judging what i was wearing and were annoyed when I didn't know all the jewish 'customs', hewbrew etc. All my dads sisters friends spent all day telling her how awful it must have been for her to come home from her holiday home in spain after, yes AFTER, he had died. Not a single fucker said anything to my dad even though he was with him the whole time he was dying and looked after him his whole life pretty much on his own.
The icing on the cake has just topped it all off though . My dad's sister is really rich, and I mean millionaire rich. We are really REALLY short of money at the mo, in loads of debt and are about to loose our house and she has just rang up to ask us to put a couple of grand towards the funeral! WTF. I mean it's fair enough that he was my dads dad too but surely if we are that bad in the shit and she is so rich she can pay for her fucking dads funeral, thats just a bit of small change for her.
Have been talking to my mum and begging her to make dad write a will this week coz there is no fucking way he is having a funeral with all of them, they make me sick with all their designer clothes and looking down on me like I'm a piece if shit on the floor. At the end of the day I'm not jewish (and couldn't even change to be even if I wanted to coz they don't let you just 'decide' you want to be jewish) but I think I am a semi decent person who should at least deserve a bit of god damn respect.
Gah, I hate fucking rude arrogant people, especially when they are so your so called family, there is just no need for it :mad:
Thanks for reading if you managed to follow that
. I don't know if I am totally over reacting on this or not. I guess you would have to have been there to see the full exstent of how they treated me. This wasn't a one off either so they are not even getting the benefit of the doubt.grrrrr
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Comments
Hope things improve for you all.
I hope your folks can sort out the money issue. I've always thought it fairer to go by a percentage of each person's available money rather than use a percentage of the actual costs.
Try not to allow the events of the funeral to overshadow your rememberance of your grandad and try not to allow your anger to overshadow your grief.
Thanks Katralla that's really good advice, is appreciated
*hugs* to you over your grandads death.
though i would ask whether your dads sister knows you've money troubles? - if she doesn't know then maybe thats why she asked?!
emotions tend to run pretty high at times like what you are going through, so try not to take it all to heart... just try and remember your grandad for the person he was and try not to let other people drag you down with petty arguments.
If she didn't know then I wouldn't be so angry but she does which is why I'm so annoyed. She is just very selfish I think.
Cheers for the hugs, can always count on you guys to make me feel better
You are not overreacting. I would be as annoyed as you.
:yes: I think this is the best option too.
My Mum's brother is a millionaire but we never see him. At times my family has been drowning in debt too but he never helps out when it comes to things like this. Its rather annoying but its just something we just have to deal with.
Emotions often run high at funerals and show the bad side of people as everyone has mentioned. Try not to take it to heart as hard as it may be.
The fact that there was religion differences shouldn't have been an issue to be honest. You all cared alot for your Grandad and thats all that should have mattered. As others have said, try not to let this overshadow the rememberance of your Grandad and let your self grieve.
I hope you are ok xxx
sorry to hear about your grandad.
Seriously though, regardless of your faith, they should have been sympathetic to your own grief. But that's not a 'Jewish' thing, that's just an 'arsehole' thing ... :impissed:
Teagan think i may take up your idea of the bacon sarnies, lol
They are not othodox but i know what you mean
Actually, this is not true. The reason that they have been known to be 'stingy' is that for centuries Jews were badly persecuted so one of the few businesses that they could easily and quickly pack up to move on should they be forced to flee, was money-lending. And so people assumed them to be 'stingy' and the smear has remained ... Most of the Jews that I have met have been anything but stingy.
The situation with 'Schnap Me Baby' may be down to them objecting to her lack of Jewish'ness but that is just an unfortunate ... you get arseholes in every religon and every part of society.
Same here
Indeed