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the problem of child abuse - discuss

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
these are just brief thoughts i would like to have settled in my mind. I ask of you to criticise, comment and/or reject dispute and resolve.

i think the scale of the problem with pedophilles is over reported.
i raise the point that children are generally pretty safe to play in streets etc. I'd expect each child to recognise the signs of the most basic instinct. where a child of 2006 cannot recognise this and steer clear of men like that when they see it then obviously that's awful. These are the same kids who are wathcing MTV with pimping, sexy women etc.

the answer to a simple problem is to educate kids on sex at a very young age. i would be QUITE CONCERTED to have my child educated. no longer can the euphamism 'don't accept sweets from strangers' suffice. I have no objection to my child learning about sex and relationships.

It's a sensitive subject, one that no-one likes to take a rational stance on because of the media pressure.
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Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I dont understand how that will solve the problem?

    The problem doesnt lie in the victim. Do you mean teaching children about the 'evil intentions' of a paedo? How is that going to reduce it?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    how do you teach a three year old about sexual predators?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    with a straight face
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i think the scale of the problem with pedophilles is over reported.
    I cannot agree with that. The problem of paedophiles is not over-reported at all. It's BETTER-reported by a long shot, despite some sections of media being prone to hysteria over the issue. This helps keep the issue in the public eye. I believe that to be a very good thing.
    the answer to a simple problem is to educate kids on sex at a very young age.
    What does sex have to do with paedophilia? Paedophiles don't have sex with children for fun, you know. It happens because of an utterly disgusting, repellent attraction to beings who aren't sexualised yet. It's worth noting that about 80% of the sexual abuse of children goes on in the family. The issue is far more complicated than you're making out.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    with a straight face
    how do you teach twelve week old babies about sexual abuse?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You would tell a three year old not to walk off without mummy saying it's ok. My sister banned me from teaching my neice and nephew about secrets, banned me from encouraging naughty (ie playful silly) secrets "just between me and them and not tell mummy" because she wanted her kids to know to tell her everything.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I think it'd be incredibly difficult. For one not all paedos wear a dodgy trench coat with their bits dangling out of the flies.

    My mum bought me a book when I was young. Forgotten what it's called but it basically re-enforces that you have the right to say no and that your body is your own and no one has the right to touch you if you don't want them to.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Fiend_85 wrote:
    You would tell a three year old not to walk off without mummy saying it's ok. My sister banned me from teaching my neice and nephew about secrets, banned me from encouraging naughty (ie playful silly) secrets "just between me and them and not tell mummy" because she wanted her kids to know to tell her everything.
    sounds good.i do not like the idea of teaching young children about adult matters.
    they need the chance to be children for fucks sake.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i agree. there's generally no need. in fact, there's just no need
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    how do you teach twelve week old babies about sexual abuse?

    You can't teach babies stuff like that. Same with three year olds. As if they'd really understand what you mean anyway...
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Sofie wrote:
    You can't teach babies stuff like that. Same with three year olds. As if they'd really understand what you mean anyway...


    yer thats like saying it doesn't matter that the child goes through this abuse then. doesn't matter they don't understand.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    yer thats like saying it doesn't matter that the child goes through this abuse then. doesn't matter they don't understand.
    that makes no sense to me.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    yer thats like saying it doesn't matter that the child goes through this abuse then. doesn't matter they don't understand.

    I'm NOT saying that. I'm saying that if you were to teach a child of three about sex & abuse then they won't understand. Doubt they'd be that interested either.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    yer thats like saying it doesn't matter that the child goes through this abuse then. doesn't matter they don't understand.
    Hang on. Nobody here will dispute that something like raping a baby is one of the most unspeakably evil things that any person could ever do. Nobody here will argue that it's perfectly okay to put a child through the sheer hell of being abused. I'm well-aware there are one or two members on the forums who were abused as children, so no one is trying to reduce the seriousness of this atrocious, horrendous crime.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    right this minute my three and half year old grandson is sitting in the corner playing with toys .
    he is exceptionaly bright but ...there is no way we would even consider teaching him about sex issues!
    i pressume the thread starter knows very little if anything ...about children.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Teaching a child about sex isnt going to make them safer when it comes to paedos taking them off the street or neighbours kidnapping them into their homes. Just because they know what sex is, isnt going to stop them been abused is it?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    subject13 wrote:
    Teaching a child about sex isnt going to make them safer when it comes to paedos taking them off the street or neighbours kidnapping them into their homes. Just because they know what sex is, isnt going to stop them been abused is it?

    Exactly.
    i pressume the thread starter knows very little if anything ...about children.

    My thoughts exactly.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Sofie wrote:


    My thoughts exactly.
    i'm always suspicous of people who say ... discuss.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i'm always suspicous of people who say ... discuss.
    Examiners?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i'm always suspicous of people who say ... discuss.

    You want me to expand on what I've just said?:confused:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Sofie wrote:
    You want me to expand on what I've just said?:confused:
    sorry no ...i meant the thread starter.
    whenever it says discuss ...it sounds like an order ...it gets me all defensive.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    its not the children thats the problem, wether or not they know about sex isn't going to stop a peadophile
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Fact, they don't need to know what something is to be able to describe it to mummy and daddy either. If they know that mummy and daddy care and that secrets don't count with mummy and daddy.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i think the scale of the problem with pedophilles is over reported.

    How? So you'd rather that it wasn't reported and that will probably mean that more children are killed and raped?:rolleyes: And I think most parents would like to know about stuff like this so that they can protect & educate their children.
    i raise the point that children are generally pretty safe to play in streets etc. I'd expect each child to recognise the signs of the most basic instinct. where a child of 2006 cannot recognise this and steer clear of men like that when they see it then obviously that's awful. These are the same kids who are wathcing MTV with pimping, sexy women etc.

    You mean, a five year old should be expected to know what is and what isn't dangerous?
    the answer to a simple problem is to educate kids on sex at a very young age. i would be QUITE CONCERTED to have my child educated. no longer can the euphamism 'don't accept sweets from strangers' suffice. I have no objection to my child learning about sex and relationships.

    And what age do you think would be appropriate for this educating?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Sofie wrote:
    How? So you'd rather that it wasn't reported and that will probably mean that more children are killed and raped?:rolleyes: And I think most parents would like to know about stuff like this so that they can protect & educate their children.

    He's actually right petal. Children are much safer than the media make out. You'd think young girls were taken every day after soham and that kid a couple of years before.

    It's actually really quite rare, something like 10 a year.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You have to bear in mind though, the majority of child abuse takes place among people who are known to the children, i.e. a family member, friend of the family etc. So telling these particular children about sweets from strangers etc aren't going to help those children in that instance.

    The other problem is, a lot of children are too scared to speak up, in case they are not believed. Going on anecdotal evidence for a minute, a friend of mine was abused by a family member of hers. Her mother knew about this for years, and did nothing. When it eventually did come out to the rest of the family, including numerous action against her family member, the remaining family ostracised her. She is now only speaking on terms with a few of them, and was treated as the purpetrator of the actions rather than the survivor.

    Some studies have also shown that many abusers were abused children themselves (one reported incidences as high as 70%) but I don't have the statistics to hand.

    So cycle breaking, regaining trust, etc is going to take years to happen, even over generations, and won't be helped with a knee-jerk reaction to appease the tabloids.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    That's really sad, shocking. Though, if I found out that my brother or my sister had abused my neice, or baby cousins, I'm not sure how I'd react. But I know for certain, it wouldn't by my neice's or baby cousins' fault.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    right this minute my three and half year old grandson is sitting in the corner playing with toys .
    he is exceptionaly bright but ...there is no way we would even consider teaching him about sex issues!
    i pressume the thread starter knows very little if anything ...about children.

    i'd expect anyone who can articulate arguments as well as you do sir to have bright children. so how do you cope with the percieved threat of a pedophille on every corner.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i'd expect anyone who can articulate arguments as well as you do sir to have bright children. so how do you cope with the percieved threat of a pedophille on every corner.
    i don't percieve such a thing.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i'd expect anyone who can articulate arguments as well as you do sir to have bright children. so how do you cope with the percieved threat of a pedophille on every corner.
    There is no paedophile on every street corner. Nor is there a perception of that, despite the best efforts of the News of the World in recent years, following its campaign for Sarah's Law to be introduced.
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