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I feel crap + dunno how to make it better

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
in Sex & Relationships
Right here goes......

I've been with my g/f for about 4/5 months and I really, really love her. She is the most gorgeous girl EVER, and she is my dream woman.

The scary thing is, no one (including me) seems to know what the hell she sees in me. I am avergae looking at best, and yeah i can make her laugh, but i feel very insecure about it. I am supposed to be goin to uni in a few weeks, and to be honest, I am shit, shit scared that she is gonna find someone else who is better than me and I am gonna be back to square one (lonely, depressed, no confidence so on.

I want to be with her so much, I have completely fallen for her, and she says she loves me and wants to be with me soo much etc, but I just cant beleive her. Its nothing she has done/said wrong, its just i feel incapable of being loved. A lot of people at my work (we work together) have been saying a lot of things that make me feel even more insecure about our relationship, all behind my back.

I just want to be with her forever, i just want to be able to feel loved. And I dunno what to do about it.

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    If you love her as much as you say you do then you will just have to trust her. Trust is a big part of a relationship, especially one were you'll be living away.

    If she says she loves you then it doesn't matter if anyone knows why, just that you are both happy together.

    People at work are probably talking shit about you cos they're jealous that you've got a well nice girlfriend and they've all got dirty, ugly slappers. Ignore them. They're just putting you down so you'll think you don't deserve her and then they'll try and make a move on her or something. Jealousy is a bad thing.

    Have you talked to her about how you feel? Try it, it might make things better.

    I hope this all makes sense (it does in my head, i'm just not sure i've typed the right words <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif">)
    Now i'm the imposter & the real one's gone forever
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Agrees with jeffrey ^^^^.

    (((welsh dragon)))

    TRY and put ur depression and ur past behind you as much as you can, this girl sounds like she loves you to bits cos of who you are, and wouldnt leave you.

    Maybe you should try and talk to her about what you are thinking- tell her that you were depressed, and so are insecure. Shell reassure you that she loves you, and youve GOT TO BELIEVE HER- trust is everything in a relationship

    Good luck <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"&gt;
    It matters not who won or lost, but how you place the blame.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I kind of relate to what u r saying. The thing is, Im not saying your girlfriend will stray but maybe u should be prepared for it if she does. I say this coz it sounds very much like u r putting your happiness, love, confidence etc all on being with this girl. It worrries me when I hear things like this (my cousin is exactly the same) coz I think it will trash u when/if it does eventually end.
    U have to look at it like it might last forever or it might not. And if it does fizzle out then it wasnt meant to be. I no thats easier said than done but by stressing yourself over her doing it u aint letting yourself enjoy the time u have with her while u r together. Make the most of it and then at least if things fall apart u no u had a brilliant time while it lasted and hopefully u will be able to move on and find another girl if it ends. Dont make a relationship be your crutches in life...basically u shouldnt have to rely on being in a relationship for u to feel happy etc.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    you love her, rite?and she loves you,rite?
    if this is so you have just gotta trust each other and i know it's hard to ignore the others but you av to try.otherwise you will have no confidence in yourself or each other.tell every one else your happy and that's the way it'll remain even if they carry on.put on a bit of a show.they're probably jealous of you!!!i would say that it don't matter what others think but that'll be a lie coz they do put you down and it makes you feel bad which can give you no confidence in your relationship and will stop you from loving your partner.get on top of it while you can!!!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It can be really hard to believe that someone loves you and you love them - "hell, the chances of that happening are so small, why should it happen to me?"

    But the truth is, it does happen, and it sounds like you're one of the lucky ones <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"&gt; You sound like you know her character - does she seem like a girl who would either tell you she loves you without meaning it, or cheat on you, or cheat on you and not tell you?

    So what if you're "average looking at best?" Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. That axiom holds true for virtually all relationships. A friend of mine thinks my bf is ugle. I think he's gorgeous.

    The people at your workplace - what sort of things have they been saying? Does it sound like it could come from her? Chances are it doesn't and you have nothing to worry about - they're human, they bitch about other people's lives. Ignore them <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"&gt;

    Like lolly said, be careful that you're not basing your entire life around this relationship, because you do need to "develop" your self as well as your relationship with your girlfriend. This is just a friendly warning based on the number of people who get too into something that is too fragile!

    To strengthen your understanding of each other, have some confidence in yourself. Know that she sees you as someone wonderful, handsome, funny, kind, caring. Spend "quality time" together, talk about everything under the sun. Get to know her opinions, thoughts, ideas, dreams.

    good luck <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"&gt;

    Confidence is the feeling you sometimes have before you fully understand the situation.
    - Anon
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    well, im on the other end of this kinda problem. my b/f is to me gorgeous, but to other ppl, including himself, well, average! or thats what ive been told. whereas im the attractive one. or so im told...
    i love him so much and neva want to lose him, eva. we're both going to college soon and im scared he's gonna meet someone! he is the jealous type, which is annoying, but has become more confident when i constantly tell him he's gorgoeus and wonderful and the ebst thing in my life. which he is. i love him. he loves me, your girlfriend does love you, and she cant see ur view of yourself. u need to buck up ur confidence and see that. just feel good about it, she's wiht u, no one else, because she thinks ur gorgeous. k?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    god, I completely sympathise. I've been in relationships like that and its hard. But the thing is that if you don't believe in yourself a bit more and really trust her you might lose her, not because of your looks, but because it can really drag you down if your partner is unconfident. Think about it: she must want to be with you for a reason, right? Relax! She wants you and you should just go with that.
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