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I need to rant.

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
And because the person I need to rant about can read my LJ, and I can't be fucked filtering it, and I kinda need some form of adviceage, I decided to do it here.

K, so, here's the deal. Me and boy-type have been together 4 months (4 months, 1 week and 4 days, actually ;d). Before we got together there was a big hoo-hah because there was another girl that liked him and was going to ask him out a week after he asked me out (obviously she planned this beforehand, because there was a reason for that particular day she chose which ended up blowing up in her face). Obviously she couldn't, blahblahblah, end of story you may think.

HOWEVER, this girl for at least 2 1/2 months decided it would be a good idea to KEEP BEING OBSESSED WITH MY BOYFRIEND. For the first month she wouldn't stop shouting at us to "GET A FUCKING ROOM" whenever I so much as touched him, whenever I went to do something and left him, she was instantly in the same place I'd been (i.e. sitting on his knee or whatever). She would always be drama-queen-y and attention seeking to get him away from me, and as soon as he went to speak to her she was fine and dandy.

Then said girl got a boyfriend, so I thought "ok, it's fine, she'll calm it down". Did she fuck tbh. If anything it got worse, 'cause it was pretty much a blatent attempt to get him jealous. So anyway, about two months ago my friend had a party, and at this party I got a bit drunk, and when I was drunk I started bawling my eyes out about how much this had been getting to me. So boy said he'd talk to her. Boy DIDN'T talk to her, even after I told him I would if he didn't. So me being the evil girl I am text her saying I wanted to talk to her, and when she asked what about, I told her to ask boy. This was a month ago. She text me saying "I don't like JD like that anymore, you don't need to worry". And then said it to my face. Bear in mind here that during this whole period I have built up a great deal of dislike towards this girl (nobody actually really likes her apart from one of her friends and her newest boyfriend), and I don't trust her at all one bit. But I thought I'd give her the benefit of the doubt.

But blatently she DOES still like him, because she is still all "omfg JD give me attention omgomgomg". ALL THE GOD DAMN TIME. Although she has stopped biting his neck, which is something I suppose.

So, yesterday me and boy had a bit of a...not an argument...but he's not happy with me because hefoundoutIstartedsmokingagainbutthat'snotthepointk?. But we're still like, together, he's just disappointed, particularly as I did bad things last night and stuff. But I was talking to our friend earlier, and he said "Katie still likes him, you know". And I was like, eh? How do you know that? And so apparently she's been saying RECENTLY that she still thinks her and boy would be a better couple and she doesn't think me and him will last (except that this is the first time I've been even SLIGHTLY worried that he might break up with me since we first started going out, and it's been 4 months, and we've talked about our house and kids and shit). This 1) made me laugh, because he's said before now that even if he had gone out with her, he would have dumped her after two weeks and ended up with me anyway, and 2) pissed me off, because it means she BLATENTLY lied to my face and suggests that she is planning on breaking us up. Which quite frankly is NOT going to happen, because I fucking love him with every inch of my body and I'm not letting anything come between me and my JD and my actual BEING HAPPY FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER.

Now I'm wondering whether I should simmer quietly like I have been for 4 months, or talk to her. OR get boy to talk to her like he should have done in the first place. He's not happy with what she said either, so I think he might actually do it this time. He believed her when she said she wasn't interested anymore, so I think this is a kick in the arse for him.

Blimey heck that was long, wasn't it. For all you wonderful (if few) people that managed to get through all that, thank you very much and I will now love you and leave you and thank you in advance for any replies you may have.

xxx

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    He should make it clear that he isn't interested!

    I had an ex like this but tbh I think he liked the attention. I'm not saying THE BOY does but if she sits on his lap he should fooking push her off..Same for the neck biting thang.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Rachael wrote:
    He should make it clear that he isn't interested!

    I had an ex like this but tbh I think he liked the attention. I'm not saying THE BOY does but if she sits on his lap he should fooking push her off..Same for the neck biting thang.
    She's stopped doing that now. It was made very clear that I was NOT amused by it.

    She still has a thing for his attention though :yeees:.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    theres probably not any point in getting the boy to talk to her, he needs to want to himself really.

    Let him know how much its upsetting you, is it upsetting him too? or do you reckon he's secretly enjoying the attention?

    She sounds really annoying, ive known people that are similar, just so attention craving all the fucking time. Best way to get the better of them is to completely ignore them.

    But to be honest, the boy shouldnt be happy with the excessive attention from her. He should be telling her to nob off
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I agree with Rachael.

    Get him to talk to her and make sure she knows he isn't interested.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    If she has had a crush on him for this long then they cant really function properly as 'normal' mates then can they?

    She's only interested in him for le sex or whatever and he isnt going to give her le sex soooo.....this is where I think their 'relationship' should come to an end. Hehe. STAND UR GROUND GIRL.

    Personally, I wouldnt go upto her and be all 'BACK OFF BITCH TITS HE IS MY MANNN' because this shows that you are rather narked and maybe even feel insecure about this and being the pleb that she is this will make her happy sooo.......

    The only way you can get her to fook off altogether is if you give JD a kick in the bollox and he tells her where to go himself.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Rachael wrote:
    The only way you can get her to fook off altogether is if you give JD a kick in the bollox and he tells her where to go himself.
    I can't do that, I need his bollocks for our babies! He rarely comes as it is (different issue, different issure) ;p.

    I think I shall talk to him tomorrow. Wait...Friday, because I'm stuck in college doing shitting GROUP FUCKING 4 tomorrow, while he's at a stupid pool party with our friends which I couldn't have done properly anyway because of the twattish thing I did to my stomach last night. TWATALERT. Meh.

    No, I will talk to him. Tell him it's fucking me off. He's still not happy though because of the smoking thing, but meh. He did get MOST pissed off when Stuart told us what she'd said today, and he is fully aware how upset I get over it. Particularly when he saw me drunkenly crying over it.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    you go girlfriend! *clicks fingers in that weird way*
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hehehe. You do make me larrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrf Rach :D.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    yay cheerz :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Didn't you talk to me about this months aggggooo? :p

    You haven't got it sorted yet?

    Personally, I'd get the boy in order. My ex (you know which one I'm going on about) used to love the attention he got off other girls. He loved the fact that other girls liked him and used it as an attempt to make me jealous and make me feel insecure as he used to flirt with them back.

    You need to talk to him darlin, you need to sit down properly and tell him how you really feel. To be honest, him finding out about you smoking shouldn't interfere with this. Tell him how bad its making you feel. Tell him you want him to tell her to back off. However, as Blah has said, theres no point if he actually doesn't want to. He shouldn't want this girl to carry on behaving like this if it is upsetting you.

    I hope you sort it out darling, you've been so happy in these past 4 months. I like the happy Franki :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I'm finding it hard to see what the problem is. You're with him, and he conversly is with you, and that is what currently matters. Clearly this girl is the worlds biggest loser, which is her problem. If he's not cheating, there's no problem. Relax.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I was in a similar situation, and it started off innocent enough (well, flirting ridiculously so that loads of people at school thought she'd broke up with me and started going out with him!) but then he started to take it more seriously and made some advances on her. :mad: But anyway, I don't think anything I could have said or done would have made a difference, I told my girlfriend I was upset by them being affectionate, I asked her to talk to him, she did kind of, but then I talked to him, and he was like 'oh yea that's ok I know she loves you and not me, I just want to be friends with her, she's one of my best friends'.

    But when he started doing major major things, although at the time she didn't stop him, afterwards it was a big wake up call for her and she doesn't really speak to him anymore. Though I think she wants to break the ice again so they're on talking terms. But anyway, yea, other than shooting her I can't see what you can do. Can I come down and shoot her for you? Really hating losers who try to break up people who are happy in a relationship cos they're selfish... £#@$"$!!!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i was in a similar-ish situation when i first started going out with my bf in 2004. There was a girl who was a year older than me that he knew from archery, who liked him. Now cause she went to an all girls school she didn't have a clue about what to do. And basically kept dropping loads of hints then running away, and then getting her mates involved and making it all very confusing.
    Like she invited him to a house party then spent all night crying because he was talking to other people and not talking to her. Anyways, he started going out with me and she got uber jealous, saying i was too young and sending her friends in to where he worked after school to ask him questions about me and stuff.
    Very annoying really cause she'd be texting him when she knew he was with me and being very annoying, picking arguments and shit. Then we broke up and it stopped, but i don't think she tried to get with him, cause she stopped coming to archery and he hasn't seen her for ages.
    Twas annoying as i never even met the girl, so i never had to confront her. Just explain to the boy that its fucking you off and that she keeps lying to you and get him to put his foot down.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Ballerina wrote:
    i was in a similar-ish situation when i first started going out with my bf in 2004. There was a girl who was a year older than me that he knew from archery, who liked him. Now cause she went to an all girls school she didn't have a clue about what to do. And basically kept dropping loads of hints then running away, and then getting her mates involved and making it all very confusing.
    Like she invited him to a house party then spent all night crying because he was talking to other people and not talking to her. Anyways, he started going out with me and she got uber jealous, saying i was too young and sending her friends in to where he worked after school to ask him questions about me and stuff.
    Very annoying really cause she'd be texting him when she knew he was with me and being very annoying, picking arguments and shit. Then we broke up and it stopped, but i don't think she tried to get with him, cause she stopped coming to archery and he hasn't seen her for ages.
    Twas annoying as i never even met the girl, so i never had to confront her. Just explain to the boy that its fucking you off and that she keeps lying to you and get him to put his foot down.

    By the sounds of things, the girl only wanted your bf because you had him and she was jealous.

    And Franki - talk to him. You could try talking to her as well or get a friend of hers to talk to her.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You won't like this but i would be wondering why hes not telling her where to get off.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Tweety wrote:
    You won't like this but i would be wondering why hes not telling her where to get off.
    :yes:
    I cant help but think if some girl started biting MY boys neck or sitting on his lap that he would tell her to fuck off whether he thought id be upset by it or not.
    Same here vice versa. youre either in a relationship or not. I think it sounds to me like hes giving mixed signals, and if hes only telling her off because YOU dont like it, rather than him not liking it either, and I hope to GOD hes not telling her "you cant do that cos Frankie doesnt like it" because then its making it to a "him and her against you" situation and it means hes playing the both of you off agaisnt each other because it keeps his self esteem nice and high.
    I think he likes the attention off both of you. Two girls fighting over him. Lovely!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    :yes:
    I cant help but think if some girl started biting MY boys neck or sitting on his lap that he would tell her to fuck off whether he thought id be upset by it or not.
    Same here vice versa. youre either in a relationship or not. I think it sounds to me like hes giving mixed signals, and if hes only telling her off because YOU dont like it, rather than him not liking it either, and I hope to GOD hes not telling her "you cant do that cos Frankie doesnt like it" because then its making it to a "him and her against you" situation and it means hes playing the both of you off agaisnt each other because it keeps his self esteem nice and high.
    I think he likes the attention off both of you. Two girls fighting over him. Lovely!
    thats what i was thinking tbh, i know when my bfs been out, a mates girlfriend has sat on his knee, but its just harmless - especially as her bf was there anyway. But if a girl came on to him, he would push her off and tell her to stop straight away.
    She needs a good slap, and so does he by the sounds of it. And being annoyed at you for smoking is no excuse tbh because its totally unrelated.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Ballerina wrote:
    . And being annoyed at you for smoking is no excuse tbh because its totally unrelated.
    :yes:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Aww man, I freakin hate these situations.

    Sounds like you've done your bit. She knows exactly how you feel. Your bf just needs to tell her to piss off and let her know how he feels about it. Some threats might be nice too. Or maybe not.

    But I've been in this situation too many times (my ex was freakin hott and everyone wanted him and thought I wasn't good enough) and it's not fun. Once he's honest with her, she can just go cry to her own bf.

    NB. Sorry if this reply was a bit rubbish. Your post just made me think about my own experiences. GRR!
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