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Worrying in a New Relationship...

Three weeks ago I entered what I would consider to be a perfect relationship with a girl who I could only ever have dreamed of.

She is truly amazing and can't begin to describe her. She is fun to be with, cute, affectionate, caring, considerate, lovable, great looking, smart, sexy, understanding and is everything I could possibly wish for in a girlfriend, and more. I think about her 24/7 and always want to be with her as she completes me and I feel lonely when she isn't there.

I have never been in a relationship before and sadly, I lack in experience. The only experience I have had with a girl was hurtful and wrong.

I am really happy that I have found this girl and already have feelings for her and I feel complete inside. Yet, a few days ago I started to panic about everything and feel insecure and unsettled. I couldn't believe that everything was going so well and I guess because im not used to being in a relationship I found the whole thing very new and scary.

The worst thing is I started to think "I really like her but what if I don't fall madly in love with her or my feelings for her don't grow anymore than they have and I find out I don't like her that way". I blindly and confusingly tried to explain this to her as a progression of thought and I completely ruined everything by making her think I didn't love her or want to be with her. I got really upset about it because I just couldn't explain my worries properly to her.

I went and had a chat with a friend last night because it was on my mind. He told me that when you start seeing someone you may really like them, start to have feelings for them and love their characteristics and want things to progress, but you can't really say that you are "madly in-love" with that person, that strongly, at that time. He said that feelings like that grow in time and come naturally when you are spending lots of time with someone who you find attractive and who you enjoy being with. It made me realise that I know for a fact my feelings are growing for her already and I can't wait to be with her and that I just panicked about the whole thing. I also realised that I have never, ever met a girl before who I liked so quickly and who I realised that things could definitely be more than just friends and I came away feeling a lot more settled.

I was just wondering if anyone has had similar experiences when they started their first relationship, worrying and panicking?...

* sings 'I wanna know what love is, I want you to show me' *

Beep boop. I'm a bot.

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    hey shy guy...

    anyone who can quote foreigner is okay in my book. <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"&gt;

    shy_guy... when it comes down to it, you love with your heart not your head. the mind only taints it by making you think too much about stuff that hasn't even happened you.

    love is not something that is ever guaranteed and you know that. just because she's everything you want doesn't mean you're gonna fall madly in love with her dude.

    what's going to happen is you fancy her, you go out with her, you have fun, you get close, and maybe you fall in love. but you have to let it happen naturally. you know what the possibilites are when you date. either it works out or it doesn't. if you sit around thinking about it not working out like you are, then you are squandering the chance to get to know this woman you seem to care an awful lot about. stop worry about what might happen and start thinking about what is happening.

    if you love this girl, then you will love all of her. and if you make the discovery that you don't, well then deal with that when you come to it, not before.

    good luck dude. and live for the moment. <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"&gt;
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thankx, I know what you are saying is true. Im just a natural worrier, I worry about anything and everything. Especially major things to me like this. Fact is, I do love her and im going to do everything in my power to make it work and to stay with her and have a good time. She is well worth the effort and Id be lost without her. I already have feelings for her and this is just after a few weeks. I know this is right, I just wish she believed me.

    [This message has been edited by shy_guy_2001 (edited 28-06-2001).]
  • Girl-From-MarsGirl-From-Mars Posts: 2,822 Boards Guru
    maybe when she reads this she'll be more sure <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"&gt; <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"&gt; <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"&gt;

    "That which does not kill us makes us stronger."
    ~ Nietzsche
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    hehehehe

    yup yup <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"&gt;

    There's a girl in my mirror
    I wonder who she is
    Sometimes I think I know her
    Sometimes I really wish I did
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thats cool, its good to know that you like her for her heart, and not whats downstairs. <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"&gt; I envy you.
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