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*depressed sigh*
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Recently my sex life has turned down a bit. I'll spare you the details, but it boils down to a lot less attention / rarrr / lets have sex to a lot more 'i'm tired', or watching tv, etc. I feel like I'm in a married couple. Whilst this is only a mild-ish problem, it's kind of a symptom of less affection recently. It's bothering me.
So, how do I kick start the sex? We did tonight, then were going to go again but she changed her mind. Then I threw a little fuss up about it
and she said she wanted to, but certainly didn't give that impression.
Just when you think you understand women, it just gets confusing.
So, how do I kick start the sex? We did tonight, then were going to go again but she changed her mind. Then I threw a little fuss up about it
and she said she wanted to, but certainly didn't give that impression.Just when you think you understand women, it just gets confusing.
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after nearly 4 years my gf and my sex life is going down hill, although some of it is due to exams/coursework and stuff, which is totally understandable. it's possible to attribute her decreasing sex drive partially to the pill too, as that's a possible side effect. affection's still very much there, just not the sex
I suggest tying her up and having your way with her (if she's into that of course) might be fun! but, these things are usually due to other things, like stress, and too much work etc. ask her
..and because she doesnt seem bothered its not much motivation to 'tie her up' or do anything exciting. I just like to sit here feeling sorry for myself. It's not just the sex, its affection in general kinda. We are a lot like an old married couple at the minute. I wanna be an old married couple with loads of passion.
We've been going out very nearly 2 years. Been thinking whether our time is up. Would be inconvenient with a) our anniversary coming up b) a holiday together coming up. I'm hoping this is just a temporary blip.
I'd ask her what's up to be honest, ask her if she can have a think about what she thinks the problem might be, then talk to you about it :yes:
Of course, as she's been unfaithful, this may raise a more serious issue. Does she still find you sexually attractive? If the answer is no, you're in trouble.
You see, I think she does, but I need to get her in the mood. Then she'll start getting turned on and rubbing her hands over my chest etc. etc. but before then she's just... disinterested. I might give her a little space, it's not that I'll pressure her or anything, just sometimes she gives the impression she might like to... then forgets about it (i.e. pretend we're watching TV she'll rub my over my trousers and then thats it).
Its a bit annoying because afterwards she usually ends up saying sorry, and it's not that I want her to be sorry, I'd prefer she just relaxed and was really happy with me, sex or no sex. But when she gives a bit of mixed signals and then gets upset, it gets to me. When we had sex tonight, because things have been topsy turvy, I didn't enjoy it as much because I was worrying whether it was ok, in a way.
I dunno, her cheating on me upset me obviously but I think it's also knocked my confidence back that I didn't notice, and now I'm a bit less confident I won't 'sweep her off her feet' so then she doesn't really seem bothered. But surely if I was that sexy then she'd think that whether I was trying to be or not? I know in the morning when she's got sleep in her eyes and her hairs a mess she's just sex on legs!
As for her being "sex on legs" in the morning - have you ever told her that? Could be very flattering for her, to say the least.
Well, I don't necessarily try to take things further, just I suppose I expect them to, but she kinda leaves it there. Maybe thats all she wanted, or maybe she changed her mind. I'm always telling her lovely she looks. I feel a bit weird because this guy who she was unfaithful with... well they were flirting before anything happened and he used to tell her all the time she looked beautiful. I felt a bit like an echo, after she was in a good mood because he'd been doting on her then I was just like... 'errr your hair looks nice today'.
Holiday should be fun, even if we don't get along my brothers over in Thailand and he's said I can go out on the bike
I really do want a cuddle from her at the minute though because they are so amazing! At least she still gives me lots of cuddles all the time
Yeah i agree, sometimes i get so stressed i just cry because i think i'm going to fail and nothing seems to sink in, but then when my bouyfriend comes around all those worries are gone and all i want is to be close to him, not as far away as possible and no sex.
Does seem a little weird but i suppose everybody is different. Maybe it is still guilt from her cheating, or maybe there is something else she isn't telling you.
Maybe this goes deeper....but i'd wait till her exams are done and see if things improve.
i get stressed too, believe me. tired and everything too.
but having sex doesn't stop my concentration for the rest of the week!
Am i the only one that remembers Shyboy when he was like 14!? :eek2:
shyboy is 14. :yes:
I remember when I was 14....
Anyway, we did have a talk about stuff, not sure what is happening though. She said for the past couple of weeks she's just been fed up with sex - it doesn't feel special anymore. Have to kinda agree with her, there is a kinda tension between us.
If only I had something I could concentrate on slowly.
I dont know, we did talk about it, and it seemed it wasn't the actual sex, it was just the comfort level between us sometimes, it's like we're tensed up and she doesn't enjoy it so much because we're not 'on the same level'. But when we are, i.e. have a nice evening together where we don't worry about anything, she enjoys herself. It's just these days those kind of evenings are rare, because even when we make time for ourselves something seems to get in the way (i.e. bad day).
Going to see her after work tonight, hopefully should be ok... just need to try to relax really.
Sounds mucho depressing.
I agree! That's why I want to sort it out or move on, and I've spoke to her and got the idea across that's where I am now after all the trouble recently, but - and this is peculiar - she won't speak. She just sits there and won't say a word. I say to her, what does she want to say, and she just... says nothing. It's really weird, like I'm having conversations with myself. I've told her to her face I'm seriously considering whether we're better off single... almost no reaction. She did say she likes spending time with me... but I don't know. I said just as I was leaving that if she worked out what she wanted to say that I was here to listen. She didn't say anything though! (she's not completely mute, but she'll talk about things like holidays, TV etc.)
Maybe... but she's coming round tomorrow and maybe that will be a turning point? Or a nail in the coffin. I am the ultimate in putting things off. I won't let it be stupid though, like my last girlfriend who didn't see me for three weeks then hung out with me and told me she didn't love me anymore. Mind you, she had asked beforehand how I'd react if she broke up with me.
Anyone for a rebound? :shocking: (just kidding, in case people think im a weird pervert)
We spent 6 hours on rollercoaster tycoon 3
Well she did, I watched. She hogs the mouse something wicked.
Good to have things going in the right direction again
I read that and went "Oh no! They've broken up!
Good to see you havent