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Missing Element?

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
Heya,

Ive met up with someone twice who I fancy and am starting to like more and more gradually. However, I think there may be an element missing. When we are out and about together the touchy feely thing seems not to exist! I know we have only just started seeing eachother, but Ive been used to having this with previous people. Do you think it may come soon naturally? Or are we too similar in nature that neither of us makes a move or a bit platonic? Thinking next time I meet them I will be more touchy feely when out and see how they react. What do you reckon?

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    sometimes you can really like someone, and they seem perfect, but the chemistry is missing.
    You cant fake that.

    Is that what you mean?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Maybe this person just isn't a touchy feely kind of person.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    sometimes you can really like someone, and they seem perfect, but the chemistry is missing.
    You cant fake that.

    Is that what you mean?

    Well there is chemistry in the bedroom ;) but its just there are no random displays of affection etc when out. I mean its just casual at the moment, but Im just a bit worried. I mean maybe we are just too busy chatting or both of us are a little shy perhaps or are giving eachother mixed signals? I mean we have just met so maybe I shouldnt worry and it will just fall into place.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    my_name wrote:
    Maybe this person just isn't a touchy feely kind of person.

    Yeah could be!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    maybe because you're not being touch feely, they thing that you dont want them to be?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Well there is chemistry in the bedroom ;) but its just there are no random displays of affection etc when out.
    There could be two things up here. Maybe the guy doesn't like displaying his feelings in public. I must admit I was at first. Now though, I'll hug, hold her hand and kiss a girl in public and I couldn't care less what anyone else thinks! If, however, that isn't the problem, this is where things get difficult.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    stargalaxy wrote:
    There could be two things up here. Maybe the guy doesn't like displaying his feelings in public. I must admit I was at first. Now though, I'll hug, hold her hand and kiss a girl in public and I couldn't care less what anyone else thinks! If, however, that isn't the problem, this is where things get difficult.

    Erm...well its a girl for starters. Thing is I dont want to be all over them and annoy them either! Its hard when you havnt known someone long!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Erm...well its a girl for starters.
    Ah... well, I tend to notice that women are more touchy-feely than men, they tend to be more comfortable with it. It depends how much she keeps herself to herself. If she's shielding herself from you, (such as crossing her arms, or keeping a large gap between you when you're, say, walking together, for instance) bad sign!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    stargalaxy wrote:
    Ah... well, I tend to notice that women are more touchy-feely than men, they tend to be more comfortable with it. It depends how much she keeps herself to herself. If she's shielding herself from you, (such as crossing her arms, or keeping a large gap between you when you're, say, walking together, for instance) bad sign!

    Nah, its not like shes shielding herself...maybe shes unsure of what I want?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i would say give it a while My boyfriend and I didn't get to that stage for what felt like forever. He later admitted how worried he was about it explaining why it took so long. You could always make the 1st move yourself
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Nah, its not like shes shielding herself...maybe shes unsure of what I want?
    Why not take her to one side and let her know? ;)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Blairx0 wrote:
    i would say give it a while My boyfriend and I didn't get to that stage for what felt like forever. He later admitted how worried he was about it explaining why it took so long. You could always make the 1st move yourself

    Yeah thats what I was thinking...Ill try something next time subtley and see what reaction I get!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Yeah thats what I was thinking...Ill try something next time subtley and see what reaction I get!
    How subtle are we talking here? :p
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    stargalaxy wrote:
    How subtle are we talking here? :p

    :) Hehe just find the right moment I guess!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    :) Hehe just find the right moment I guess!
    Try looking at her, and making sure she catches you looking, and smile at her. Maybe touch her hand. Speaking as a guy, when a girl does that to me, I find it pleasantly reassuring. Just don't leap on her, you don't wanna scare her! :p
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    stargalaxy wrote:
    Try looking at her, and making sure she catches you looking, and smile at her. Maybe touch her hand. Speaking as a guy, when a girl does that to me, I find it pleasantly reassuring. Just don't leap on her, you don't wanna scare her! :p

    :) yeah sounds about right.
  • **helen****helen** Mod malarkist Posts: 9,235 Listening Ear
    I think there may be an element missing. When we are out and about together the touchy feely thing seems not to exist!?

    Hi there,

    Welcome to TheSite :)
    We have an article on public displays of affection which you might interesting. You say you might just try touching your partner next time you're out which may well work out, but it may be that they feel quite shy about it, or actually don't like the idea at all -so you might find it helps to talk to them about some of the issues in the article to gauge their reaction to pdas, rather than just leaping in there. I know it doesn't sound like the most romantic solution, but If you do decide to talk about it you may just find your new squeeze is desperate for you to kiss/touch them in public. Whatever the outcome, communication is often a good way forward - good luck ;)
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