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Things we have learn from porn...

MixBotMixBot Posts: 8,656 Automated Account
1. Women wear high heels to bed.

2. Men are never impotent.

3. When going down on a woman, 10 seconds is more than satisfactory.

4. If a woman gets busted masturbating by a strange man, she will not scream with embarassment, but rather insist he have sex with her.

5. Women smile appreciatively when men splat them in the face with sperm.

6. Women enjoy having sex with ugly, middle-aged men.

7. Women moan uncontrollably when giving a blowjob.

8. Women always orgasm when men do.

9. A blowjob will always get a woman off a speeding ticket.

10. All women make noise..

11. People in the 70's couldn't fuck unless there was a wild guitar solo in the background.

12. Those tits are real.

13. A common and enjoyable sexual practice for a man is to take his half-erect penis and slap it repeatedly on a woman's butt.

14. Men always groan "OH YEAH" when they cum.

15. If there are two of them they "high five" each other (and the girl isn't disgusted).

16. Double penetration makes a woman smile.

17. Asian men don't exist.

18. If you come across a guy and his girlfriend having sex in the bushes, the boyfriend doesn't knock the piss out of you if you shove your cock in his girlfriend's mouth.

19. There's a plot.

20. When taking a woman from behind, a man can really excite her by giving her a gentle slap on the butt.

21. Nurses suck patients' cocks.

22. Men always pull out.

23. When your girlfriend busts you getting head from her best friend, she'll only be momentarily pissed off before she fucks both of you.

24. Women never have headaches....or periods.

25. When a woman is sucking a man's cock, it's important for him to remind her to "suck it".

26. Assholes are clean.

27. A man ejaculating on a woman's butt is a satisfying result for all parties concerned.

28. Women always look pleasantly surprised when they open a man's trousers and find a cock there.

29. Men don't have to beg.

30. When standing during a blowjob, a man will always place one hand firmly on the back of the kneeling woman's head and the other proudly on his hip.
Beep boop. I'm a bot.

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    That's excellent.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    28. Women always look pleasantly surprised when they open a man's trousers and find a cock there.

    :lol:

    Funny stuff.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    \
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    18 and 23 :lol:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    :lol: that's great.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    More then one bloke I've been with seems to think no. 20 is true!
  • Teh_GerbilTeh_Gerbil Stalin's Organist Posts: 13,327
    27. A man ejaculating on a woman's butt is a satisfying result for all parties concerned.


    HAHAHA.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Teh_Gerbil wrote:
    27. A man ejaculating on a woman's butt is a satisfying result for all parties concerned.


    HAHAHA.

    No it not. More preferably then them coming elsewhere (i.e my back, my stomach...)
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