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Am I being used?

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
Hello everyone, I was looking across the web for some help, and happened to come across this board. My story is a bit long, but I hope you will bear with me.

I met this girl in my high school a year ago, and I began to like her starting 8 months ago. I am not exactly the most open of people when it comes to sharing feelings, so I kept my feelings completely bottled up.

I watched her over time get into a serious relationship with a guy, and something in me clicked that I should back off. She was in a colorguard at my hs, and since my sister was in it, I would ride along in the bus to help unload equipment. Her bf was always with her, until one day I noticed he wasn't.

At that point, I began getting closer and closer to her. It was shortly after that, that she broke up with him, basically saying she was nothing more than arm candy to him. I spent countless nights on aim talking to her about how she should approach things without him, and I made sure to try to console her over her grief. It was during this time I felt my heart grow even closer to her, and things began to become a bit unbearable.

Well, our band went on a huge trip, and she happened to come on it, because the guard was loosely associated with the band. I thought to myself in my head, gee, this is a great opportunity to get to know her closer, and made the biggest mistake of making sure I was always around her.

The first 2 days things were cool, but things soon turned quite sour. She stopped talking to me, and refused to accept any offers I made to help her, or ask her if she was ok. It wasn't until later, that I heard she began calling me awful things in her hotel room.

I kept trying to talk to her for the next to days. Every time she would tell me not now. Enough people told me that she was treating me like crap, so I heeded their advice, and spaced myself from her.

The first week was really rough, every time I saw her smile with other people, and completely ignore me, my heart broke into a million pieces. Thoughts of what went wrong plagued my mind, and I couldn't quite figure out what I had done wrong.

After 3 weeks of being seperated, with a few mild breaks of light messeging (and I mean light), we finally began to talk again, and although it was slow, we have been talking for 5-6 hour stretches, only barred by being up untill the wee hours of the morning. All seems ok now, although I still harbor some feeling for her, I try my best to be her best friend.

However, my friend tells me he doesn't get me. He tells me that she doesn't deserve for me to let her off so easily after all the horrible things she said about me. He believes I am just a pawn to her, and she knows she has complete control over me because she knows I will do anything out of my help her. ( which is true, I always try to help others).

So my question is, is she using me? My friend cites he has been through this before, and that I should just show her that I am over her by not offering her so much help, and so on. He even went so far to call me a puppet.

Is he right? Thank you for your help!


  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    So you still don't know why she went off at you?

    That's really odd. I think you should ask her, and if she gets spazzy again, don;t go back to her.

    Find out from people what went wrong.

    It may be that she's using you now... rebound or something.

    Good luck :)
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