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need help/advice about moving in/living with gf

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
in Sex & Relationships
Okay, here's the situation. My girlfriend and I live about 500 miles apart. We met online and have visited each other several times. We had always thought one of us would eventually move in with the other because that would be about the only way we could be together all the time. Now that I'm 19 and am going to get my drivers liscense soon and will be finished with my schooling that will allow me to make a decent income I was going to move in with her. But a couple days ago she tells me that she doesn't feel ready for this serious of a relationship and that it feels too grown-up. I don't really know what to do because I don't know what other options there are. We both love each other very much and want to be with each other. I also know it's a very big commitment for everybody, me especially since I'll be moving away from everything I know and getting a job there and all. I also asked older people how hard it was to live with somebody they love and they said if it's the right person it's not hard at all. Anyway, I just really am not sure what to do. I had thought of listing out everything that would encompass me moving there/living with her and then talking about it all and then maybe we'd have a better idea of what to do. I don't get to talk to my girlfriend very often though so it could take quite some time for us to discuss everything. Anyway, please help me out here. Thanks.

Edit: she also said that either way, whether we live together, or break up because we can't, that she would feel like she was being forced to do something she doesn't want to do.

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Why don't you try just renting or buying a place closer to her for now and then you can each stay at each other's places every so often and see how it works?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Sidtec wrote:
    Why don't you try just renting or buying a place closer to her for now and then you can each stay at each other's places every so often and see how it works?

    That sounds like a good idea, just moving closer will allow you to see a bit more of her an to see if its right
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Sidtec wrote:
    Why don't you try just renting or buying a place closer to her for now and then you can each stay at each other's places every so often and see how it works?

    Yeah thats what i was going to suggest... I'm in a long distance relationship with my bloke and i he said he was going to move up here and us live together i would freak out as i'm not ready for that kind of commitment. Doesn't mean that i dont love him, just that i don't want that right now. So move closer, even the same town, but if you rent your own place, its not as commited, but you get to see her more, its a compromise :)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    As people have suggested moving near her and renting a place or whatever would be a good idea.

    I have been in a long distance relationship for just over 3 years and I am moving closer to him on Saturday. I am just renting a room out in a house and then we can see how our relationship goes living nearer each other. If it works out fine then we are going to get a place together.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I brainstormed about everything and then suggested that i move in with her for no longer than two months, during which time i would get a job and save up money and go apartment hunting. then i would get my own place and if she felt so inclined as to moving in with me at a later date that would be fine and she agree.
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