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help! how do i get this relationship off the ground!

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
ok, last friday i asked the girl of my dreams out, she happily said yes. i was ecstatic. we've known each other for a long time, shes really hot and she has the greatest personality in the school. shes perfect. she had family plans all weekend so we hugged and said we'd see each other next week. today in school i had two periods of the same class with her. we sat next to each other and talked but she didn't seem quite as happy as she had been on friday. we sat next to each other at lunch and talked. we held hands walking back to class but it was still like she wasn't very happy about something. back in class i asked her if next weekend she wanted to catach a movie. she didn't say anything for a moment then said "I would but i have to go my friends birthday party". "on a friday night?" I asked. "ya on a friday night".

it was an incredibly blatant lie. I was extremely put off after that and we kind of just worked in silence for the remainder of period. I didn't see her after that.

wtf is wrong? I thought things were going great. I really really really want this relationship to work. any advice?

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Talk to her. I know it sounds obvious, but its the best thing. She may have had a bad weekend and so is upset, she also may have had a change of heart :( Talk to her.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    bringing up a conflict the day after i start going out with the girl of my dreams?


    ...

    are you high?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It's not a conflict. Would you rather her stay miserable and not do anything because you're afraid of finding out what's wrong? If you want this relationship to work, you need to start with an open and honest relationship
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I suppose....................
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    So see how the next few days go, and if its not better, then talk to her, and let us now how it went :)

    I hope it all goes well for you :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    alright i guess i'll wait a little while
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Whats so unusual about a friend having a birthday bash on a friday, many people go out for their birthdays at the weekend when its busy
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    it was the great hesitation. it seemed like a very forced lie
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    maybe peope hesitate because they have other things on their minds
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    doubt it
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    doubt it

    if you are so set in your mind about it, then its probly pointless asking advice from any of us, and that you and her are not right for each other
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    no offense but i don't really think you get what i mean by "hesitate". I don't think thats the best word to describe it
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    im trying to assume it was just simply hesitation, cause if it was then i and others can offer help and advice

    otherwise i personally think its a lost cause
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    no it wasn't a hesitation that was a bad word to describe it. it was more like this.

    me: hey wanna catch a movie this weekend?
    her: I can't i have a birthday party this weekend
    (this is the red flag, a birthday party would only take 1 day a weekend is 3 days includeing friday)
    me: on friday?
    her:.......... ya friday
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Leave it. Because clearly you don't trust her.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Why didn't you ask about Sunday then? Why are you asking for advice if all you do is question what everyone's saying?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Leave it. Because clearly you don't trust her.
    Give him a little bit of a break, it's hard to trust someone you don't think should be with you in the first place. You're always second guessing yourself.

    That being said, OP, you need to ask her if there's anything wrong, because like everyone else has said if you don't start out caring about each other, it's already over.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    ok^
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    hmmmmmmmm today went great she was flirtatious and acting like herself. i asked her if she had had a bad weekend and she gave me and wierd look and said no.

    maybe i'm just extremely paranoid?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I think you need to analyse things a bit more.

    Nah man, just try and chill. Things will be a happenin if you let them.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Just snog her face off and see how she responds, that's a good indicator of whether she likes you or not.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It probably was that you were being paranoid. Its a fault with many of us ;)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i feel stupid >_>

    at the moment *looks around suspicously*
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Haha, don't worry. It happens to me all the time. It's a good learning curve
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    OK right well you have to chill out a bit firstly

    She was holding your hand and sitting next to you in class - that's a pretty big indication that she likes you - so take things one step at a time.

    Maybe she was hesitating because she really wanted to go out with you and didn't know how to say that she was buzy on that day.

    I would leave it a few days and then try and arrange something else - maybe a full on date is a little scary for her - how about a joint study session or something - with pizza!

    But overall you just have to take things softly softly at the moment you dont' want to scare her off by accusing her of lying or jumping to the wrong conclusion all the time. Girls like a guy who has confidence but also is quite chilled out and has a little air of mystary.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    wow....................

    after just under a week of going out this is by FAR the best relationship i've had. if i can safely say that after a week of going out then i know somethings going right

    and i guess shes not avoiding me or anything because she invited me to her house this weekend :heart:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Good then.

    Try not to let it turn into one of them things when you're either in the depths of despair or jumping for joy (me = alliteration GOD) because that'll just fuck your head up.

    You'll find a happy medium and you'll be sorted.
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