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a cry for help...
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Hi there folks. Could use any help you are willing to throw at me. Bear with me, it's a long one....
Okay so i've been going with my bf for 3 years now. We get along great, but it's kinda settled down into a rut, and it seems like the spark we had has gone. I am away at uni (quite a distance) and only see him when i get home for holidays. The thing is that the sex has also gone downhill and it doesn't excite me anymore.
This is where it gets interesting... I met this guy in a pub and we really sparked it off. I mean the chemistry was just sooo intense. Anyway we swapped numbers (know i shouldn't have) and he called the next week. We went out, and it was just so weird. The chemistry was still there, and so was the alcohol. Needless to say the next morning i was not alone.
I really regret it, but only cause i know it would crush my boyfriend if he ever found out. Now the other guy has says he's falling for me and wants to be with me. He doesn't know about my bf.
I promised myself that i would end it with bf when i got home for christmas, but since i've been back it's been nice, and we've settled into things again. He thinks everything is ok, but still the sex is lacking on my side of things. I just can't bring myself/find the way to end things with him.
Therefore my problem is this, when i'm at uni i obviously miss bf, but can't stop thinking about the other guy. When i'm home i like being with bf, but would need hell of lot of work on physical side to work if i decided that was the way to go. Please help.
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Okay so i've been going with my bf for 3 years now. We get along great, but it's kinda settled down into a rut, and it seems like the spark we had has gone. I am away at uni (quite a distance) and only see him when i get home for holidays. The thing is that the sex has also gone downhill and it doesn't excite me anymore.
This is where it gets interesting... I met this guy in a pub and we really sparked it off. I mean the chemistry was just sooo intense. Anyway we swapped numbers (know i shouldn't have) and he called the next week. We went out, and it was just so weird. The chemistry was still there, and so was the alcohol. Needless to say the next morning i was not alone.
I really regret it, but only cause i know it would crush my boyfriend if he ever found out. Now the other guy has says he's falling for me and wants to be with me. He doesn't know about my bf.
I promised myself that i would end it with bf when i got home for christmas, but since i've been back it's been nice, and we've settled into things again. He thinks everything is ok, but still the sex is lacking on my side of things. I just can't bring myself/find the way to end things with him.
Therefore my problem is this, when i'm at uni i obviously miss bf, but can't stop thinking about the other guy. When i'm home i like being with bf, but would need hell of lot of work on physical side to work if i decided that was the way to go. Please help.
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Comments
You like the safe haven of your b/f, but want the fresh of your new blokey.
Go with the new, okay he excites u now, but if it dies off at least u are free to go for someone else, at the moment you are afraid to chance it, but go on, chance it or you will regret it.
Have fun, and if it all goes wrong, you can blame me! (*wishes he was in her shoes*)
o yer happy new year
Either way you should confess that you got a bit drunk and were unfaithful.
How would you feel if he had been with someone else?
HTis whole hting oculd be your sub conscious telling you that it's time for your long term relationship to end. BEcause if the sex is lacking to you, then it is most likely lacking to him and you may have lost yourself in the routine of being with him because it is safe. There's nothing wrong with that. But you have to tell him the truth, there is no right way, you just have to tell him and explain that it was just time for it to end. And the only way you realised that was when you let yourself go with another guy.
You are at uni. Time to let go of high school and move on to this new bloke and have a laugh!!
Happy new year!!
-moogs
thanks for all of ur advice. i am kinda realising that it would be best if i was to take a break from my boyfriend to assess things.
the thing is i need to call on u all again. don't know how i break it to him?!? any ideas. the last thing i want to do is to hurt him. he's my best friend as well as my boyfriend. know he'll hate me, but i don't want to lose him forever. help?
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Just DONT tell him that youve been unfaithful, if he wont find out then dont dump the bad feelings on him. Just tell him that the spark aint there no more (which it aint), but dont tell him that you dont find him attractive or nice to be around as mates. And dont dump him over the phone, or if he comes to visit you.
Hell get over it, but no matter how yuou tell him it will hurt. But it will hurt a hell of a lot more if he ever finds out that youve been stringing him along.