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Jealousy Of Sexual Pasts?

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
in Sex & Relationships
Ok, i have been with a girl for 3 months now but i found out she been with a few people i found out about and it makes me sick to my stomach cause it makes me feel like saying "why the hell did u do that for" i get worked up about it but i love her with all my heart and really wouldnt want anyone else but its driving me nuts. what do i do about this??

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Stop being so judgmental for a start - it's HER sexual past and it was her choice.
    Also, stop being so jealous, it's pointless and ugly. She's with YOU now so be happy she chose you :yes:

    Ilora x
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    ilora is right.

    she wouldn't be with you if she didnt want to be.

    my boyfriend has been with 83 people, and we have a great relationship.....
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Dinted wrote:
    my boyfriend has been with 83 people

    good god!!

    (he must be good :naughty: )
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Blah wrote:
    good god!!

    (he must be good :naughty: )
    i knew i didn't need to say anything....
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i get the same. thats why i like the fact my girlfriend was never with anyone else before me. during... well :chin: lol
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Everyone has a past it's life i'm afraid. I do feel the need to say "get a grip" as why should she explain her past to you? You didn't figure in it so she shouldn't have any need to apologise for why she's done things. My past is rather a lively one which would probably shock the hell of my bloke but neither of us feel the need to discuss either of ours pasts as they are exactly that. Something i did 5 years ago should have no relevance apart from it just being a memory as i've grown up in those 5 years and am a different person. Pasts just shape who we are today, you shouldn't judge her by hers.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    its not something that i let bother me, its the fact that the person is with me, not the other guys who have gone before etc..

    its not my position to judge the decisions someone has made before i met them, same as i wouldnt want them to about me.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    it is pretty normal to fret over your loved ones past and compare yourself (its also normal not to)
    youve just got to try and not let it bother you. Its not like you can do anything about it, and if you really like the person/love them, then you have to concentrate on that. Peoples pasts make them who they are - good or bad. Itd be lovely and romantic of course if you fell in love with someone and neither of you had been touched by anyone else etc etc, but in this day and age, that rarely happens. Everyones got a few skeletons in their closet and most people have the odd encounter they regret. Its just one of those things thats out of your control, and to be honest, its not really any of your business either.
    It most likely wouldnt be any different with any other girl either as most people have a past.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    People's pasts are part of them, and have formed them into the person that - I assume - you like/love, respect and enjoy being around. You can't really expect your signifigant other to have lived a pristine life of complete virtue before you've met them, just as I'm sure she doesn't expect that your past is whiter than white and that she's the first girl you've ever had a relationship/sex/whatever with. Maybe occasionally it is the case, but in reality it's unlikely.

    Try and embrace the fact that any previous relationships and encounters have made her who she is, and put her in your path, given you the opportunity to have this relationship with her! Don't feel threatened by the past because that's all it is, you're present and will be her future (or at least you will be if you don't freak out about this) ;).
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I wouldn't go out with somebody who had shagged around a lot, I'd feel like another knotch on their belt, silly I know...
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    moonrat i felt the same at first, well what happened last night was this morning we agreed to meet and chat. we have spoke now and eased my mind on this matter, also took some advice from others bout it being her past and not her future, she assures me im the only one she wants and i am more than just a notch on her belt, thanks people. :thumb:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Don't be jealous actually embrace the fact they are able to teach you things.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Ilora-Danon wrote:
    Stop being so judgmental for a start - it's HER sexual past and it was her choice.
    Also, stop being so jealous, it's pointless and ugly. She's with YOU now so be happy she chose you :yes:
    agreed
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    seconded.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Why does her past even matter to you?
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