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Harassment

MixBotMixBot Posts: 8,656 Automated Account
Ok, need a bit of advice for a friend really.

Well basically, a friend of mine is getting harassed by a guy she used to work with. Nothing ever happened between my friend and this guy.

She left this job about 6 months ago now.

Somehow this boy has got hold of her mobile number and email/msn address. Not quite sure how but she thinks this boy got hold of her number through either a work colleague or the work telephone book (her number wouldn't have been removed)

Now for the past three days, this boy has really been freaky. He added her on her msn about a week ago but didn't say a thing up until 3 days ago. Since he has started talking to her he has not left her alone. He has been talking to her loads on msn, sending her emails, ringing her loads and sending her texts.

Its really quite random and strange as she never really spoke to this guy. She has blocked him on msn and made it quite clear through the phone that she wants him to leave her alone and not to contact her but he keeps ringing her.

This guy is saying all kinds of weird shit to her. Its all really quite random.

My friend is getting like proper freaked out by this. She isn't sure whether this is genuine or whether it is a joke between a few people in work. A few people hold a grudge against her. I just don't know how to advise her. How does she get him to stop this?
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Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    changing her number would be the obvious first step.
    other than that if she knows who this guy is, she can always take it further by doing him for harassment.
    she needs to make sure too that she does nothing at all to encourage him... if he talks to her "loads" on msn, presumably she is talking back?!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Restraining order? No, just kidding. :p

    I'm going to post all of my ideas.

    Is there a possibility she could change her phone number? Is he aware of her adress? Could you confront the guy's parents, perhaps? Reverse psychology? Asking him to stalk her more? :p.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    quarfly wrote:
    Asking him to stalk her more? :p.

    :confused:

    Apart from changing her number and blocking him/deleting him on MSN and changing her email address, I can't think of much else.

    Question about restraining orders - do these actually work or not? (And what happens if someone breaks the order?)

    She could also ask work to remove her number - probably won't change much though.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    otter wrote:
    changing her number would be the obvious first step.
    other than that if she knows who this guy is, she can always take it further by doing him for harassment.
    she needs to make sure too that she does nothing at all to encourage him... if he talks to her "loads" on msn, presumably she is talking back?!
    She was talking back to him at first yeah, on the first day. She was most certainly not encouraging him though. She blocked him at the end of the first day but since then, for the past two days he has been sending texts, ringing her loads and sending her emails.

    She can't really change her mobile number and to be honest, she shouldn't have to.

    This guy is aware of her address yeah but only because he shared a taxi with her once along with a few other friends after a work get together. She never really spoke to him though.

    She doesn't know anything about the guy really. She has his msn address (obviously because he added her) but he is ringing her off a private number. He is texting her off a mobile phone though. She doesn't know where he lives or anything.

    Its really freaking her out to be honest.

    She has made it very clear to this guy that she wants him to leave her alone.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Get a bloke to answer her phone next time he calls.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Has she repotred this to the police yet or anything?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Sofie wrote:
    Has she repotred this to the police yet or anything?

    Would they do anything after only a couple of days?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hi you might find some useful info in this thread started be me about something simular that happen to me, feel free to PM me.

    http://vbulletin.thesite.org.uk/showthread.php?t=92349
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Would they do anything after only a couple of days?

    I personally don't know. But surely if it was really bad then they would?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Would they do anything after only a couple of days?
    To be honest, this girl cannot really decide about whether this is genuine or whether it is a joke between some work colleagues. Two girls at her old work place hate her. I'll call one A and the other B.

    Basically at a work party late last year she got together with one of the managers. It turned out that A had been trying it on all night with this manager and the manager had kept turning her down. Apparently B really really fancied this manager too and wanted to get with him but he had rejected her too. My friend didn't know any of this so when the manager tried it on with her, she just went along with it as she had always had a thing for him too and had a bit of "fun" if you get my drift.

    Well anyways, the next time she went into work, these 2 girls hated her. She shortly left as she found working there too difficult. This was late last year though. However, a few weeks back, she was invited out to an old work colleagues birthday party so she went along. These 2 girls were there but they were ok with her. The manager we are talking about was there as was the person who is sending her all the shit. Alot of the people from work were. However, it has crossed her mind that maybe, just maybe, these girls have got this guy to play this whole joke on her. Maybe, going to that party has annoyed them.

    This guy never showed any interest in her whilst she was working there. They rarely even spoke. However, those two girls do have something against her.

    It may have only been three days but she is finding the whole thing quite upsetting.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I see what you mean, it could just be a really sick joke. I hate people like that, it's so bitchy and just... urgh. Complete dickheads.

    I still think she should get a bloke to answer the phone next time he calls. Not to threaten the cunt or anything - yet, just to put the shitters up him.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Has she still got the chat logs and texts that he sent her, as she could print off the logs and take them to the Police station, to show them and see what they say, taht way at least they will be aware of the situtatin, I was lucky my "stalker" did not know my email address or home address telephone number and when I told him was going to go to the Police with the texts as evidance he backed off, for about 6 months then he texted me again about 2/3 times every few months they where friendly until I post my thread on here when I changed my number.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    She doesn't have the chat logs, no. However, she does have all the texts.

    Would the police take it seriously? I mean, its only been 3 days thats its been happening.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Its hard to tell, one officer might another may not, its a bit like teacher's at secondary school some where really helpful when you had problem etc others where not. Is there anyway he could get home of her address, is it with her number in that book you mentioned? As that might make them take it more seriously, as she could say that she is scared that he might start calling round to her house.

    But as you said it might just be a really sick joke. Tell her to threaten him with the Police next time he texts and see if that stops him from texting her.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    This guy knows where she lives yeah.

    Whilst on this night out a mini bus was arranged for all of the people going and she was dropped off home before him. It depends whether he was paying any attention or not I guess.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Yeah definately change her phone if it gets that bad! And block him on msn! Had a few people pissing me off on my phone as of late and am about to change mine. If it gets that bad ring the police and notify them incase it gets crazy. I had to do that one time.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    She can change her number if she calls her network. If she says she's been getting harrassed and it's the first time she's had to changer her number then they will usually do it free of charge.

    That way, she has control of who has her new number.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Get her to save the texts and go to the police with them. I had an ex who did all that weird stuff. then he started with the threats etc. She can chose if she wants him just to get a warning or press charges.
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