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I can't be myself

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
Lately I've found it increasingly difficult to be myself around others. For some reason, I just hold back and theres nothing for me to do to stop it. I just wanna be myself.. but the few people I can be myself around, I don't see anymore. As for meeting new people, I just clam up, act cold and it's really frustrating. What can I do?

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I used to be like that. Suppose I still am a bit.

    I'm not so bad now because I've sort of accepted that I am who I am whereas before I think I was so subconciously worried about what people thought about me that I wouldn't let anyone in and I'd clam up. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't still a bit worried deep down that people are gonna think I'm silly or a bad person or whatever, but I really don't think that's massively unhealthy, so long as I don't let it get out of control or that or let it affect me.

    Have you been fucked about in the past that's making you a bit reluctant? I know you want to be yourself, but maybe it's something sub-concious that's making you wary?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Well I'm just scared of being myself. Basically, at school, theres obviously the girls that who love themselves, the blond bimbos who think they are perfect, and all the other up-themselves-bitches. And they kinda intimidate quiet people like myself. They tend to hate people like me, who are different just because of the clothes we were and the music we listen to. I like who I am, it's just I'm scared of being loud and speaking up at school. That's kinda knocked my confidence a little in other aspects of my life.
    Soon I'll be starting college and I will have to find new friends, I'm just dreading it. I'm not exactly going to make friends being quite, sitting there trying to hope noone will notice me. I wanna be loud like I am with my family and close friends.. but I just can't bring myself to show it.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    __tink wrote:
    Well I'm just scared of being myself. Basically, at school, theres obviously the girls that who love themselves, the blond bimbos who think they are perfect, and all the other up-themselves-bitches. And they kinda intimidate quiet people like myself. They tend to hate people like me, who are different just because of the clothes we were and the music we listen to. I like who I am, it's just I'm scared of being loud and speaking up at school. That's kinda knocked my confidence a little in other aspects of my life.
    Just out of interest, do you think that just because they're being loud and taking the piss out of people different to themselves, that means they are 'being themselves'. In all likelyhood, they are being who their friends want them to be.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Oh well, I'm only going to be with them for 3 weeks longer anyway.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Good thing about college is that a lot of the eejits from school have been filtered out and you've got a more mature crowd. Hard to imagine it now probably, but try and go in with an open mind on that.

    With a bit of luck, you'll get more confident about speaking up and being yourself. It's actually a really low number of people who are actually all that loud and stuff when it comes to starting college, they just stick out a lot more.

    If you like who you are, then it's something to build on.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    My friend used to be like me, but in the past couple of years she's started to be herself more. As a result, more people talk to her at school. I think she started at answering questions in class, speaking up more about what she believes and as a result, believing in herself more. I might have a go at it myself.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    If you can possibly get in touch with or meet up with people who you know you can be yourself around it really might help. Sometimes I feel a bit trapped, and if I do chat with somebody I know I can tell anything then it helps me relax.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You sound like my girlfriend. She used to get bullied at school and only had one friend, and got let down by a lot of supposed friends. She's still really quiet, and gets paranoid about what people think about her, but even she's got tonnes of friends and goes out all the time now she's at college. People tend to be a little more accepting in college. I dunno if it's because you're more mature, or even that at college you're encouraged to be yourself a bit more (you can wear what you want etc). I think ultimately, though, you've just got to get to the stage where you couldn't care less what others think of you. And that's a lot easier to do when you're out with your friends having fun.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    when it comes to starting college you could act like your confident. if i force myself to act confident in a situation i often find that after a bit im no longer acting.

    just remember that everyone will be nervous as your all in the same boat :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I do feel confident of myself I guess, I'm just crap at showing it. I make simple situations awkward and I can't talk to new people.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    when you get to college i expect things will change for you. the college atmosphere is a lot more metropolitan with all different "types" of people. you just need to learn to accept yourself more or if you don't want to be shy anymore you need to face you fear and try being a little more out-there. talking to people or meeting new people and small talk etc etc etc, just takes a bit of practice.
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