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Personal Ads
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Are personal ads in the papers worth exploring? I need to find a g/f. Any success stories out there?
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Why do you need a girlfriend?
I don't know anyone whose done of these - however, I know of several people who have had internet relationships.
If you go about with the "I need a girlfriend" attitude, your not going to get one.
Desperate is not an attractive quality in a man.
:yes:
And if you do go ahead wit these personal ads, don't act desparate either.
Aren't you only 18? :rolleyes:
His profile says 22?!
I don't think personal ads are good idea. I'm sure people have had success with them but lets be brutally honest only desperate people use them, and why are they desperate? Cos no one else wants them. Which means they are either hideous and/or have a dire personality.
Not wishing to sound harsh or anything.
My mistake, sorry.
I totally agree here. Same with internet relationships I guess - slightly different though on the internet if having a relationship wasn't intentional.
I completely disagree. How can you say that about people you have never met. Maybe some people genuinly are just unlucky in love. Maybe some people don't get the chance to go out as often as they might want to meaning they dont get so many chances to socialise and interact with the opposite sex. To say " Cause no one else wants them " is wrong Iin my opinion. I wouldn't say no one wants me i'd say i havent met the right person yet or i dont go out that often to be able to meet people in order to find somone.
I know that's just you're opinion but it isnt fact.
I never said it was fact.
Have you read some of this guys other posts? Its blatantly obvious hes desperate. Anyway moving on...
I'm sure genuinely there are people that write these things for reasons you've said above, but i suspect most of them are just either weird, or ugly. I'm sorry but if they were as gorgeous and brilliant as they always make out, they'd have people falling at their feet in the street or something.
I've got to agree with EDN and although for me it wouldn't be an ideal way of meeting a partner, I think it's too harsh to write off those who use such services as desperate or ugly just for doing so. Even nice, attractive people can be lonely and looking for love.
I have people falling at my feet
I wasn't talking about old people, more young people. I just can't imagine anyone using it as anything other than a last resort, and if it's got that bad there has to be something up with them (in my opinion).
Obviously i've never met anyone whose done one of these ads, so i don't know anything for certain.
Hardly a reason.
I've never had a tumor. You really need to stop living your life around the fact that you've never had a girlfriend or had sex. If you let it control you then you will be sad and desperate and it will be obvious and people will not want to hang around with a person so bent up on it. They aren't that interesting.
Just let it go. It isn't a big deal. Your not the only one. Just live your life and stop spending every waking hour thinking about it. You'll be happier and probably more likely to get a girlfriend.
Not sure what that says about personals ads in papers but thought it was interesting!!
That the only way to get a partner is to write one of those ads.
To me it's a last resort.
If you're desperate for a serious relationship then it tends to end in tears because there's so much insecurity and pressure.
Just speak to people, that's my advice. Folk at work or uni or wherever, always try and go to parties or nights out when there's one going and just meet people that way. The thrill of the chase is what it's all about really (I sound like 1983 now), but that's where lonely hearts falls on it's arse because it's so forced an there's too much pressure.
If you find it hard to speak to people or are really shy then you're maybe best working on that and then other stuff will come hopefully.
You should be with somebody because you want to be with them, not because you need to.
Otherwise it is selfish because you are using them to fill an insecurity, or to make you happy. We do the best in relationships not by needing each other, but by enjoying each other's company ad by sharng happiness. If you cannot find that alone then...
Well, I wouldn't date a needy person. I want then to be happy with themselves as much as they are happy with me.
That's not to say you are a bad or selfish individual, but if you want somebody that bad, maybe you should be working on yourself so when that special lady comes along you can make fireworks happen.
Everybody gets lonely at one point in their life.
I know I am.
I find I can be happy being single as long as I'm meeting new people. I could go on the 10 worst first dates in history and still be happy, would still feel like I'm getting somewhere, however slowly.
So what are the best ways of meeting new people?
Bars and clubs I don't like. There's way too much pressure. If you go up to a girl it kinda feels like you're already saying I want to sleep with you. Whereas I like to get to know someone first. Plus they're bloody noisy places. And I'm usually far too drunk by that point anyway. :razz:
The internet's no better, albeit from entirely the opposite end of the scale. If you chat to someone you may get to meet them in like a year or something.
I find work the best place. It's quiet, no pressure, and you get to know them gradually. But despite our massive turnover of staff, I'm still not meeting anywhere near as many new people as I'd like.
Each to their own I guess...
I think the best way is to just chat to friends of friends when you're out. As long as you don't end up becoming one of those guys who hits on all their friends' mates. I don't know many people who have a boy/girlfriend that they met just by going up to a stranger in a club and starting chatting. That seems to be more one-night-stand territory.
I like meeting blokes that way the most, I liked that he had no prior connections to my friends, no complications in that way, it was all totally new, and there was a whole new set of friends to meet.
I don't think meeting in clubs has to lean towards one night stands at all, if you really put an effort into conversation with a person it usually shows you're after more.
I don't think so. Try datingdirect or match.com instead.
Ok the vast majority are hideous and dire then.
I think it would be preferable to be in your 20s and never had a relationship rather than having had relationships just for the sake of it.
A lot of people just go out with someone for the sake of it, or because they're insecure, or flattered someone asked, or because all their friends are in relationships, rather than actually wanting to be in a relationship with that person.
I would be happy to go out with a guy who had never had a serious relationship.