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One for the ladies....

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
How would you feel about men who lie about themselves online?

Here's a scenario, you've been chatting to a guy online for a few weeks and he seems ok. In fact it gets to the point where you'd consider meeting him. From his description he sounds ok and you're enjoying his personality so you decide to give it a go.....

However when you meet him, he wasn't slim/tall/muscular etc as he'd said but in fact was the opposite - he'd blatantly lied about his appearance in some way.

What would you think? How would you feel?
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Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    They probably feels the same way than men that interract with women lying about themselves online... sorry for my man input...
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i'd never even consider meeting anyone until i knew them well enough to know they were not lying, photos would be high on my agenda as well.

    sorry for the man insert as well
  • littlemissylittlemissy knit chick Posts: 9,972
    I'd be a bit pissed off.

    However, I would've wanted to see pictures etc of him before meeting him offline.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I'd feel like my trust had been lost in him, i couldn't help but wonder what else he had lied about. If he had lied about something such as appearance, which is kinda stupid as if you did actually meet him you would know he lied straight away, whereas if he had lied about family/jobs/girl friends/whatever, it would be harder for you to find out about it.

    Okay so that made much more sense in my head that what it did there, apologies. but yes, i would feel very dissapointed if i found out he had lied about anything, especially if you've known him online for a while and consider him a friend
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I wouldnt be to happy but like the others have said id ask to see pics first, that way you know who your meeting with.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i feel for ya, its gotta be really dissapointing, the only 2 ladies ive met online have always met my expectations and had really good times with.

    dishonesty is shocking.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    The guy must know that you'll realise he's been lying, so wheres the point in doing it.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    The reason I'm asking is this happened to me recently in reverse.

    I was chatting to this girl for a while, she seemed nice and we clicked pretty quickly. We were both single and the idea of a relationship was a real possibility. We'd spoken on webcam a few times and that was ok.

    I could see from her cam that she wasn't exactly a slim girl but that didn't bother me - she told me she was about a 14 to 16 and as I like curvy women, this was fine.

    However when I met her I could see she was clearly nowhere near a 16. At one point the label from her top was sticking out and I saw that she was a 24.

    Now I'm not saying she was a bad person - on the contrary, she was very nice but I just am not attracted to someone of that size - and this is not something I have chosen be like, I have no control over what I do and do not find attractive.

    I can see why she did it, had she told me her true size then it's likely I would not have been talking in terms of a relationship. But she lied - BIG style. It's not like I don't know the difference between size 16 and 24, this was a blatant lie.

    I've mentioned this to a few of my female friends and they all seem to try and make me out to be the bastard in this - and this why I wanted womens' opinion of it happening in reverse? But why am I the 'bastard'? I'm not the dishonest one. For a relationship to work, I need trust and this girl already started things off with a lie.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    you have to have a great deal of trust in someone you meet from the net. if it turns out they lied about something (even if we can empathise with the reasoning) then that trust is probably lost. you're right to feel angry.. she misled you.

    p.s. luv the sig :lol:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I wouldn't meet somebody offline for sex/relationship, only friendship, so appearance wouldn't matter to me.

    But I would be offended.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I'd always swap pics first so Idon't think I'd be in that situation
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    unless they gave me fake pics and then I'd go mad! well id make my excuses and leave then go mad tomy friends then see the funny side and piss myself
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Heh, I think I've actually done the reverse.

    I seem to give off the idea that I'm some monstrous real life version of The Blob, which, I guess, isn't true.

    I don't do it on purpose, I'm just a bit shit :D
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    might make me think what else is she lying about..?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Don't know if I'd meet anyone i met online one on one. I definitley wouldn't think about any kind of relationship with them until I'd met them in person.

    To be honest I'd find it very wierd if someone lied to that extent. I don't think you were/are being a bastard.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    H-face wrote:
    I'd feel like my trust had been lost in him, i couldn't help but wonder what else he had lied about. If he had lied about something such as appearance, which is kinda stupid as if you did actually meet him you would know he lied straight away, whereas if he had lied about family/jobs/girl friends/whatever, it would be harder for you to find out about it.

    :yes:

    if they are telling blatant lies, who's to say how many more subtle lies they are getting away with?

    in your situation, i understand why she did it, but it doesn't make it ok.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    might make me think what else is she lying about..?

    :yes: Lying about something as looks is a big thing. Especially if they were going to meet you! How do you expect to fake that one. And just as you said, if they are going to lie about that what else have they lied about, and what else will they lie about. I'd not be able to trust them.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I can understand why she did it, because she thought her true size would put you off, an it did. Maybe she was just hoping you'd understand why she lied an still like her anyway. Not an excuse for lying though
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Who else is a guy and just had to click this topic to see what the girls were up to??!!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Personally, I think that anyone who lies usually has something to hide.

    Like Jon, I could never meet someone from the internet on to one. Maybe an organised meet up, but never on my own.

    Also, I wouldn't want to meet someone online for a relationship, maybe as a friend but nothing more.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I dont have a problem with meeting people from the net one to one, mainly cause in situations like that i tend to get to know the person well before hand.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Gavman wrote:
    I dont have a problem with meeting people from the net one to one, mainly cause in situations like that i tend to get to know the person well before hand.

    Ditto.

    I've met a handful of people from the 'net in one to one situations. They've always been as nice - if not, nicer - than I expected. Obviously I'm just a great judge of character... or have been very lucky.. ;)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Or stella'd! ;)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Sidtec wrote:
    Who else is a guy and just had to click this topic to see what the girls were up to??!!

    *raises hand
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I know of a girl who's done the same thing - only showing pics of her face and at certain angles to make herself seem slim when shes actually a very big girl.

    Some people just spend too much time trying to pull people online, haha.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Doofay wrote:
    I know of a girl who's done the same thing - only showing pics of her face and at certain angles to make herself seem slim when shes actually a very big girl.

    Some people just spend too much time trying to pull people online, haha.

    I wonder why they do that. If your trying to meet somebody online, then, at least in my mind, they plan on meeting them in real life. So whats the logic behind lying about something they will find out the truth about quite quickly. If that makes any sense... I can't pull together a sentence today.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    my_name wrote:
    I wonder why they do that. If your trying to meet somebody online, then, at least in my mind, they plan on meeting them in real life. So whats the logic behind lying about something they will find out the truth about quite quickly. If that makes any sense... I can't pull together a sentence today.

    You mean that if you were planning on meeting someone from the internet, you wouldn't lie about yourself?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Sofie wrote:
    You mean that if you were planning on meeting someone from the internet, you wouldn't lie about yourself?

    Yea! And nto just about yourself but something that they will know your lying about the first instant they see you.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    in this case i dont think it was particularly bad- youd seen her on a webcam, its not like she sent you fake pictures. i think she was just sensitive about her size and thought you wouldnt be attracted to her if you knew her real size. im not saying lying is right, but it could have been worse.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Kat_B wrote:
    in this case i dont think it was particularly bad- youd seen her on a webcam, its not like she sent you fake pictures. i think she was just sensitive about her size and thought you wouldnt be attracted to her if you knew her real size. im not saying lying is right, but it could have been worse.

    Totally agree.
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