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Engagement At A Young Age
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
I feel quite strongly about this and was wondering about other peoples opinions.
For example a friend of mine has recently got engaged. He is 17 and she is 16, and they have been together barely 5 months.
This i think is so stupid. He couldnt afford to buy her a ring and they haven't been together long at all, practically still in the 'hooneymoon period' anything could happen in the next year which would change how they feel dramatically.
I think it's such an immature thing to do at such a young age and is a huge commitment, they are going to want to experience so much more in life, is it just me who thinks this or do you agree?
For example a friend of mine has recently got engaged. He is 17 and she is 16, and they have been together barely 5 months.
This i think is so stupid. He couldnt afford to buy her a ring and they haven't been together long at all, practically still in the 'hooneymoon period' anything could happen in the next year which would change how they feel dramatically.
I think it's such an immature thing to do at such a young age and is a huge commitment, they are going to want to experience so much more in life, is it just me who thinks this or do you agree?
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Comments
I think 18 is fine, your old enough to legally get married and have most likely been with your boyfriend a considerably long time. I don't see anything wrong with that at all.
I see it as immature as the girl daren't even tell her parents and they haven't been together long, i suppose immature was the wrong word to use but i just don't think it was the right time and why the huge rush, why not do it all properly at a later date.
16 is still young when you have your whole life ahead of you, you've just reached the legal age of consent and have just got engaged.
Being engaged after 5 months? Don't agree with this either. It's not as if they know each other really all that well, do they?
I know, but his reply was they have 5 years of friendship between them, but i said a relationship and a friendship are two totally separate things, a relationship needs commitment, love, negotiation etc you could go on but at the end of the day it's different. After saying that he got all defensive, but it's something i don't agree with. I personally at such a young age wouldnt do that.
Yeah, i know this sounds horrible but in a way i look down a little on young people that do that, but yes it is becoming more popular, 2 other people i know have done the same at the same age as mentioned above.
Like you said it's like the cool thing to do and it's like something is trying to be proved by doing it.
It's just mean he is serious about the relantionship and want t let her now...
And btw why does it matter he can not afford a ring, I think there is nothing more stupid that associate love and material...
I just think it would be more speical to propose with a ring and surprise her rather than at a later date buy a ring and do it all over again and it not be such a surprise as she'd know it's coming, that was all.
:chin: I see your point...
so you think 18 is fine but 16/17 is ridiculously young? 16/17 is legally old enough to get married too.
its not something i would personally do but why are you getting so wound up about it? its not really anything to do with you whether your friend gets engaged or not. makes you sound a tad jealous imho.
Only legal with parents consent. I just see no point, i'm not jealous at all, i am very happy with my boyfriend right now and even though i would love to marry him at some point (whether that'l happen at is a different story) but if so right now i would say no.
I was only seeing what others views were that was all.
getting engaged is just their way of saying that they want to get married, some people get engaged much older and end up not getting married, or get engaged after very short periods of time together. im not saying i dont agree with what you are saying, im just saying i dont think its anything to get on your high horse about.
if i was you, i would give your friend some space to make her own decision. im sure she will work out what it is she really wants, even if in the end that does mean being engaged.
It was the guy who i was on about, i just referred to him as a friend, i used to go to school with him but not anymore he isn't a good friend as such.
I'm not on my high horse about it, it's just one of those things, you never know maybe it will work out, i just think it was too soon.
I think it would be great if there was something between just 'going out' and engagement, that young people could participate in. But then again, if shes sure hes the one, then its up to her.
Generally, I think it's all down to personal choice. I see a lot of young couples getting engaged and I do wonder what is the point but it's a nice thought while it's there and it does no harm.
We have rings and all that.. we won't get married until like 20's.. but it's something for now i guess. I've been with her for almost 3 years though, so thats a little different than 5 months..
can't see it myself.
I know a lot of my parents' friends/friends' parents got married when they were around 16/17 - having been together from their early teens - but I'm going to have to whip out the "that was then, this is now" card. I think the motivation behind it these days is disingenuous more often than not.
Obviously not always the case...
As long as they dont actually go and get married. That would be silly.
Usually it's stupid to get engaged at a young age yes, but not always.
Why is it so stupid.... engagement != marriage...
Would you really want to be married at a young age though? Or would you rather wait until your early 20s to get married?
There's a couple I know who are engaged; according to one of the teachers, she claims that she'd never go out with the person she's engaged to.
I've had at least 2 different people ask me to marry them in the last year or so - it was always 'Will you go out with me?' 'No', Will you have sex with me?' 'No', Will you marry me?' 'No' :rolleyes:
Yeah but engagement doesn't mean you are going to get married within months, it just show a commitment, some people get engaged and get married years later... I was engaged to my ex at 18 and married her at 21...
Are you not together now then seems as you said your ex?
It seems that many that get engaged at such a young age, long term it doesn't work out.
Yeah if I said my ex it is obvious that I am not with her anymore...
It doesn't mean anything, people get divorce more and more often...
My uncle has been married for more than 25 years to his wife and they were tohgether since they were 15... My grand parents more than 40 years of marriage and they have been together since they were 17... And there is many more like that...
Also a friend of mine got married at 24 after being with the girl for more 7 years and they got divorce after not even a year of marriage... And plenty of people who get engaged in their 20s get divorce too...
Nothing guarantee you anything in life... It have noting to do with age...
From my own personal experience, people who get engaged very young/when they have been with their partner less than, say, a year, tend to do so because one or both partners are very insecure in the relationship, and seem to think that having a ring on their finger is going to improve matters. In my opinion, it isn't necessary to get engaged to prove your love and dedication to your partner, either to other people or to yourselves, because it is something you should both already know and be sure of.
I'm sure there are situations where younger people get engaged for different reasons and it does work out, but as I say in my personal experience these relationships often don't last because the engagement takes place to gloss over other problems in the relationship.
Thats great.
You have to let other people make their own mistakes. My friends are always doing stupid things. I really dont get this mindset of thinking you have to solve all your friends problems. If my friends started doing that to me every time i did something impulsive or that they wouldnt do, tbh id just stop telling them stuff.
Its patronising.