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Fed Up

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
in Sex & Relationships
:( I am fed up with my boyfriend at the moment saying things but not sticking to what he has said. I love him to bits but he's really annoying me. The other day he said that he would phone me later that evening but never did, this has happened a few times, then he said that he would be back up here to birmingham where we both live term time at about 3pm on saturday, so I've made plans to surprise him but now I find out he's actually not coming up until 8pm :mad: , he was going to be coming up here in a few weeks before we start back to uni, on the friday but now it might be the saturday, or it might be late sunday night. I had started making plans of what we could do to have some quality time together and some good fun to take our minds off the stress of the revision and as we aren't going to be able to go out as we both have loads of exams and courseworks afterwards, then he's most likely going straight home after his last exam like he did last year but now we're not going to be able to do anything. :crying:

I understand that things happen which means that he might not be able to phone but this happened a few times. I also know that he is having trouble with his mum as she wants him to be at home as much as possible and isn't happy about him coming up here on the friday, which is why it might be the saturday or the sunday. I can understand that she doesn't see him that often but I just wish that he didn't tell me things if they might not happen as I get so excited and make plans and then I have to cancel it all and get annoyed and upset.

How do I tell him how I'm feeling without putting him in an awkward position between me and his mum, and without upsetting or making anyone angry? Do I have a right to be upset or am I making a big thing out of nothing so shouldn't say anything? :confused:

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Well I can understand his point with his mum, but he must be able to tell you something and stick to it, after usng his mum can be an easy excuse.

    By your profile I can see you are 20 so I assume he is around the same age and well, it might be time for him to live his life and to stop doing too much stuff from his mum. If he really likehis mum, there is noting wrong with it, but maybe you could share him. So every other weekend he come on sunday and on friday to you.

    Talking to him about it doesn't necessary mean creating problems between him and his mum. Talking is always the best way to go imo.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Just tell him that you'd appreciate him letting you know his plans or change of plans more in advance so you won't have to cancel stuff?

    Tell him that you'd really appreciate the phone calls, and you'd rather he just said if he was too busy to call you than to leave you waiting around for him to call.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thanks. Yeah he is going to be 20 soon but him and his mum are really really close. It is justthe two of them when he's home and so whilst he's up here at uni with me she gets very lonely and so phones him every night without fail at least once and for at least 45 minutes. It is quite strange but they are really close so I just accept it and try to make plans round it although everyday she phones different times (could be 4pm could be 9pm or later). It does frustrate me but it is his mum and I just understand that she means a lot to him and he means a lot to her.

    I think I will just tell him not to bother telling me plans or when he's going to call etc as that way I won't be expecting anything or waiting for him to call as you say.

    I just wish that I could know plans so that I can plan nice days away somewhere together as we don't get to do much together, especially with it being exam season now and being our second year degree exams they are quite important
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thanks for the advice guys. I told him exactly how I felt last night and that I would prefer him not to tell me plans about coming up here to see me, or when he is going to phone until he is certain and it's all ok with his mum. He has apologised and said that he didn't really realise that he was doing it and has arranged to be up here by 6pm tomorrow rather than the 8pm which it changed to after he had told me 3pm. It's not as good as him being here at 3pm but it's a compromise so I'm happy and it means that I can cook us the roast pork I had planned on cooking!

    Thanks for the great advice!
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