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Now I'm getting angry. o,0

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
in Sex & Relationships
So...

the story basically is...

My girlfriend wants to go to this place here in Illinois that is basically like a club, with more sexuality. I told her I didn't like the idea unless I was there, considering the nature of the place, but I wouldn't stop her. (Being nice basically)

She didn't go.

That was about 2 months ago...

Now she wants to go again, with a couple girlfriend's and guyfriend's. I told her I still felt the same, but if she wants to go, I won't stop her.

Yesterday, we talked, she said I needed to lighten up. I told her that it's not a place to experiement with being apart.

Now she says she is going, and that we need to 'experiment' with seeing how much I worry about her, and 'experiment' on what happens when she goes. She says she is just going because her friend's want to, and if she doesn't feel comfortable she'll leave.

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This makes me angry, not because she's going, but because she seems to be pulling all kinds of excuses, and I know she wants to go, because she wanted to go before.

And then she has the gaul to put a biiiig <3 at the end of her message.

Should I be as mad as I am? :mad:

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Well different people would react in different ways, some people are quite easy going and wouldn't mind in the first place or some would hate the idea and flat out say "you can't go".

    you seem to be like me in that you wouldn't stop your girlfriend doing anything, but oyu let her know how you feel about it and hope she takes your feelings into consideration.

    I would be as mad as you, but whether that's right or not I can't say, she obviously thinks it's not, but I think it is.

    If I were in your situation I would be thinking that maybe she was not right for me and I would consider ending things. But of course I don't know exactly what your situaiton is, you say she is going to a club with more sexuality, the image this puts in my mind is something I wouldn't like my girlfriend going to.

    By the way, what exactly is this club with more sexuality? Is it like a strip club? Or a normal club that's known to be a bit of a meat market?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Yeah....your explanation of where it is shes wanting to go is too vague to comment on the situation...
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    JsTJsT Posts: 18,268 Skive's The Limit
    AlmightyBob wrote:
    Yeah....your explanation of where it is shes wanting to go is too vague to comment on the situation...
    True.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    go out with your mates the night shes heading out, go to a strip joint and party it up. see how the bitch likes it or you could actually talk about how you feel about the situation and that your scared that she'll piss off with some bloke for some anal action down the back of the club. you need to tell her that your scared of losing her.

    Im sure it will be grand, chill out
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thanks for the responses...

    It's just an average club, but as Red_Jelly said, it's more of a meat market... the type where basically it's not out of place for guys to start fondling random girls, etc.

    I've kind of having mixed feelings on the subject. It makes me really mad, almost enough to end it, but at the same time, I really do care for her a ton, and I know she does for me. She just is being dumb at the moment I think... But I don't know...bah...what's worse is I have to see her in...5 hours... I don't know how to respond, I'm mad as hell, but at the same time I don't want something like this to end what we have...because I really don't want it to end and don't really feel like it should end it...but...this makes me soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo mad. >.< :banghead:


    EDIT: And what's even funnier, is I just got an e-mail from her asking me to drive her and one of her girlfriend's home at 4. I don't think she realizes that I'm mad at the moment.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I think you need to weigh up how big a deal this is compared to how much you want to be with her.

    If you think you can't be with someone who is like this and wants to go to these sort of places on her own then you have to consider where the relationship is going.

    If it is just something that you don't like but can live with this part of her personality, then i'd just keep quiet (well actually i'd let her know how I felt but then not keep going on about it).

    So you have to choose whether you want a girlfriend who doesn't do this, or her. Whatever you do, don't stay with her and try and change her, that'll just end up in tears.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Well, it's not a huge deal that she wants to go honestly... it's just that she's making all these excuses why I don't need to go, "I'd worry more, I'd be overprotective there, etc" and saying she's only going because of her friend's, which I know is bullshite. I was pretty much over it and like, whatever, you can go, till she started making excuses.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Satai wrote:
    Well, it's not a huge deal that she wants to go honestly... it's just that she's making all these excuses why I don't need to go, "I'd worry more, I'd be overprotective there, etc" and saying she's only going because of her friend's, which I know is bullshite. I was pretty much over it and like, whatever, you can go, till she started making excuses.

    Sorry if i'm stirring things, but if it all seemed fine and then she brought things up and started making excuses for going then I would start to get a bit suspicious.

    Probably not what you wanted to hear, sorry!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Well, It seemed more like she was trying to make herself feel better. Like, I said she could go, but obviously in a not so happy manner, then she was all like making the excuses. So, I'm thinking it's more that...I'm sending her an e-mail right now, it's somewhat nasty, but basically telling her that she can do what she feels is right, but she can't expect me to not do things that she doesn't like me doing, such as partying or hanging out with female friends. (Awhile back we had an arguement about me having female friends.)

    So, we'll see.

    I appreciate your help Red-Jelly, it's VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY appreciated!!!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Tons of clubs have bad reputations. Do you trust her?

    As for the making excuses for you not to go. Maybe she just wants a night out with her girlfriends? If it's all her girl mates there and then you. Well, I'd feel a bit chaperoned yknow?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Would she let you go to a lap dancing bar?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    If you're that unhappy, tell her. Don't get upset if she goes when you've said you're not going to stop her going.

    Don't play emotional games - I'd always recommend defying a guilt trip like the one you're pulling on her.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Well, I talked to her about it. She was hurt that I thought that I didn't want her to go. She said she was being truthful, and seems to be. We had a nice long talk, and I think everything's actually alright. So....Yay!

    Thanks Jelly, you were a ton of help.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    sry if i missed something here but is there a reason why you dont go to the club with her?

    I would say if she thinks it is ok for you to go with her (whether or not u actually do) then it is ok but if she wants to go there and absolutely does not want you there, then i would wonder what she wanted to do there that she couldnt do in front of you maybe.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    At the end of the day if shes going to cheat on you then shes going to cheat on you whether shes in a 'meat-market' club or just a normal club/bar.
    This all comes down to if you trust her or not.
    Theres not really much you can do tbh, let her go, see how she acts the next day. Most people cajnt hide guilt very well so i'd think you'd know pretty quick if she'd done anything or not.
    But that said, just because she wants to go to this other club doesnt mean shes planning on cheating on you, might just be she wants to feel attractive and have guys faling over themselves to be with her and doesnt want you to go because well..who would want to see a load of guys trying to get with their gf!?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I trust her pretty well, but I'm thinking what Icey said about having guys fawning over her or whatever.

    I don't think she'd cheat, but I don't like the idea at all of her flirting with other guys, never have, never will. But, *shrug* Apparently they aren't going anymore anyways, as the plans fell through.

    So...*shrug*
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