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I just don't get it
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Hello Everyone! I'm new here, and am looking for some advice on my broken friendship.
My friend and I were getting along great and had started to become somewhat close. She helped me through an emotionally rough month back in December, and then everything was cool again in January. I have very few close friends, and the ones I have mean the world to me and I tell them that. Her and I even exchanged "I love yous". This friendship is no where near sexual--so I don't want to give that impression, we both happily married. Anyway, late in January, she lost out on a high profile job that she really, really wanted and she took it extremely hard. She holed herself up. She has a history of severe depression, and one time suicidal tendancies, so I of course was really worried about her. I talked to her on the phone and told her I would be in touch. After that, she would never respond to anything I did. After 2 weeks, I told her I love her, I care about her and I'm here for her, but I really wanted to know she was okay so I could stop worrying. She didn't respond. I would try to contact her about 3 times a week after that because I became somewhat more worried. Finally after 5 weeks, she emails saying she feels uncomfortable that I tell her I love her, and I'm a lovely girl, she wishes me the best of everything, but now stop contacting her.
What? Why the change in attitude all of a sudden? One week she says I love you, the next week, she's alienated me. I don't get it. Should I wait a little while and then try contacting her again to try to talk this out, or forget it and move on? I'm so confused. Since when is telling a friend who's depressed that you love them and care about them the wrong thing to do?
My friend and I were getting along great and had started to become somewhat close. She helped me through an emotionally rough month back in December, and then everything was cool again in January. I have very few close friends, and the ones I have mean the world to me and I tell them that. Her and I even exchanged "I love yous". This friendship is no where near sexual--so I don't want to give that impression, we both happily married. Anyway, late in January, she lost out on a high profile job that she really, really wanted and she took it extremely hard. She holed herself up. She has a history of severe depression, and one time suicidal tendancies, so I of course was really worried about her. I talked to her on the phone and told her I would be in touch. After that, she would never respond to anything I did. After 2 weeks, I told her I love her, I care about her and I'm here for her, but I really wanted to know she was okay so I could stop worrying. She didn't respond. I would try to contact her about 3 times a week after that because I became somewhat more worried. Finally after 5 weeks, she emails saying she feels uncomfortable that I tell her I love her, and I'm a lovely girl, she wishes me the best of everything, but now stop contacting her.
What? Why the change in attitude all of a sudden? One week she says I love you, the next week, she's alienated me. I don't get it. Should I wait a little while and then try contacting her again to try to talk this out, or forget it and move on? I'm so confused. Since when is telling a friend who's depressed that you love them and care about them the wrong thing to do?
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Comments
I get the feeling shes falling for you. of course I could be wrong. Just leave her to figure things out. I know its hard but try not to worry about her. If she wants to get in touch she will
have to agree with JsT on this one. she'll be fine. I know its hard but im sure its for the best.