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Staying friends with an ex

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    twonk1 wrote:
    When we split, she had 'relationships' and I still spoke to her so why would it be different when I get a girlfriend?
    So I didn't want to get back with my ex but we were friends, or so I thought.
    So its one rule for her but another for you huh? Hardly seems fair and to be honest, it sounds quite immature. Maybe she still had feelings for you and was seeing another guy to make you jealous, I don't know. Maybe she didn't like it when she realised that you didn't want her anymore and you had completely moved on.

    I've found this with exes in the past. They are all nicey nicey when they have a new girl but then as soon as you start seeing somebody else they go all cold on you. Its like they expect you to not move on. Its like they want the ego boost of you wanting them.

    From personal experience, its far easier not to stay friends with your exes. From my point of view, its always messy. It causes problems in your current relationships too. There is always an ex girlfriend/ex boyfriend trying to cause problems in your relationship, trying to cause jealousy, etc.

    In the past I've always tried to remain friends with my exes. I mean, if you have been together a long time you have alot of history together,shared so much with them and you have so many memories together. Its not nice to lose that. However, I've found that staying friends with exes has stopped me from moving on. Staying friends with exes for me is hard as my feelings for them just don't go away overnight especially when you are still in contact with them and yeah, its not nice. I've always found that cutting contact alltogether helps me move on. I eventually end up not thinking about them at all quite quickly, as bad as that sounds and then when in a new relationship, I wonder why I was ever upset about them.

    Maybe that was the problem with your ex girlfriend. She never moved on. Maybe, secretely, she was hoping you two would get back together.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Rachael wrote:
    It depends on the circumstance. If they were a complete knob to you then no but if its going to cut you up seeing them then I wouldn't recommend it.

    My recent ex is probably what you would describe as a complete knob. He did a lot of lying. But I'm still finding it hard to let go. We were together for a year but best mates for about two years before that, and he was my first proper boyfriend. I think it's a shame to lose all of that in one go, and the closeness and friendship. Because of the circumstances I know I should tell him exactly where he can go, but it's not always that easy :(
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    *Stacey* wrote:
    So its one rule for her but another for you huh? Hardly seems fair and to be honest, it sounds quite immature. Maybe she still had feelings for you and was seeing another guy to make you jealous, I don't know. Maybe she didn't like it when she realised that you didn't want her anymore and you had completely moved on.

    I've found this with exes in the past. They are all nicey nicey when they have a new girl but then as soon as you start seeing somebody else they go all cold on you. Its like they expect you to not move on. Its like they want the ego boost of you wanting them.

    From personal experience, its far easier not to stay friends with your exes. From my point of view, its always messy. It causes problems in your current relationships too. There is always an ex girlfriend/ex boyfriend trying to cause problems in your relationship, trying to cause jealousy, etc.

    In the past I've always tried to remain friends with my exes. I mean, if you have been together a long time you have alot of history together,shared so much with them and you have so many memories together. Its not nice to lose that. However, I've found that staying friends with exes has stopped me from moving on. Staying friends with exes for me is hard as my feelings for them just don't go away overnight especially when you are still in contact with them and yeah, its not nice. I've always found that cutting contact alltogether helps me move on. I eventually end up not thinking about them at all quite quickly, as bad as that sounds and then when in a new relationship, I wonder why I was ever upset about them.

    Maybe that was the problem with your ex girlfriend. She never moved on. Maybe, secretely, she was hoping you two would get back together.

    I think she was. She did cause problems. Not directly but indirectly which upset me. Just wish i knew what happened and what I did. I had to sit back and watch her with new bfs but as soon as I moveon its 'dont wanna know you'.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    twonk1 wrote:
    I think she was. She did cause problems. Not directly but indirectly which upset me. Just wish i knew what happened and what I did. I had to sit back and watch her with new bfs but as soon as I moveon its 'dont wanna know you'.

    Thats typical of girls I find.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    twonk1 wrote:
    I think she was. She did cause problems. Not directly but indirectly which upset me. Just wish i knew what happened and what I did. I had to sit back and watch her with new bfs but as soon as I moveon its 'dont wanna know you'.
    It sounds like you are better off without her as a friend then mate. She sounds like a right head fuck. Also, you don't want some weird ex causing problems in your current relationship.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Seems it to me.

    I'm glad me and her broke up though. The girlfriend i have now is perfect and I wouldn't want that ruined. Shes the one :)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Awww, new relationships are lovely aren't they? You get that little buzzy feeling in your stomach. Well, at least I do. I get butterflies in my stomach everytime I think about the new person I'm seeing. Maybe thats just girls who get like that though. Hehe.

    Well good luck with everything anyway :)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    No I do do..
    I feel like I go to jelly lol

    And i lost my virginity to her so it makes her even more special :)
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