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Spotty problems

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
Are physical problems a hinderance to a meaningful relationship? I suffer from a really spotty complexion on my face, back and chest. This inhibits me from trying to form a relationship with a girl as I feel so unclean. I feel as though anyone would immediately shy away from me in disgust once they'd seen my body. It really restricts my life and I feel so lonely.
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Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    how bad are we talking?
    I mean if its really severe acne, there are treatments you can get for it.
    If its just suffering from spots, then no problem - more to squeeeeeeeze :P
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I can't comment on whether it's a hindrance in a relationship. However, there are several answers for dealing with spots. I suggest you go to your doctor and ask to be referred to a dermatologist. I was, and they prescribed me Roaccutane. It's a very powerful drug with a massive list of potential side-effects. It did me wonders. Where I used to have nasty, persistent acne, nowadays I get just one or two spots in the most awkward of places.

    Bear in mind also that having spots is no indicator of personal hygiene - to say someone spotty is dirty is ignorant beyond belief. No, the issue of spots can be dealth with. Don't bother with nonsense like Clearasil, none of those things work, I should know, I tried them for years. Judging by your post, they are denting your confidence severely. March into your GPs office and insist on a referral to your hospital's dermatology department if the spots are constant.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I really do think they are a emotional hinderance - i previously suffered from acne and it really stopped me getting close to people due to my fear of rejection due to spots and i was embarassed in going out in public some days. Self consciousness is your worst enemy, but as others have said there are solutions out there!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It's only a hindrance if you let it be one.

    Most teenagers have spots. It's a fact of life, all the hormones in your body send your skin haywire.

    If you take all the "pizza face" comments to heart, then it'll be a hindrance, because you'll be so paranoid about your spots you won't be able to trust your partner.

    But I'll guarantee this: any girl you get naked with will be a) too excited and b) too worried about her own body to notice your spots. Even if you have bad acne.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I'm afraid I can only agree with Kermit. Damn him for being so right all the time! :p
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Kermit wrote:
    It's only a hindrance if you let it be one.

    Most teenagers have spots. It's a fact of life, all the hormones in your body send your skin haywire.

    If you take all the "pizza face" comments to heart, then it'll be a hindrance, because you'll be so paranoid about your spots you won't be able to trust your partner.

    But I'll guarantee this: any girl you get naked with will be a) too excited and b) too worried about her own body to notice your spots. Even if you have bad acne.

    Agreed! Must say though its not only teenagers that get bad spots.

    My best advice is: Do not over-wash your face, you're not getting spots because you're dirty. Cleaning your face too much will give you more spots.

    I have never ever been put off fancying someone because they have spots, infact a friend of mine loves it when she finds out that her new boyfriends have spotty backs because she likes squeezing them. :yeees:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    badgerboo wrote:
    Agreed! Must say though its not only teenagers that get bad spots.

    My best advice is: Do not over-wash your face, you're not getting spots because you're dirty. Cleaning your face too much will give you more spots.

    I have never ever been put off fancying someone because they have spots, infact a friend of mine loves it when she finds out that her new boyfriends have spotty backs because she likes squeezing them. :yeees:

    That is fuckin grim :no:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    badgerboo wrote:
    infact a friend of mine loves it when she finds out that her new boyfriends have spotty backs because she likes squeezing them. :yeees:

    Keep her away from me! The one's on my back are seriously painful when messed with!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I know but she loves it, think its a bit of a fetish thing she likes to see the puss squirt, lol.

    Just wanted to point out that not everyone thinks spots are gross. x
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    doesn't squeezing spots just make the mcome back and leave more marks on you?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    badgerboo wrote:
    I know but she loves it, think its a bit of a fetish thing she likes to see the puss squirt, lol.

    Just wanted to point out that not everyone thinks spots are gross. x

    :yuck:

    That is fucking wrong.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i used to wash my face with soap and my spots got worse (much to my annoyance)

    only after a couple of months or so of doing this i was told that washing face with soap is actually BAD for skin and it is bound to get worse.

    so that is my top tip :) - stay away from soap!!! (although i bet everyone out there already knows!!) i use some t-zone stuff now and it seems to be making my skin better! although it is still pretty awful :impissed:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Washing with soap isn't bad for your skin at all, but it can wash away all the moisture. This makes the skin produce more oil to compensate, which means more spots.

    Best thing to do is wash properly twice a day, and remember to moisturise properly using a water-based moisturiser such as Simple Oil Control. If you're a bloke, it's especially important to do this when you've shaved.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    badgerboo wrote:
    I have never ever been put off fancying someone because they have spots, infact a friend of mine loves it when she finds out that her new boyfriends have spotty backs because she likes squeezing them. :yeees:
    hehe, I wouldnt say that I love it when someone has spots, but i certainly dont mind.
    I think it would be annoying to see a big spot and not be allowed to squeeze it though.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    One of my ex boyfriends had severe acne on his face and had spots on his body (chest, back). To be honest, it was never something that really bothered me and it may seem strange, but I hardly noticed them. He had such an attitude and personality that I overlooked that sort of thing.

    My previous ex had a spotty back which he used to get really self conscious about but again, I know it's not because he's dirty, and that some people have spots, some don't. You'll find lots of people are attracted to the enthusiastic and happy, confidant person you are, and overlook what you may seem as physical imperfections.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Are you telling me that a th ephysical condition of a blokes body, ahs no affect on any of you girls at all? Nothing turns you off, nothing puts you off??? The guy could be the elephant man and you'd still be with him??

    Seriously???

    think and give an honest answer.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Walkindude wrote:
    Are you telling me that a th ephysical condition of a blokes body, ahs no affect on any of you girls at all? Nothing turns you off, nothing puts you off??? The guy could be the elephant man and you'd still be with him??

    Seriously???

    think and give an honest answer.

    No one said anything about the elephant man mate. Having spots is a bit different from being fully deformed, dontya think? And yes, it's true that most average girls dig confidence and a guy who know's what he's doing far more than they dig movie star looks (Although they probably help!).....
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I just thought it was a bit unreal for these girls to come on and say nothing physical bothers them and blokes to.

    I don't think the world is that selfless.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Walkindude wrote:
    I just thought it was a bit unreal for these girls to come on and say nothing physical bothers them and blokes to.

    I don't think the world is that selfless.

    Yes i agree that there are a minority of women out there, as there are men that probably only care about looks, but for most people (And this is fact, proved through surveys and stuff) looks alone aren't near the top of the list of qualitites people look for in a partner. If someone looked like the elephant man, then yeah that's different, but this is just a thread about spots and seriously, find me a teenager who never had 'em.....
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Walkindude wrote:
    I just thought it was a bit unreal for these girls to come on and say nothing physical bothers them and blokes to.

    I don't think the world is that selfless.

    No one actually said that. Some people just said that spots don't bother them.

    When your a girl you may tell us how we think. Until then i suggest you read the posts and go by whats already been said.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    LacyMay wrote:
    No one actually said that. Some people just said that spots don't bother them.

    When your a girl you may tell us how we think. Until then i suggest you read the posts and go by whats already been said.


    Well I doubt girls are gonna come on here and say "ewww, spots no, never, disgusting. I only go with nice clear skin guys". Even it is what they really think.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Walkindude wrote:
    Well I doubt girls are gonna come on here and say "ewww, spots no, never, disgusting. I only go with nice clear skin guys". Even it is what they really think.

    You don't know how anyone else thinks, so yeah probably best not to second guess everyone.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    :chin: !
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Kermit wrote:
    I've lost count of how many times you've posted that.
    Spots/acne wouldn't put me off especially as I suffer from it myself.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Stargalaxy mentioned a powerful drug called Roaccutane which could help but a friend of mine said it can cause depression and several people are known to have committed suicide after taking it. I wouldn't be keen on taking that kind of drug, is there any herbal treatment I wonder?

    Thanks girls for saying spots don't bother you but they certainly bother me, everytime I look in the mirror I see just one big heap of puss. How can a guy get any self-confidence from that?

    I wear dark shirts because sometimes the spots have caused bllod & puss to show through on white shirts. I've tried heat treatment and other medicines but they don't seem to work. I know that probably one day it'll clear up but WHEN??
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    My boyfriend had really bad acne when he was a teenager, now his back and legs are all covered in scars. The first time i slept with him i honestly didn't notice until he pointed it out, i'm sure you'll be fine
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Go to your doctor

    Your 25 yes?

    Seriously, go see a doctor because theres loads of stuff they can prescribe, topical or drugs

    Other than that, try pure tea tree oil

    Back to the subject, if a girl refuses to go near you because of acne then shes not really worth it, is she.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Tugger wrote:

    I wear dark shirts because sometimes the spots have caused bllod & puss to show through on white shirts. I've tried heat treatment and other medicines but they don't seem to work. I know that probably one day it'll clear up but WHEN??
    it sounds like its really affecting your life. I think you should DEFINITELY go to the doctor about it. At 25 your acne shouldnt be that bad. You may just even need antibiotics. It might be a skin infection or you may even just have an allergy to something simple. A friend of mines husband cant be around smoke. If hes even at a bus stop and someone is smoking, he often breaks out spots.
    Not saying its that but it could be something similar.
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