Home Travel & Free Time
At The Mix, we want to make our services as helpful as we can. To do this, we’d love to ask you a few questions about you, your visit to The Mix and its impact. It should take only about 5-10 minutes to complete. Take this survey and get a chance at winning a £200 Amazon voucher​.
Come and join our Support Circle, every Tuesday, 8 - 9:30pm! Sign up here

Guys eyeing you up? Guys, girls...

24

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I've noticed a few times whilst in a club with a lot of gay blokes there, sometimes there are one or two stood on the dance floor just staring at me! It is a bit freaky; I don't mind gay people at all, but come on, even if I was gay I wouldn't be attracted to someone standing there like some kind of stalker...have any other blokes (gay or straight) experienced this?
    Ya know they might not be lookng at you. :p And even if they are don't worry, gay men aren't psychos or anything.

    I often look at people in clubs, sometimes individuals look at me back, it doesn't bother me. If a guy makes suggestive comments I just politely decline.

    Mabe ya should be less paranoid.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    lipsy wrote:
    the only time it made me feel uncomfortable was when i lived in france. when you're in england and someone is staring and you make eye contact they usually look away but over there they just continue staring for ages.

    as if, must be really intimidating for you.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    don't worry, gay men aren't psychos or anything.
    I'm not homophobic you know :rolleyes: And believe it or not I do know a ot of gay people - just none who stand in clubs and stare at people. That's why I was trying to relate the situation to girls - to see what it's like to be on the receiving end of it, and if it's the same.
    Mabe ya should be less paranoid.
    There's a big difference between someone giving you a quick look and someone staring at you every time you glance over. I can tell the difference.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Well I managed to dodge the bouncers and sneak into Oceania on a friday with converse on...that was an achievement!

    Actually, speaking of that night, I was out with two girl mates and there were plenty of the 'starers' around (looking at the girls)! And also some guys on the dance floor who came over and did the 'dancing right next to you to try and get your attention' thing (as if you hadn't noticed them looking at you for the past two hours). I had to tell one guy back off because he was being a complete loser. To be honest I can't imagine many girls going for that 'tactic' anyway? Fair enough if you're so fucked you can't talk, but otherwise just say hello :rolleyes:


    so serously going up and saying "hey" works?

    I have to say, the olde rI have gotten, the more I have notice dthe staring guys. Ones that stand and stare. I dont do that, I just look occassionally, se if I can catch a girls eye line, see a smile or something.

    You were lucky, bouncers in leeds can be strict.

    My tip is never wear Rockport shoes or brown shoes coz you won't get in.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Walkindude wrote:
    so serously going up and saying "hey" works?
    Well it's more likely to work than just staring at them all night. I'd say that once you've had some eye contact, you can't hesitate. You don't wanna look like you're spending the entire night trying to pluck up the courage to talk to her. It's hardly creating the best image of you is it? So if you don't wanna go straight over, you can always go do something else for a while. Then if you see her later on the dance floor or at the bar, you can say hey and she should remember you as the guy who she was looking at who disappeared, rather than the guy who's only just plucked up the courage to talk to her.

    There's also the issue of if you walk all the way across the room just to talk to her, you just end up looking like a guy on the pull, rather than someone who's just out having fun. Plus if you get rejected, you've then got to walk all the way back in front of everyone (possibly another girl who you might have been interested, who won't really want to know that she's actually number 5 that you've tried to pull that night).
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    That's true. One thing girls usually go for is confidence! They can smell it on you like dogs can smell fear :D
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    So whats the answer??
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I love exchanging subtle flirty glances across a room, though no guys have ever come and actually spoken to me...

    Only really weird/minging/dodgy guys stare. I had to just get up and leave a club a few weeks ago because this fat old man was staring at me for ages, and started imitating me and stuff. I feel really vulnerable in these kind of situations.

    Eww!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    what I seem to get a lot is girls look and I may catch their eye for a second but they dont smile, then they are dancing or looking round again or whatever.

    if a girl caught my eye, and smiled, giving some encouragement then I would go and talk to her for definate. I just need that little hint that if I did do that, she wouldn't slap me or laugh at me or summat.

    last time I went out I did catch a girls eye and saw her smile but wasnt sure if it was at me so waited for another but it didnt happen and she left...

    you also get girls who are all fine and seem single and then pull out a mobile and are staring into it for ages so no idea if they are single or not and you don't wanna interupt them if its important or something.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Walkindude wrote:
    what I seem to get a lot is girls look and I may catch their eye for a second but they dont smial en then they ar edancing or looking round again or whatever.

    if a girl caught my eye, and smiled, giving some encouragement then I would go and talk to her for deifnate. I just need that little hint that if I did do that, she wouldn't slap me or laugh at me or summat.

    Maybe that's where I'm going wrong! I probably just need to perfect my smiling! :P
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    yes!!!!

    make it clear!!! A lasting smile and the guy is all yours!

    Though one time I did get a girl giving me a lasting smile and I indictaed aif she wnate dto dance, she said no and incidcted if she wnated a drink and she had one, and I wa sleaving at the time so I didnt do anything, figuring it was rejection but maybe it wasn't.. I don't know.

    do you have to make convo before your all kissing away on the dance floor??

    coz I have seen various times, girls and guys not even talking and then suddenly its tongues in each others throats on the dance floor.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Walkindude wrote:
    yes!!!!

    make it clear!!! A lasting smile and the guy is all yours!

    Though one time I did get a girl giving me a lasting smile and I indictaed aif she wnate dto dance, she said no and incidcted if she wnated a drink and she had one, and I wa sleaving at the time so I didnt do anything, figuring it was rejection but maybe it wasn't.. I don't know.

    do you have to make convo before your all kissing away on the dance floor??

    coz I have seen various times, girls and guys not even talking and then suddenly its tongues in each others throats on the dance floor.

    Right! Next time I'm out, I'll make sure that this is tried and tested. Heheh.
    If this is where I've been going wrong...then dammit! I've missed out on a lot of hott opportunities.

    I don't dig the kissing on the dancefloor thing to be honest. I've been dancing and a guy has come over and been like: Hey, then all over me. I mean, I can deal with dancing with a guy, maybe even a bit of grinding. But kissing...euch... Not for me.
    But yes, it does and can happen. However, if it fails (ie, the girl isn't drunk enough) you might end up with a nice big SLAP!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    there aren't set out rules!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I know... but it's all worth a try, right?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    no i just mean Qs like 'are you supposed to talk to her before you kiss her' etc.
    the answer to that Q depends on a lot of variables.

    if i was 17 and drunk i'd say no, just come up to me when i'm dancing and i'd probably get off with you.
    but at my age now i'd say no chance mate. i'd laugh in your face.

    it totally depends on the girl, her age, how drunk she is etc.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Walkindude wrote:
    what I seem to get a lot is girls look and I may catch their eye for a second but they dont smile, then they are dancing or looking round again or whatever.

    if a girl caught my eye, and smiled, giving some encouragement then I would go and talk to her for definate. I just need that little hint that if I did do that, she wouldn't slap me or laugh at me or summat.

    last time I went out I did catch a girls eye and saw her smile but wasnt sure if it was at me so waited for another but it didnt happen and she left...

    you also get girls who are all fine and seem single and then pull out a mobile and are staring into it for ages so no idea if they are single or not and you don't wanna interupt them if its important or something.

    Yeah, as the others have said, its all about confidence...
    You cant spend the night trying to make out weather a girl is giving you the come on or not... just go for it... if she says no, or acts cold then be polite and walk away... at the end of the day you have nothing to lose...

    I used to be really shy and would have to get smiles off someone all night, then in the last 5 mins I would go over, but its still and shows no self confidence...

    You say about girls doing it... I dunno if its your area... I have had girls come up to me a few times in the past, its very flattering imo... and you just have to remeber if you go up to them, even if they arnt interested, they will probably still be flattered!

    p.s woooooah, you said you went to Oceana... isnt the one in Kingston is it?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    JamesZero wrote:
    p.s woooooah, you said you went to Oceana... isnt the one in Kingston is it?
    no we have one in leeds now. my mates always raving about the kingston one coz she comes from there.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Oh right...

    Yeah the one here is pretty good, very big! Easy to get lost though...

    I dunno if they are all the same, but this one is split into loads of different sections with bars, (Aspin, Tokyo etc) Then there is a big 2 floor cheese room... then finally the Ball room (Main room) which is like a Huge converted theatre... (Which it actually is... kinda...)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    JamesZero wrote:
    Oh right...

    Yeah the one here is pretty good, very big! Easy to get lost though...

    I dunno if they are all the same, but this one is split into loads of different sections with bars, (Aspin, Tokyo etc) Then there is a big 2 floor cheese room... then finally the Ball room (Main room) which is like a Huge converted theatre... (Which it actually is... kinda...)
    my friend says that the one is leeds is pretty much the same as the one in kingston but slightly smaller.

    i think its an alright place but during the week its full of 1st years and at the weekend its full of scallies.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I cant get into our one during the week... you need student I.D!!

    Makes me feel old!!

    At the weekends its good though, over 21's... I prefer over 21 places now, tent to get less nob ends in them! (No offence to any under 21 year olds by the way!! :thumb: )
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    JamesZero wrote:
    I cant get into our one during the week... you need student I.D!!

    Makes me feel old!!

    At the weekends its good though, over 21's... I prefer over 21 places now, tent to get less nob ends in them! (No offence to any under 21 year olds by the way!! :thumb: )
    they should have the over-21s here! i don't think they could though because there are quite a few other clubs in leeds which are in direct competition with oceana.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    lipsy wrote:
    they should have the over-21s here! i don't think they could though because there are quite a few other clubs in leeds which are in direct competition with oceana.

    Must be a pain then...

    Alot of the big clubs round me are becoming over 21's at the weekend... or at least on Sat, then just over 18's on friday..
    I tend to go into London more now days though, much better and bigger clubs and it only takes 30 mins or so by tube to get to anywhere decent!

    I go to local clubs if I go out during the week... which I got to stop doing cos it really fucks me up for work! oh well... saying that im off out clubbing tomorrow night! :yippe:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    JamesZero wrote:
    Must be a pain then...

    Alot of the big clubs round me are becoming over 21's at the weekend... or at least on Sat, then just over 18's on friday..
    I tend to go into London more now days though, much better and bigger clubs and it only takes 30 mins or so by tube to get to anywhere decent!

    I go to local clubs if I go out during the week... which I got to stop doing cos it really fucks me up for work! oh well... saying that im off out clubbing tomorrow night! :yippe:
    im off out clubbing tonight :D during the week i go to the big clubs for the student nights but at the weekend i either go to bars or to smaller more expensive clubs.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Yeah thats how I used to do it when I was at college...

    Goes the other way round once you start working... and gets far more expencive :crying:
    I miss being a student!!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Of course not.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Oceania is expensive!!!!!

    So you have to talk them, go up and start talking. Right. But the music is so loud , I can't hear a word they are saying, so they will ask me a question or summat and I'll just be staring blankly or saying yes to a question that doesn't need a yes.

    So the kissing ont he dance floor doesn't work with you guys, but I have seen it loads in clubs myself.

    arrgghh so confusing!!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Walkindude wrote:
    Oceania is expensive!!!!!

    So you have to talk them, go up and start talking. Right. But the music is so loud , I can't hear a word they are saying, so they will ask me a question or summat and I'll just be staring blankly or saying yes to a question that doesn't need a yes.

    So the kissing ont he dance floor doesn't work with you guys, but I have seen it loads in clubs myself.

    arrgghh so confusing!!

    Ok... I think your biggest problem is that you need to CHILL OUT!! :thumb:

    If your that worried about it on the night then people will see it a mile off...
    As for the just walking up and pulling a girl on the dance floor... that will work if you genrally go for younger girls, to be honest, I wouldnt bother.

    If you see someone you like, try to make eye contact, smile.. if she smiles back then go over... introduce yourself and take it from there...

    As for noise... just make sure you lean in when she speaks, It can make things a bit more intermit, but dont get right in her face or anything...

    Good luck mate! ;)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Walkindude wrote:
    Oceania is expensive!!!!!
    no its not!!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    JamesZero wrote:
    As for the just walking up and pulling a girl on the dance floor... that will work if you genrally go for younger girls, to be honest, I wouldnt bother.
    It also often works with girls after a one-night-stand, or girls that have recently broken up with their boyfriends, or are trying to make someone jealous. I've only done it a couple of times, and both times they were a bit older than me. But I find that a lot of girls do it the first few times they go out after splitting up with a long-term boyfriend, especially if they're young andit was their first relationship. So yeah it can work, but don't expect to get any sort of girlfriend out of it.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    hm it depends on the situation...as far as i notice guys my age or a bit older don't seem interested...its the older men i seem to get after me and i find it indimidating. Like when they slow their cars down or just stare and smirk. I had a bad experience at a train station once when i was 13 and i think it's made me very paranoid. :(
Sign In or Register to comment.