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Help needed within 30 mins!! Trust issue!

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Me and my g/f had an argument today. Basically I picked up this girl who's her best mate and a good mate of mine and like just ran around with her on shoulders, everyone was laughing apart from my g/f! She text me saying "Actually something is wrong, you're flirting with Jess and it hurts"..several texts I sent included how Jess was like a sis to me, a friend n thats it, how much I wanted my g/f etc Stuff to re-assure her because nothing is ever going to happen. Several texts later she got a bit arsy with me and was saying how her mates thought that me n jess were flirting etc! I've asked my mates and they say me and jess aren't flirting!! Now, she also said that " she never said anything was going to happen, and i don't particularly mind as im not stoppin u" i text her bk instantly saying " theres nuthin 2 stop", and then i got bk one instantly aswell saying "fucks sake, stop textin me!"..no goodbye at the end of the day, no look, nothing..now I want to text her and say something..any ideas on how to approach this, feedback appreciated ASAP!!!

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Don't text her. Keep the power. Wait for her to text you. She'll cave soon enough.....
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I'd say just leave it a bit, there's no rush. Let her calm down a bit first!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    For a start stop trying to sort this out via text message, talk to her face to face.
    Explain/re-assure her that it is her that you love and that you where just having fun with Jess like friend often do and that you did not realise that your behaviour would up set her so much.

    I do get the feeling that she is over reacting slightly and that may be her friend could be trying to cause trouble between you two, as they have convinced her that you two where flirting. Unless in the past you have actually given her a realm reason to be worried about.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    give her time to calm down and realise she is overeacting.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I'd give her some space, perhaps try texting her tomorrow when she's had time to calm down and maybe realise she over-reacted :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thanks for the advice..what normally happens is just as im drifting off to sleep I will get a text message from her and end up staying awake half the night texting her lol!! and i've never given her any reason to think I don't trust her, I never look at other girls, talk about other girls etc Me and Jess are good mates, we're like brother and sister ya know, she's got someone exactly like that and I piped up about it so I know how she's feeling, but I caved in quickly and realised I was being stupid..the thing bout my g/f is I think she won't do the same and this will carry on..i'm sposed to be going to hers 2moz..lol..that could be fun :P
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    makes me a bit suspicious, if she's paranoid about your innocent frienships, maybe there's something not so innocent in one of hers?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Lol, shes never cheated on any of her b/fs..thats why I trust her so much..if there was something going on, I'd know just due to the fact im so close to her mates aswell, n they wud tell me if anything was going on!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    She is restraining you too much, IMO. I would be pretty angry if someone claimed I was flirting when I haven't. This problem seems to revolve around a misunderstanding.

    Leave the ice alone. :p
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Lol..i've put it into my perspective..if she did exactly the same thing, it wouldn't bother me..the thing that really really fucked me off was when I put this Jess girl down I went to give my g/f a hug and she backed away..then I went to give her a kiss bout 15 mins later and she said "no i don't want one"!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    She sounds really immature. Just wait for her to contact you, it doesn't seem like you've done anything wrong.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    text messages are a really bad way of solving problems, speaking from plenty of experience. yes she may well have overreacted, but if its something she's sensitive about then you need to be understanding, tell her you were just messing about, and didn't realise it would upset her- if you'd known you would never have done it etc.
    also, just because you've never given her reasons to doubt you doesn't mean she wont have trust issues- she could have issues due to previous relationships, or from seeing her friends' relationships going wrong, even her parents' (if applicable)? and you need to be sensitive- everyone has weak spots.
    it would be easy enough to get into an argument over this; by being defensive and insisting you have done nothing wrong, sometimes you just need to say sorry, even if you dont consider yourself to be in the wrong; something you did, however innocent, has upset her, so what you're actually asking forgiveness for is not picking your mate up, but for hurting your girlfriend. once you have won her over and have her forgiveness, quickly recap saying you didn't see anything wrong with what you were doing- remind her it was only a small thing, impress on her that its only a friendship, and that any such action is just rough and tumble, and that no one could ever be a threat to her... no one compares, shes wonderful etc...now move in for the kill and kiss her tenderly and passionately!
    in summary: be sweet- we love it
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Don't communicate by text, there is no context and its so easy to get the wrong end of the stick.

    I'd also tell your gf to grow up a bit.
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