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He's driving me mad!

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
in Sex & Relationships
My boyfriend recently moved in (about a month ago) and I am so stressed out right now. I dont honestly think that we were going out long enough before making this big a commitment. We have aruguments every bloody day.

Most of it is over stupid things and we end up not talking to each other. The problem is I really dont love him even though he says he loves me all the time. Half of me thinks I will love him, given time but I'm not so sure.

He does seem so lazy sometimes, and he can be a bit immature.

If he does decide to leave, or if I tell him to move out then he has to move back to France, where his parents live, and I would miss him.

What should I do?? :(

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    If you don't mind me asking, how long have you been together and when did you move in with each other?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Are you in each others faces all day every day? Is that why your arguing?
    Maybe your personal space is being invaded a little to much? Perhaps youve decided to move in together to early on
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    how long have you been together?

    you really should have waited till you knew you loved him before moving in together. What if it never happens? then what will you do? How long are you going to give it?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    The reason we moved in together so soon is because we really wanted to make a go of it otherwise he would have moved to france with his parents as his dad had a work transfer & sold the house.

    I think we do spend too much time together as he hasnt found a job yet, and although I have told him he needs to find one, I do all the work helping him search for jobs, he can be a bit lazy.

    I am lost for what to do :(
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I'd say just give it some time as its a big change going from seeing someone to living with them. Even going on holiday is a challenge with your boyfriend if you're not used to spending that much time together. So give it some time, make sure you spend time together as well as time apart, such as with your own friends so that you can get some space that way. Try doing some nice things together with your boyfriend, such as romantic meals, going for walks etc so that time together is special and you still appreciate each other :)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    talk to him about it, chances are he feels the same if you're arguing every day.

    maybe he can move out and then see where you go from there.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    tell him how you feel - that youd like him to make more of an effort in looking for a job and that you cant keep doing it for him. you'll never get any further forward unless you talk to him about how you're feeling, then you can both work out what the best thing is to do.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Moving in with a partner makes or breaks the relationship, and if he's pissing you off already I don't give you much hope, to be quite honest. Even if two people really dig each other it can destroy the relationship, if you're not even that bothered about him then I don't give it much chance.

    You can learn to love someone, but how long are you going to wait? 10 minutes? 10 years? Till you die?

    If things aren't right, you need to change them. If that involves booting blokey into touch then that's what you've got to do.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Give it a while to see what happens with the situation. If things are still bad then talk to him about it.

    At least you can say you tried if it doesn't work, but you never know- things could get better with the both of you.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hi all, thanks for your replies & for advice. Things got a bit 2 much and he has moved out for now, not sure where im going from here. Think I could just do with time on my own tbh lol. He wants to carry on with the relationship but I just think it will be too detructive. :eek:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    well make sure you keep talking to him.

    You always learn alot about some one when you live with them.

    Good luck, and if its meant to be sure you will work things out.
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