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how well do you get on with your parents?
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
i suppose as you get older of course the bonds between parent and child start to weaken a little, but i've got to a stage were i don't see my mother as a mother anymore, i see her more as distant family...i suppose it's a matter of trust, and part of growing up, and the distance physically and mentaly between us that has made it this way...
but does anyone else feel that they no longer really know their parents and just feel like they are distant family rather than the people that brought you up?
but does anyone else feel that they no longer really know their parents and just feel like they are distant family rather than the people that brought you up?
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i wouldn't have thought so.
i'm the opposite, infact.
while i was at school i was horrible to my mum, treated her with no respect whatsoever. and in return i wasn't treated very well back so it made things worse.
now i'm nearly 21 and at uni i have so much more appreciation for my mum and stepdad, i realise how much they do for me and because i've grown up (ish!) i'm more respectful and realise how much they do for me.
Similar-ish.
When I was younger I didn't treat her as well as I do now. Although geographically we are not, we are fairly close.
This is the same for my dad too.
Of course, I'm still always "lending" a tenner.
I get on better with my mum, though again it's just a completely different relationship. I'm daddy's little girl because I only have brothers, but I have interests in common with my mum that mean we spend time together out of choice not just habit (I wanted to say "obligation", but that's not the right word...can't think!). If that makes sense.
i guess its due partly to the fact my younger sister (16) moved out after a huge fight and now lives with my dad, so now its just me and my 12 year old twin sisters who live with mum. i guess now its just me then i get more attention. plus we can talk about more stuff than when i was younger!!
with my dad, our relationship is as good as its always been since ive come to uni it may have suffered a liittle bit but generally we get on fine. always gonna be daddys little girl!
My relationship with my parents deffinately changed as i went into my teens but i couldn't say how. I suppose it'll change again as i get older and move etc.. but i don't think i'll ever feel like their just relatives.
lol sorry that sounds funny.
But as I've got older I've come to realise that my Dad isn't the nicest person around, and his beliefs leave me with a sense of confusion and anger. He's not the sort of person I'd associate myself with normally, but he's my dad and I love him, and he's a right laugh sometimes. I just wish he wasn't so 'set in his ways'....
Ilora x
My dad used to live close to me when I was younger. Him and my mum split up when she was 3 months pregnant. He wanted to help raise me, but their relationship was too difficult. I saw his parents about once a week, though, as they lived in the same village. I think I must have been about 7 when he moved to Glastonbury, then Wales, because I don't remember seeing him frequently. Our relationship now consists of us seeing each other maybe 4 times a year, and him sending me an allowance every month (I call it guilt money). I think he's too tied in with his job.
My mums been with her bf David for 12 years now, and they've been engaged for about 8, so he's practically my stepdad. We all live in the same house, and they had a son together, my half-bro, who's almost 8. I don't see him as a father figure - I don't think I need one - and we clash a lot over chores. I'm really used to having him around, though, and hes a lot of help.
My mum and i have always been close in that we can have a laugh together and keep each other company. Throughout my teens i was a bitch and was never in but now im older we have a good time shopping together and things like that but im not very open with her.
As for my mum, she does have some good parts, but I've realised what a selfish and controlling ***** she is. I can't say I like her, no.
I feel a bit more distant from my dad with only seeing him at weekends, and not always every week but I don't remember ever having any arguments with him or anything like that.
Occasionally have the odd row with my mum but that's usually if we both hit PMS at the same time! :rolleyes:
same.
i went through the 'arrgh i'm so independent you don't understand me i don't need you' phase when i was 16/17/18.
now they've learned to deal with me and i've learned to deal with them and everyone's happy.
I've also developed a new kind of respect for my Mum now that I am actually a Mum myself.
thats exactly the same with me exaaactly
i go to my mums during the uni holidays.
i get on quite well with my mum when im in one county and she's in another, but as soon as i am back at hers the arguing begins, we can never seem to spend more than 24 hours together. I think its because i never went through the rebelious teen stage and always did what she said and she still thinks she can control me now that i am 22. I wouldnt mind sao much if it was over big things because then atleast i could say its because she cares but she shouts at me because i bort a brand of shampoo (for me!) that she told me she didnt like, or because i take everything out the washing up bowl before i fill it with water, im like does it really matter? :eek2:
The main thing that we argue about is my weight, she thinks that because her main aim in life is to be thin, then it sould be everyones. She's been like that with me from souch a young age its no wonder i have issues with ood.
my dad i have no respect for whatsoever. He left us when i was about 5 under the pretence that he was working on a cruise ship. he came back for about 2 weeks a year but had his girlfriend working with him on the ships.
my mum found out and went mad so he continued on the ships and had no contact/ sent no money until i was about 14. I find it disgusting that he could just abandon his own children and leve my mum struggeling to make ends meet. now i find myself using my dad for what i can get off him (travel, money ect). i know he is trying to buy my love etc but he doesnt realise he has to earn it. I wish i could afford to turn down what he is offering but i cant. i cant wait for the day that i can.
god that turned into a long post.
The annoying thing is, i want us to be closer but feel like he's not bothered
Mum - Shes my rock. I couldnt live without her and thats my honest truth. School was never easy for me and shes the only one I could ever talk too. I love her to bits and would do nything for her. I dont wanna move out of home because I wont see her as much!
I know dad cares a whole lot as well, but I don't feel as close emotionally as I am to my mum. He doesn't quite know how to approach me and I'm a bit socially inept as well but he shows his affection differently than my mum does. He is always ready to help me if he can. I feel quite miserable these days because he's miserable at work and it's affecting his whole life and I really wish I could do something but I don't think I can.
Although i guess thats similar to most teenagers/uni students