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how well do you get on with your parents?

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
i suppose as you get older of course the bonds between parent and child start to weaken a little, but i've got to a stage were i don't see my mother as a mother anymore, i see her more as distant family...i suppose it's a matter of trust, and part of growing up, and the distance physically and mentaly between us that has made it this way...

but does anyone else feel that they no longer really know their parents and just feel like they are distant family rather than the people that brought you up?
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Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i've got closer to my mum now shes not mollycuddling me as much and giving me more freedom
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I'm much closer to my dad than I am my mum - according to mum, I'm his favourite child... :rolleyes:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i suppose as you get older of course the bonds between parent and child start to weaken a little


    i wouldn't have thought so.

    i'm the opposite, infact.

    while i was at school i was horrible to my mum, treated her with no respect whatsoever. and in return i wasn't treated very well back so it made things worse.

    now i'm nearly 21 and at uni i have so much more appreciation for my mum and stepdad, i realise how much they do for me and because i've grown up (ish!) i'm more respectful and realise how much they do for me.
  • littlemissylittlemissy Posts: 9,972 Supreme Poster
    i wouldn't have thought so.

    i'm the opposite, infact.

    while i was at school i was horrible to my mum, treated her with no respect whatsoever. and in return i wasn't treated very well back so it made things worse.

    now i'm nearly 21 and at uni i have so much more appreciation for my mum and stepdad, i realise how much they do for me and because i've grown up (ish!) i'm more respectful and realise how much they do for me.

    Similar-ish.

    When I was younger I didn't treat her as well as I do now. Although geographically we are not, we are fairly close.

    This is the same for my dad too.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I get on with my Dad really really well - he's my best friend and I can tell him anything. I'm 20 and we've always had this kind of relationship.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    it's different with my dad. my parents divorced when i was 6 and i spent the next 6 years alternating who i was living with from week to week. at this point i was always a daddys girl and blamed my mum for the divorce. but now i'm older i realise my dad wasn't the great person i thought he was. course i love him, but my mum's been there for me more than my dad but that can't be helped i guess as he does live a few hundred miles away!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    My relationship with my parents has changed, though I don't think it's become better or worse. I suppose that's normal, I'm an adult now so we have an adult relationship rather than them "parenting" me, so to speak.

    Of course, I'm still always "lending" a tenner. ;)

    I get on better with my mum, though again it's just a completely different relationship. I'm daddy's little girl because I only have brothers, but I have interests in common with my mum that mean we spend time together out of choice not just habit (I wanted to say "obligation", but that's not the right word...can't think!). If that makes sense.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    now that im older the relationships with my parents have got better, not worse. especially with my mum


    i guess its due partly to the fact my younger sister (16) moved out after a huge fight and now lives with my dad, so now its just me and my 12 year old twin sisters who live with mum. i guess now its just me then i get more attention. plus we can talk about more stuff than when i was younger!!
    with my dad, our relationship is as good as its always been :D since ive come to uni it may have suffered a liittle bit but generally we get on fine. always gonna be daddys little girl!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I have a pretty good relationship with my mum - I can talk to her about almost everything. With my dad it's different, i wouldn't talk to him about a lot of things, not because he wouldn't understand etc.. but just because I wouldn't feel comfortable talking to him about them.. with me and my dad it's usually just like small talk.. TV, music.. etc.. So yeah, i'd say i was closer to my mum.

    My relationship with my parents deffinately changed as i went into my teens but i couldn't say how. I suppose it'll change again as i get older and move etc.. but i don't think i'll ever feel like their just relatives.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I get on well with both my parents. I used tog et on way better with my dad but that went back to when I was born and there are always photos of baby me with dad rather than mum. But now Ive grown up, she sees me as an adult and we get on better. She now tells me if she's worried about me doing something and we discuss it. I think its because she's realised that from September Ill be at uni :nervous: and she'll be in a house of guys and she never really did anything girly with me so she's making up for it. However, I do still tend to tell dad things first Im daddy's girl and can't help it. :D
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I only really get on well with my dad when I go out with him on a Sunday night but I get on with my mam all week.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    lea_uk wrote:
    I only really get on well with my dad when I go out with him on a Sunday night but I get on with my mam all week.

    lol sorry that sounds funny. :p
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Me and my mum are uber close. We're like best friends really. We have our disagreements as any mother and daughter do, but we're never not chatting to each other. Personality wise we're very similar, and have a lot of similar tastes, so that helps.

    But as I've got older I've come to realise that my Dad isn't the nicest person around, and his beliefs leave me with a sense of confusion and anger. He's not the sort of person I'd associate myself with normally, but he's my dad and I love him, and he's a right laugh sometimes. I just wish he wasn't so 'set in his ways'....

    Ilora x
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I'm pretty dependant on my mum, as shes been my only reliable parent throughout my life. But I don't get to spend much time with her - she's always got a ton of things to do, and a lot of responsibilities within the family and locally. Sometimes I get the feeling she avoids spending time at home with us. When I am with her, we talk a lot about Art and Fashion and other intellectual things, and I think of her as an amazingly strong and intelligent woman, but I don't always feel comfortable with her. She's not physically affectionate - she never hugs or touches me, and I think that might be why I'm not a huggy person.

    My dad used to live close to me when I was younger. Him and my mum split up when she was 3 months pregnant. He wanted to help raise me, but their relationship was too difficult. I saw his parents about once a week, though, as they lived in the same village. I think I must have been about 7 when he moved to Glastonbury, then Wales, because I don't remember seeing him frequently. Our relationship now consists of us seeing each other maybe 4 times a year, and him sending me an allowance every month (I call it guilt money). I think he's too tied in with his job.

    My mums been with her bf David for 12 years now, and they've been engaged for about 8, so he's practically my stepdad. We all live in the same house, and they had a son together, my half-bro, who's almost 8. I don't see him as a father figure - I don't think I need one - and we clash a lot over chores. I'm really used to having him around, though, and hes a lot of help.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I dont see my Dad anymore. Ive never really known him properly anyway.
    My mum and i have always been close in that we can have a laugh together and keep each other company. Throughout my teens i was a bitch and was never in but now im older we have a good time shopping together and things like that but im not very open with her.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Absolutely fine. I dont expect to be like close friends or anything with them, but I dont hate their guts either. Pretty normal, I suppose.
  • Indrid ColdIndrid Cold Posts: 16,688 Skive's The Limit
    Less than perfect. I used to like my mum more because my dad seemed kind of evil, but from some point onwards he suddenly changed... No idea why. Then something happened that made me dislike him again, and although that's resolved now and I have nothing against him, the breach hasn't been repaired. We get on really well, but we're not as close as (I imagine) father and children should be.
    As for my mum, she does have some good parts, but I've realised what a selfish and controlling ***** she is. I can't say I like her, no.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I get on with both my parents and always have. I live with my mum and shes more like a housemate than a parent.
    I feel a bit more distant from my dad with only seeing him at weekends, and not always every week but I don't remember ever having any arguments with him or anything like that.
    Occasionally have the odd row with my mum but that's usually if we both hit PMS at the same time! :rolleyes:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i'm the opposite, infact.

    while i was at school i was horrible to my mum, treated her with no respect whatsoever. and in return i wasn't treated very well back so it made things worse.

    same.

    i went through the 'arrgh i'm so independent you don't understand me i don't need you' phase when i was 16/17/18.

    now they've learned to deal with me and i've learned to deal with them and everyone's happy.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I get on with them so much better now that I dont live with them.

    I've also developed a new kind of respect for my Mum now that I am actually a Mum myself.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I don't like them and I'm sure the feeling's mutual. I scrounge money off my Dad and babysitting off my Mom...
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Cazzoo wrote:
    I have a pretty good relationship with my mum - I can talk to her about almost everything. With my dad it's different, i wouldn't talk to him about a lot of things, not because he wouldn't understand etc.. but just because I wouldn't feel comfortable talking to him about them.. with me and my dad it's usually just like small talk.. TV, music.. etc.. So yeah, i'd say i was closer to my mum.

    My relationship with my parents deffinately changed as i went into my teens but i couldn't say how. I suppose it'll change again as i get older and move etc.. but i don't think i'll ever feel like their just relatives.

    thats exactly the same with me :) exaaactly :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Alright I suppose...I get on quite well with my mum and my dad when he's sober. But when he's drunk me and him have a lot fights.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Think as i've got older i've got closer to my parents. I see them at least once a week on a sunday for Roast Dinner YUM!!!! :D But if i'm going to a airsoft game on the sunday i'll try to see them on the saturday.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i speak to my dad about twice a month and my mum atleast once a day.

    i go to my mums during the uni holidays.

    i get on quite well with my mum when im in one county and she's in another, but as soon as i am back at hers the arguing begins, we can never seem to spend more than 24 hours together. I think its because i never went through the rebelious teen stage and always did what she said and she still thinks she can control me now that i am 22. I wouldnt mind sao much if it was over big things because then atleast i could say its because she cares but she shouts at me because i bort a brand of shampoo (for me!) that she told me she didnt like, or because i take everything out the washing up bowl before i fill it with water, im like does it really matter? :eek2:

    The main thing that we argue about is my weight, she thinks that because her main aim in life is to be thin, then it sould be everyones. She's been like that with me from souch a young age its no wonder i have issues with ood.

    my dad i have no respect for whatsoever. He left us when i was about 5 under the pretence that he was working on a cruise ship. he came back for about 2 weeks a year but had his girlfriend working with him on the ships.

    my mum found out and went mad so he continued on the ships and had no contact/ sent no money until i was about 14. I find it disgusting that he could just abandon his own children and leve my mum struggeling to make ends meet. now i find myself using my dad for what i can get off him (travel, money ect). i know he is trying to buy my love etc but he doesnt realise he has to earn it. I wish i could afford to turn down what he is offering but i cant. i cant wait for the day that i can.

    god that turned into a long post.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Well my Mum is one of my best friends and she's my hero because she's so strong... As for my father, I'm learning to forgive him as there's no point in holding on to negative emotions. If anything I should thank m father because what he never gave me makes me appreciate love even more when I have it.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I feel exactly the same as you have described, but with my dad.

    The annoying thing is, i want us to be closer but feel like he's not bothered
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Dad - Im close to him but also not if you get me. It depends on our moods, hes a right hypocritical old sod and thinks hes all high and mighty and that women are there to do everything around the house which causes friction between him and my mum as well as with me. If we go and see United play and stay up in Manchester for the weekend we get on well. Its just when we are home that we dont get on so good lol.

    Mum - Shes my rock. I couldnt live without her and thats my honest truth. School was never easy for me and shes the only one I could ever talk too. I love her to bits and would do nything for her. I dont wanna move out of home because I wont see her as much!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I've been getting closer to my mum as I grow older. I used to think she was against me and hated me and all that teen-angsty-bullshit but now I've come to realise that she genuinely cares and it's made me feel so appreciative of her.

    I know dad cares a whole lot as well, but I don't feel as close emotionally as I am to my mum. He doesn't quite know how to approach me and I'm a bit socially inept as well but he shows his affection differently than my mum does. He is always ready to help me if he can. I feel quite miserable these days because he's miserable at work and it's affecting his whole life and I really wish I could do something but I don't think I can. :(
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I don't get on that great with my parents as even tho I'm 19, they still try to treat me like I'm 5, which is nice sometimes, although I'm quite independent so we used to fall out over it a lot. It's got better since I've been away at Uni though. As i can have them as little or as involved in my life as i like, via phone calls etc. And when I'm at Uni i miss some of the mollycoddling that they give me when i'm back home, so i appreciate them more when i do go back.... although only for a while... anymore than a week and I'm ready to leave :p
    Although i guess thats similar to most teenagers/uni students :p
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