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partners vs friends

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
in Sex & Relationships
how far do you agree with this statement?

"a friend will tell you whats what if you start putting your other half first but a true friend will sit back and welcome you with open arms when it finishes."

to be honest me and my mate were talking about this the other day and i think its completely true. i know when my mate has a boyfrend that im not going to be seeing her that often because in some ways a boyfriend can offer more than i can, like can make you feel more special and im fine with that even if i didnt see her for months id still be right there when she needed me.

do you think thats wrong and that partners should never come before friends or can you see where im coming from?

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    it actually really pisses me off when a friend gets a new partner and all of a sudden never has time for friends, then is all over them again soon as the relationship has gone horribly wrong, wanting sympathy.

    But on the other hand, i wouldnt stop being someones friend because they did this.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    littleoleme wrote:
    how far do you agree with this statement?

    "a friend will tell you whats what if you start putting your other half first but a true friend will sit back and welcome you with open arms when it finishes."

    to be honest me and my mate were talking about this the other day and i think its completely true. i know when my mate has a boyfrend that im not going to be seeing her that often because in some ways a boyfriend can offer more than i can, like can make you feel more special and im fine with that even if i didnt see her for months id still be right there when she needed me.

    do you think thats wrong and that partners should never come before friends or can you see where im coming from?

    Most people continue their friendships whilst more spending time with the boy/girlfriends. I don't really understand what the problem is. Obviously you're going to be spending more time with and giving more attention to someone you're going with, a lot of people who have serious problems with this are most likely insecure and jealous.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I hate that sayin, "bros before hos". It's common sense that when you get a new partner, and it gets serious that your priorities change. Yes, you should always have time for a girly night out or a bitch fest over brunch or whatever, but when you inherit a new partner, they often become your best friend and can, as someone has said, offer a lot more in ways of a relationship.

    Saying that, I would not have the time to waste on an ex mate who had dumped me for her boyfriend the entire time. That doesn't stand in my books. I would always welcome a friend with open arms who had just split with their bf or gf, as long as they had remained friends with me throughout the courtship and not neglected me for weeks on end.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Blah wrote:
    it actually really pisses me off when a friend gets a new partner and all of a sudden never has time for friends, then is all over them again soon as the relationship has gone horribly wrong, wanting sympathy.

    But on the other hand, i wouldnt stop being someones friend because they did this.

    Agreed. If you wanted to be greeted with the open arms, you can't forget about your friends in the first place. You shouldn't put friends before partners nor the other way around. There needs to be a healthy medium or your going to be losing one of them.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    my_name wrote:
    Agreed. If you wanted to be greeted with the open arms, you can't forget about your friends in the first place. You shouldn't put friends before partners nor the other way around. There needs to be a healthy medium or your going to be losing one of them.

    Our evolutionary purpose is to procreate. This being so, it's normal for someone to place their partner before their same-sex friends, especially when it's looking to be a long term relationship. Treating someone who's potentially a life-long partner on equal par with your pals is absurd. People will always put love before friendship when it occurs, and rightly so.

    And it's still easy enough to maintain your social circle anyway.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You should be prepared to put your partner before everything, including your friends. You should rarely ask your partner to put you before their friends
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Spliffie wrote:
    Our evolutionary purpose is to procreate. This being so, it's normal for someone to place their partner before their same-sex friends, especially when it's looking to be a long term relationship. Treating someone who's potentially a life-long partner on equal par with your pals is absurd. People will always put love before friendship when it occurs, and rightly so.

    And it's still easy enough to maintain your social circle anyway.

    But its a different matter when your friends literally dont bother with you while they have a partner, as in no contact and always refuse to come out, ever.

    I dont expect them to be free any where near as much as when they were single, i just dont appreciate being completely forgotton as a friend, until the day comes where said person splits from partner and all of a sudden i am the best thing since sliced bread again
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