Hmm.

Former Member · February 2006

I finished with my bloke of 19 months today because we had a little arguement last night abd i stormed off(not the first time) and i love him to pieces but it dont feel special anymore. Have I made the right choice. I do love him but I dont enjoy being with him? Is this wrong? I havent even cried, surely if it wasnt meant to be I would have? I dunno

Former Member · February 2006

Mate

Have you felt like this for a while? Like it wasn't as special as it used to be? have you spoken to him today at all?

When I finished with my fella last year after over 2 years, I loved him but I didn't like spending time with him anymore... it was like we'd completely grown apart. The slightest thing annoyed me when I was with him and I just couldn't go on being like that. I didn't cry at all, but I did feel a bit horrible for a while.

If you wanna talk, gimme a PM. Love you loads mate, hope everything turns out OK. xxx

Former Member · February 2006

if you dont feel special anymore it might either be a problem in your relationship, or it could be that issues from the rest of your life are impacting on how you feel. small arguaments are a symptom, they're not a cause, if you care about him deeply still, talk to him about how you feel- tell him that you dont feel special, and talk about what might have changed.

Former Member · February 2006

First of all, I'm sorry...I sympathise a lot and hope you're not feeling too godawful just now.

I don't know that you can rely on tears as an indicator of whether or not it was the right decision, you're probably more in shock right now at the chain of events and how quickly it's all happened. I'd say that if a little argument made you feel like you had to end things then the relationship's probably not right for you anymore, it's hard to be rational and detach your love for him (which is obviously not going to dissipate overnight) from whether or not the relationship is working for you anymore...which it isn't if you're not enjoying the time you're spending together.

My perspective on it has changed a lot in the last months, having gone through the very swift break-up of a long-term relationships...I think life's too short to stick around in a relationship that you're not happy in, in which you don't enjoy spending time with the other person. It sounds selfish, and he may well be gobsmacked, but you need to look out for your own interests and protect your own heart and own feelings fiercely.

Give yourself a bit of time, of course the argument might've clouded your judgment - but you do sound quite resolute. I hope you can put it all to rights in your own head and decide what's best for you...and him. Keep your chin up, sweetheart.

Former Member · February 2006

Basic Instinct wrote:

I finished with my bloke of 19 months today because we had a little arguement last night abd i stormed off(not the first time) and i love him to pieces but it dont feel special anymore. Have I made the right choice. I do love him but I dont enjoy being with him? Is this wrong? I havent even cried, surely if it wasnt meant to be I would have? I dunno

Ah Lisa, sounds too much like what Scott and I had pet. I think you're well rid. I loved Scott, but I hated being with him because it felt like I was there out of habit and couldn't get any better - which is such a shit feeling.

I'd say break away, and relax. Relax as in not having to worry about the next fight or who'll cancel out on who or whatever. It's not worth the stress if it's that complicated and has been for a good while; which you've told me for a bit.

Be your own person for a bit, I bet you've lost a great bit of who you used to be because you were probably pussyfooting around to make things bearable.

I know you love him, but I think you just love him because it's a habit of being with him, breaking up, being with him. You seriously are in need of consistancy.

He'll always be special to you, but your sanity comes first. It's taken me just over two years to admit to it.

Former Member · February 2006

1983 wrote:

My hopes are so high
that your kiss might kill me.
So won't you kill me,
so I die happy. My heart is
yours to fill or burst,
to break or bury,
or wear as jewellery,
which ever you prefer.

It took me ages to figure out where i knew this from...Dashboard confessional rock!

As for the problem in the thread...not a lot i can say really...it will take a long time to get over, no doubts there. just one of those horrible things in life that are bound to happen sometimes..

Former Member · February 2006

icey wrote:

It took me ages to figure out where i knew this from...Dashboard confessional rock!

Dashboard Confessional are the motherfucking shit, son.

Again I Go Unnoticed is very relevant to this post.

So quiet
Another wasted night
The television steals the conversation
Exhale
Another wasted breath
Again it goes unnoticed

Please tell me you're just feeling tired
'cause if it's more than that I fear that I might break
Out of touch out of time
Please send me anything but signals that are mixed
'cause I can't read your rolling eyes
Out of touch are we out of time

Close lipped
Another goodnight kiss
Is robbed of all its passion
Your grip
Another time is slack
It leaves me feeling empty

Please tell me you're just feeling tired
'cause if it's more than that I feel that I might break
Out of touch out of time
Please send me anything but signals that are mixed
'cause I can't read your rolling eyes
Out of touch are we out of time

I'll wait until tomorrow
Maybe you'll feel better then
Maybe we'll be better then
So what's another day
When I can't bear these nights of thoughts of going on without you
This mood of yours is temporary
It seems worth the wait
To see you smile again
Out of the corner of my eye
Won’t be the only way you're looking at me then

So quiet
Another wasted night
The television steals the conversation
Exhale
Another wasted breath
Again it goes unnoticed

Former Member · February 2006

thats just made me think about my own relationship....... :chin:

Things seem to have been getting better lately..i hope it was just a phase..

Former Member · February 2006

icey wrote:

thats just made me think about my own relationship....... :chin:
Things seem to have been getting better lately..i hope it was just a phase..

Telling ya, I am soooo done with blokes. I've had nowt but crap. 'Tis time for me to sort myself out and then maybe think about it. Indeedio.

Former Member · February 2006

you know i think tonight is a sort of reflection night for a lot of people tonight..me included!

Former Member · February 2006

Aww hunny bun, we're all here and stuff if you need a good chinwag. For the time being i'd just take each day as it comes and see how you feel, maybe a little space and time apart will do you both good let you clear your head and maybe re-evaluate the situation in a week or so, but you deserve to be happy, there is no point staying in a relationship just for love if at the end of the day it's going to make you miserable.

Thinking of you and stuff

Former Member · February 2006

Cheers everyone. He wants me back an keeps trying so hard but I'm gonna stick with my gut feeling coz at the end of the day,if it was meant to be it isnt going anywhere so i can always get it back. All we do is argue when we are together and he keeps telling me its a rough patch yadda yadda yadda but I just cant handle it. I think i just need some time on my own.

Cheers again x

Hmm.

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