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Virgin Bride
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
I have quite a few friends who intend to, or wish they had, save themselves for marriage.
Personally I was not planning on this, but recently just got thinking about it.
Is anyone on here saving themselves for marriage, or is it just prudish? Thoughts and opinions?
Personally I was not planning on this, but recently just got thinking about it.
Is anyone on here saving themselves for marriage, or is it just prudish? Thoughts and opinions?
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You want to save your hymen, I've heard. Guess what, its going to break before hand, horseback riding, sports, tampons, heavy bleeding, some people dont even have one. Plus, how is breaking fold of mucous membrane partly closing the orifice of the vagina cool? Whatever.
And in my opinion, I'm glad I'm not and I'm glad he's not. I really don't want my wedding night to be nothing more than tired ackward know nothing sex that hurts.
i have a christian friend who says her mum wont let her have kids outside of marriage. i don't see how being/not being married makes you better parents? what does it change at the end of the day?
When you married someone it should be more than sex.
So if he is shit, will that make you love your husband less?
Sex show love, but sex is not the center of Love.
Well that's my opinion.
My mother lived with someone she wasn't married to when I was a child and I used to fear she would leave him for somone else. I think I would have been more secure if they were married even though marriage can end too of course.
I don't agree with the next part though- that if he is bad at sex you will love him less. I would say that you would love him just as much and would work through your sexual problems together.
Sex can show love but loveless sex and sexless love are also possible.
If I love someone so much I want to marry them, then im going to want to make love to them as well.
My brother and his ex wife were B.A.Christians, and they didnt have sex with each other till marriage (although they both had sexual relationships in the past before they were born again) and they really rushed into that marriage, probably desperate to sleep with each other.
I believe in "try before you buy", not because I wouldnt stay with someone even if sexually incompatible - If I loved them id stay whatever, but I still see no real reason for waiting if you dont have to.
My second part was more a question actually, just fogot the ? at the end of my sentence.
Otherwise I agree totally with you.
Also I would not wait myself to do it unless the other one wanted me too.
And thank god it aint the case
But that's not how life is. I don't think sleeping around is good for anyone, regardless of how fun they try to pretend it is, but I think focusing on sex as the core aspect of marriage is a terrible mistake.
Bullshit puritanism.
And yes, as we are not yet married, I am still hiding the fact that we are sleeping together from almost everyone.
I don't think a girl has to wait until her actual wedding night - a good comprimise might be to try sex after getting engaged to someone
I know someone that got married and had never slept with their new husband and found out that night he had erection problems - damn shame too cos it was like 6 months before viagra came out.
My best friend has being going out with a lad for 2 years and they are both saving themselves. Well actually i think deep down she wants it but he is very religious and far too sensible for me (we really dont get on). They have been having their problems lately but im just going to leave them to it.
In conclusion to rant, i disagree but if thats someone elses opinion im not going to say their wrong, i respect everyones opinion. (not very good with the words today just been on an army thing for 2 weeks and have no energy)
not what he told me too.
She's not aloud out much now, only down the shops and to female mates houses for a couple of hours. She thinks that marrige will give her the freedom that most people get when they turn 18.
In the end i didn't save myself for the wedding night but when i realised that i was in love and i was sure about how he felt. I thought why the hell not, now we are married and happier than i ever imagined
im intrigued as to what evidence you are basing this opinion on?
I dont know exact figures, but I know an awful lot of marriages, in fact i'd probably dare use the word 'most', are ending in divorce/seperation nowadays.
Call me idealistic, but Id like to think 'if it's meant to be it's meant to be'. And I think being a good parent is not dependant on whether you are married or not, in this day and age it is quite possible to make a child feel secure in a loving family unit regardless of a bit of paper, just like it is as easy to make a child feel insecure and anxious in a disfunctional family unit that holds a marriage certificate.