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help!
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
I need help, i have been seeing my boyfriend for nearly 4 months now, yeah ok there is a 10 yr age gap but for some reason we have only had sex once. We do everything else and he says am amazing and that. but he won't go any further.. he says a few ex g.f have told him he was no good and bed that was why they dump him! any one any idea's?
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Agree maybe he isn't ready, sex shouldn't be rushed and should only be done when both people feel ready. Don't force the issue becuase you wouldn't like it if he did it to you. Just talk to him.
It really sounds like he is worried that you will also tell him that he is bad in bed too, but the fact he says you are amazing, it sounds like he does really care for you. He is just worried about your reaction if he has sex with you.
Youd think he'd try to improve with practice, wouldnt you, if they dumped him for being a crap shag presumably theyd dump him quicker if he was no shag ?
If you want to resolve it you have to massage his ego a bit tell him how much you like him, tell him both that your sure he woundnt be/ isnt a crap shag and that if he was together we can make it much better etc..
Sounds like he insecure, maybe he has a low sex drive as well ?
Although I never had full penetrative sex until my current girlfriend, I had done things with two other girls, and both of them had made me feel really insecure about myself. They wouldn't do anything for me and would make horrible comments. Anything sexual with them was just not a nice experience.
Obvioulsy when I got with my current girlfriend I was petrified of sex with her, not only was I technically a virgin, past sexual experiences had been pretty awful.
To overcome this insecurity you just need to be very understanding and boost his confidence a bit. Do things for him and start to make him enjoy the experience. As things go on (maybe not the first few times) things should lead on. But don't rush it, make sure he feels comfortable, and if needs be, tell him how good he is at whatever he's doing.
Hope it all works out for you two!
to answer one question he is 10 years younger than me! there doesn't seem to be any problem there at all!. I do tell him he is great and throw him loads of complainments but he never seems to believe me so I'll just have to keep it up! I give him massages and all sorts I never push the sitiuation as I know I won't want it done to myself. I'll just have to keep going and hopefully I can make him know those ex's we're just being very cruel!.. thanks !
If he was 10 years older you might have more of a problem ?
Maybe you should try and push the situation a bit, I think so unless he's realy uncomfortable ?