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For anyone who may be able to help.

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Have mainly been on here for the past year or so as a spectator if you like with very few posts. However today has been so bad I just need to post, not so much for sympathy but for perhaps to shed some light at my dark dark tunnel or to help as you may have had the same experience(s).

Basically I am very depressed....not so much near suicidal but I am thinking what is the point in life etc. Im 24, male still living at home with mum and her fella. Anyway for the past three years I have been somewhat down but not as bad as today. Before xmas I had a month off sick, with depression, as I simply could not cope anymore. At the same time things were going well in a new relationship so I was sort of up and down. However I returned to work in the new year feeling all good, with work and the new girl.....I had been on Timag tablets which help with depression. Id been on them for about three weeks but since returning to work and having good times with the new girl I didn't feel the need for them...so I just stopped them! Ive been off them now for about two-three weeks and again I am feeling really poo! To top it off last week I gave the new girl an ultimatum as to telling her ex to do one.....it was a bit selfish and I realised that and explained......things were all good with her up til last tuesday.......she has been quite distant for the last week and I am assuming that its all over......I ask her if she wants me and her and she cant say......so today I felt myself tearing up and I was sick at work.....just over an hour ago I had a word with a colleague and he sorted things with my boss and now im home......I feel so depressed and dont know what to do....bar going to the doctors this afternoon......as well as feeling I hate my job and gone pear shaped with the girl I am roughly 10k in debt.....also I feel I have nothing going for me...no qualifications.....I dont get on too well at home with Mum and for some reason she dont understand although going through depression herself years ago....I have nothing too look forward too and constantly think what's the point......is there anyone who has experienced depression themselves and has come through it.....please somewhat help.....I am so tired of feeling like this.....

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I dont fully feel able to offer any proper advice, having not been there to such an extent, but two of my closest friends got very low with depression both attempting suicide.

    Luckily both didnt suceed and both now look back and are really glad they werent.

    Things do change, and things do get better, it just takes time and with depression you cant see that far in the future.

    Good luck.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Well i may not be able to help but i understand some what of what your going through....i have just comr back to work after being of for nearly a month. I have always felt a little down but recently things got on top of me and i was prescirbed sleeping tablets and offered conselling. The thing with me is i hate my job lost contact with some good mates and didnt see a reason to get up. I thought there wasnt any point, i cried nearly everyday and just wanted to crawl up. I felt nobody understood what i felt like. Im now back at work but ive started looking for a new job. I still feel lonely and depressed but just going to take evryday as it comes. Hope u feeling better soon
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    With depression, changes can take a very long time to take place, yet they can also happen very quickly. You may find that although you've felt down for weeks, months, or even years. From time to time something will happen - whether it is a thought that enters your head, the actions of a fellow human being, the smell of freshly cut grass - these things happen and can help you pull yourself out of the rut that is depression. Some will help change your mood for a few minutes, some for days or weeks, and many are in-between.

    One day in the not too distant future, one of these things will happen to you and you'll remember what it feels like to actually want to be alive. To want to smell the grass, to want to hug the gorgeous girl on the other side of the road, even to want to jump in the puddles next time it pisses down ;).

    Expect no understanding from anyone else about how you feel. People who have never experienced depression won't have the slightest idea how you feel - they'll liken it to having a bad day. Those who have suffered from depression in the past may be more understanding, but as you'll never really be able to describe how you feel, and what makes you feel how you feel, they'll only be able to relate to their own feelings of depression, which may or may not be quite different to yours.

    I know naff all about anything, really. Take my advice, don't take my advice. Makes no odds to me, will probably make no odds to you as I don't really know what will help you. But from having been where I believe you currently are, I may have a little understanding of how you feel.

    Wait for one of those days where something reminds you of what life can be like. When something good happens - capture that moment in your head, the feelings you experienced, the smell, the texture, the taste - anything and everything. Try to put it somewhere that you can access it from time to time, when you need reminding of why you're here. You can't always find it, you don't always want to find it, but if you can find it the one time you really need to, then it'll likely do you no harm :).

    Second piece of advice to ignore and avoid like the plague - don't worry about owing money. It's only money, the world will carry on without it, and it certainly isn't a reason to feel down. If you end up paying back £20 per month for the rest of your life, then that is what you have to do. Just take the opporunity to stop yourself from falling any deeper in debt, and at least then you can see that it is becoming somewhat more manageable than it likely is today.

    Seriously, worry about loved ones who are seriously ill. Worry about what you've done to wind Fred up, and to make Freda ignore your calls for the last week. Don't worry about the money, it'll take a while to shift it but you'll do it. There are other things in life more precious than money - your health and wellbeing are just one of them.

    Find a doctor you feel really comfortable with, and take his/her advice. Don't just stop taking prescribed tablets, or altering the dose yourself - run the ideas past them first. There are known side-effects when starting and stopping medication, as well as when the dosage changes - without making the changes in the fashion recommended, you can make things very much worse for yourself as the chemical balance in your brain can be messed around :).

    There are loads of people on here who may be able to understand a little. And there are loads of people on here who have spoken about their feelings in the past - sometimes, just looking back over past threads can help you understand yourself a little better :).

    Chin up :). Go check out the sun outside, it's nice :).
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    With depression, changes can take a very long time to take place, yet they can also happen very quickly. You may find that although you've felt down for weeks, months, or even years. From time to time something will happen - whether it is a thought that enters your head, the actions of a fellow human being, the smell of freshly cut grass - these things happen and can help you pull yourself out of the rut that is depression. Some will help change your mood for a few minutes, some for days or weeks, and many are in-between.

    One day in the not too distant future, one of these things will happen to you and you'll remember what it feels like to actually want to be alive. To want to smell the grass, to want to hug the gorgeous girl on the other side of the road, even to want to jump in the puddles next time it pisses down ;).

    Expect no understanding from anyone else about how you feel. People who have never experienced depression won't have the slightest idea how you feel - they'll liken it to having a bad day. Those who have suffered from depression in the past may be more understanding, but as you'll never really be able to describe how you feel, and what makes you feel how you feel, they'll only be able to relate to their own feelings of depression, which may or may not be quite different to yours.

    I know naff all about anything, really. Take my advice, don't take my advice. Makes no odds to me, will probably make no odds to you as I don't really know what will help you. But from having been where I believe you currently are, I may have a little understanding of how you feel.

    Wait for one of those days where something reminds you of what life can be like. When something good happens - capture that moment in your head, the feelings you experienced, the smell, the texture, the taste - anything and everything. Try to put it somewhere that you can access it from time to time, when you need reminding of why you're here. You can't always find it, you don't always want to find it, but if you can find it the one time you really need to, then it'll likely do you no harm :).

    Second piece of advice to ignore and avoid like the plague - don't worry about owing money. It's only money, the world will carry on without it, and it certainly isn't a reason to feel down. If you end up paying back £20 per month for the rest of your life, then that is what you have to do. Just take the opporunity to stop yourself from falling any deeper in debt, and at least then you can see that it is becoming somewhat more manageable than it likely is today.

    Seriously, worry about loved ones who are seriously ill. Worry about what you've done to wind Fred up, and to make Freda ignore your calls for the last week. Don't worry about the money, it'll take a while to shift it but you'll do it. There are other things in life more precious than money - your health and wellbeing are just one of them.

    Find a doctor you feel really comfortable with, and take his/her advice. Don't just stop taking prescribed tablets, or altering the dose yourself - run the ideas past them first. There are known side-effects when starting and stopping medication, as well as when the dosage changes - without making the changes in the fashion recommended, you can make things very much worse for yourself as the chemical balance in your brain can be messed around :).

    There are loads of people on here who may be able to understand a little. And there are loads of people on here who have spoken about their feelings in the past - sometimes, just looking back over past threads can help you understand yourself a little better :).

    Chin up :). Go check out the sun outside, it's nice :).

    Thankyou
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Anytime. Feel free to PM me if you fancy chatting to someone in privacy, if you so choose :).
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    This isn't so much advice as just my thoughts, I think looking for advice on such a matter on an internet message board possible isn't the best idea. Try going and having a talk with a coucillor (if you haven't already). I did and I didn't think I even needed to but I'm glad I did, I felt better immediately. All I did was just talk and talk about crap as well!

    I think I have experienced a reasonabely bad form of depression (by my own doing). You cannot see outside of yourself and can't see much of a future for yourself right? Feel like everyone around you is going about their day to day life, while your just stuck and feel like your on the outside?

    Anyway, thats not what matters so much. What matters is that you trust things WILL get better, believe me they will. BUT from what I've experienced it gets worse before you start picking up and getting better, so when you feel like there's little/no hope etc that is wrong. You do actually have the power to change things, you don't have to do it conciously either... just believe that things will get better. And don't despair at the first let-down relapse. Just see it as something you are going through and the only way out of it is through it.

    If you believe the above, you will get better I would go as far to bet a lot of money on it but you must trust. All good things come to an end? So do bad things as well, remember things work both ways. Don't always look on the bright side, allow yourself to feel it. Sooner or later you'll get your head round it all but you may get knocked back when you think things are looking up. When you are actually coming out of it, you WILL know about it trust me.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Uprising wrote:
    This isn't so much advice as just my thoughts, I think looking for advice on such a matter on an internet message board possible isn't the best idea. Try going and having a talk with a coucillor (if you haven't already). I did and I didn't think I even needed to but I'm glad I did, I felt better immediately. All I did was just talk and talk about crap as well!

    I think I have experienced a reasonabely bad form of depression (by my own doing). You cannot see outside of yourself and can't see much of a future for yourself right? Feel like everyone around you is going about their day to day life, while your just stuck and feel like your on the outside?

    Anyway, thats not what matters so much. What matters is that you trust things WILL get better, believe me they will. BUT from what I've experienced it gets worse before you start picking up and getting better, so when you feel like there's little/no hope etc that is wrong. You do actually have the power to change things, you don't have to do it conciously either... just believe that things will get better. And don't despair at the first let-down relapse. Just see it as something you are going through and the only way out of it is through it.

    If you believe the above, you will get better I would go as far to bet a lot of money on it but you must trust. All good things come to an end? So do bad things as well, remember things work both ways. Don't always look on the bright side, allow yourself to feel it. Sooner or later you'll get your head round it all but you may get knocked back when you think things are looking up. When you are actually coming out of it, you WILL know about it trust me.

    nice one thanks
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